The Student Room Group

Boyfriend messy/noisy

It's a recent relationship, he's just stayed at mine for 5 days (I live alone in a studio) and i've realised that we are quite different in that aspect.

He wants to have the TV on full blast and the windows wide open. I asked him to turn it down a bit and he did but it's still very loud compared to what I would have. I also told him that I find it a bit selfish to have music blasting out with the windows wide open, especially at night.

He's quite messy and left his clothes/underwear strewn over my floor. In addition, if he drinks a can of beer or whatever he won't throw away the can, just leave it on the side.

I tried to combat this by asking him to do some of the washing up etc. Whilst he was there.

He's very loud and always singing, which is pretty annoying.
He snores too which is not his fault, but it kept me awake a couple of times.

To his credit he was apologetic about it. I'm just worried this would cause problems long-term.

I'm so used to being single, having my own space and enjoying peace and quiet so it was hard to adapt.
He's an amazing guy and I really enjoyed him being there, I just found it hard to deal with. I explained to him i'm noise-sensitive and also need a good night's, uninterrupted sleep and he was understanding.

On the other hand i'm not saying we should live like monks, I can't expect silence at all times etc. I know.

Has anyone else experienced this ? He's a very nice guy and I felt bad like I was nagging him a bit. Not sure what else to do apart from try and find compromises.
Part of moving further in a relationship is that you also discover more cracks in it that you wouldn't be able to see before.

The kind of problems you're describing will be difficult to deal with as he kinda needs to be retrained, which comes with the risk that he feels imprisoned, or he slowly slips back into old habits. You're getting annoyed enough to post about it after 5 days, but what about after 5 years, or 50? That said, part of being in a relationship is becoming a better person, so maybe he understands it and sees the benefits of changing.

By the way he should go to a doctor if he snores as it's an indicator of some pretty bad medical problems. Even if it isn't something bad they should still be able to help with the snoring.
Original post by Helloworld_95


The kind of problems you're describing will be difficult to deal with as he kinda needs to be retrained, which comes with the risk that he feels imprisoned, or he slowly slips back into old habits.


Has she got a boyfriend or a golden retriever?
Original post by Otherdjrj
Has she got a boyfriend or a golden retriever?

That's pretty much my point
Long ago, I never quite understood some people's attraction of playing loud music with windows open, until I observed a pattern in my mother's behavior.

1. It was summer, and so there were lots of flies, and she hated leaving the windows open because of that.
2. It was too hot for me, so we argued about it sometimes.
3. I would also play the piano.
4. She often then would open the windows, particularly those facing our neighbors, when I was playing the piano.
5. Which I disliked even more, because I'm not much of an exhibitionist and play for myself.

From then on, I noticed she'd often do something similar when playing opera. Except I'd normally hide in a far corner of the house from it. Until I figured out how to hack the chrome cast and drive her nuts by erratically pausing the video or slowing it down 0.25x.

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