Vent Post about school, depression, social anxiety and quarantine

Watch
Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
#1
This is just going to be a vent post for everything that i need to get off my chest, and that I hope a few people will be able to see and comment.

Before quarantine, I was longer friends with my closest friend who I shared every moment with for the past 3 years. I was also having problems with some people within my friend group. Upon reflection, it can be said that my personality seemed to be toxic although it was never my intention to hurt any of them.

Without my best friend every moment I spend in school is tense, full of regret and frustration, because I could've walked right up to them and talked to them like a normal person the entire time. We made up so easily, but it was the end to something I cherished so much.

In an attempt to stop feeling the pain, I latched onto another person for support and tried to forget the memories I had with my old friend. This was an unhealthy approach, now that I look back to it, and I wish I just talked to the old friend like a normal person.

Some people within the old friend group began to spread rumours about me being toxic, controlling. Although I was in the wrong this was exaggerated rumours in a sense. Teenagers will be teenagers, and people began to distance themselves from me and hold back on general politeness. My self esteem plummeted severely. If you have made it this far then you're about to know the effects.

I began thinking I needed to be a quieter nicer person, but when people's reaction weren't what i expected I started to think there was something wrong with me and that I wasn't capable of interaction.
I found it very difficult to make new friends, always afraid of what to say next so I kept my mouth shut. I became very alone with everyone's voices slamming in my head whilst I so desperately wanted to say something about it - the mental toll was taking its effect.

I was having problems with the person I was relying on support for and she probably couldn't have dealt with my situation since it would've become depressing for her. And although she wasn't qualified to be a therapist, she began to express her distaste towards the fact that I stopped functioning like a normal person. It made my self esteem plummet further and further.
0
reply
shebk
Badges: 12
Rep:
?
#2
Report 1 week ago
#2
You'd better check the reason why your old friends think you toxic
Are you a high school student? Do you study well?
0
reply
PAPYRUS-UK
Badges: 9
Rep:
?
#3
Report 1 week ago
#3
(Original post by Anonymous)
This is just going to be a vent post for everything that i need to get off my chest, and that I hope a few people will be able to see and comment.

Before quarantine, I was longer friends with my closest friend who I shared every moment with for the past 3 years. I was also having problems with some people within my friend group. Upon reflection, it can be said that my personality seemed to be toxic although it was never my intention to hurt any of them.

Without my best friend every moment I spend in school is tense, full of regret and frustration, because I could've walked right up to them and talked to them like a normal person the entire time. We made up so easily, but it was the end to something I cherished so much.

In an attempt to stop feeling the pain, I latched onto another person for support and tried to forget the memories I had with my old friend. This was an unhealthy approach, now that I look back to it, and I wish I just talked to the old friend like a normal person.

Some people within the old friend group began to spread rumours about me being toxic, controlling. Although I was in the wrong this was exaggerated rumours in a sense. Teenagers will be teenagers, and people began to distance themselves from me and hold back on general politeness. My self esteem plummeted severely. If you have made it this far then you're about to know the effects.

I began thinking I needed to be a quieter nicer person, but when people's reaction weren't what i expected I started to think there was something wrong with me and that I wasn't capable of interaction.
I found it very difficult to make new friends, always afraid of what to say next so I kept my mouth shut. I became very alone with everyone's voices slamming in my head whilst I so desperately wanted to say something about it - the mental toll was taking its effect.

I was having problems with the person I was relying on support for and she probably couldn't have dealt with my situation since it would've become depressing for her. And although she wasn't qualified to be a therapist, she began to express her distaste towards the fact that I stopped functioning like a normal person. It made my self esteem plummet further and further.
Hi,


It sounds like an incredibly difficult time for you, that has understandably lead to confusion and a negative impact on your mental health.

Forming relationships with people can be so difficult because we are all dealing with our own insecurities and people respond to feeling insecure in different ways. Some people attack, others retreat, some do a bit of both. As social creature most humans look for something to bond over and unfortunately that something is often picking on someone else or another group - to build a bond with others.

It sounds like you are already a reflective person, which can be really useful. None of us can change the person we were in the past. Maybe now is a good time for you to use your reflective skills to think about the sort of person you want to be from now on, from their you can think of the sort of people you want to be around. Our 'tribe' in life can play a big part in our happiness, it is better to have a small tribe that all have a positive impact, rather than a big tribe where some of them have a negative one.

You are certainly not alone in going through something like this, but for each person the situation is unique, so you have to find the best way for you to get yourself out of feeling like you do.

You can start by writing down everything about yourself that you are already happy with, then adding to it with things you would like to be in the future - sort of like if you were creating a character for a film what would you want them to be like?

If you like watching videos, you can search on youtube for 'finding yourself' and 'finding your tribe' and there will be loads of videos to look through.

Hope that helps.

Socrates.
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How are you finding researching unis for 2021 entry?

I have been able to get all the information I need from online research (65)
19.35%
I have tried virtual events and found them useful (72)
21.43%
I have tried virtual events and did not find them useful (62)
18.45%
I would be interested in trying socially distanced or scaled down in person events (70)
20.83%
I want to but don't know where to start with researching unis for 2021 entry (34)
10.12%
I haven't started researching yet (33)
9.82%

Watched Threads

View All