Why do people ask for advice and then either don't believe you or don't take it?

Watch
ArabellaMarie8
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#1
So I'm in uni and there are two students on the same course. As an alumni, they always ask me questions (they are also from a foreign country). Even if its a general question to do with marking, submitting essays, things the tutor said about the assessment when they weren't listening. And they never believe me. Despite me proving that I'm right after each time. And then when it comes to assessment-I read over one of their essays to check grammar and made some suggestions and was told "no I'm not editing it" and then complained when they failed. Why bother asking in the first place? I'm not longer helping them but it really irked me. Has anyone else had this issue
Last edited by ArabellaMarie8; 4 days ago
0
reply
Kk1999
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#2
Report 4 days ago
#2
(Original post by ArabellaMarie8)
Idk why this ended up in this forum btw!

So I'm in uni and there are two students on the same course. As an alumni, they always ask me questions (they are also from a foreign country). Even if its a general question to do with marking, submitting essays, things the tutor said about the assessment when they weren't listening. And they never believe me. Despite me proving that I'm right after each time. And then when it comes to assessment-I read over one of their essays to check grammar and made some suggestions and was told "no I'm not editing it" and then complained when they failed. Why bother asking in the first place? I'm not longer helping them but it really irked me. Has anyone else had this issue
I face this all the time but the we can't control anyone...All we can do is give an honest reply or whatever it is and its up to them to agree or disagree.

I love helping people and its so lovely when they accept what you say.
Generally, they just listen and ignore...
I'm like why did he/she even ask me then!? 🤕
1
reply
ArabellaMarie8
Badges: 3
Rep:
?
#3
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#3
(Original post by Kk1999)
I face this all the time but the we can't control anyone...All we can do is give an honest reply or whatever it is and its up to them to agree or disagree.

I love helping people and its so lovely when they accept what you say.
Generally, they just listen and ignore...
I'm like why did he/she even ask me then!? 🤕
But this is every single answer I give. They say "I don't think so" even when they weren't at the damn seminar! I'm fine with them questioning what I say, but literally every single time? We are doing our dissertations atm and one of them asked a question and I said no we don't do that for this type of dissertation and literally, the argument! Even when the tutor has suggested that we read example dissertations, the thing she is asking about isn't in a single one. It's like unless I'm confirming what they want the answer to be, what I say is wrong! Even the fact that the uni had a name change a few years ago when I was an undergrad. For me I always called it by that name (force of habit) and when I explained why, they said "no it's always been called ..." and "are you sure?". It frustrates the **** out of me, ofc I'm sure, I was a damn student here when it happened! Ugh, it will get to the point where I will just ignore them
1
reply
Kk1999
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#4
Report 4 days ago
#4
(Original post by ArabellaMarie8)
But this is every single answer I give. They say "I don't think so" even when they weren't at the damn seminar! I'm fine with them questioning what I say, but literally every single time? We are doing our dissertations atm and one of them asked a question and I said no we don't do that for this type of dissertation and literally, the argument! Even when the tutor has suggested that we read example dissertations, the thing she is asking about isn't in a single one. It's like unless I'm confirming what they want the answer to be, what I say is wrong! Even the fact that the uni had a name change a few years ago when I was an undergrad. For me I always called it by that name (force of habit) and when I explained why, they said "no it's always been called ..." and "are you sure?". It frustrates the **** out of me, ofc I'm sure, I was a damn student here when it happened! Ugh, it will get to the point where I will just ignore them
Well then you better be quiet and do what you're doing.
Because I was my Uni topper but I faced the same thing. I stopped helping anyone and just minded my business and would never give free replies or advices.
But sometimes my junior would come and ask me doubts.. I would clear it.. keeping in mind what their professor has told them. Because they worship their professors and I would find so many mistakes in them.
Well, later I graduated with very high merits and was accepted in a uni.. that's when these guys realised I was right... but when I came here... 😂
these new guys.. the same thing.

I prefer keeping quiet because they wouldn't accept until you have a status or recognition!
2
reply
PhoenixFortune
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#5
Report 4 days ago
#5
(Original post by ArabellaMarie8)
So I'm in uni and there are two students on the same course. As an alumni, they always ask me questions (they are also from a foreign country). Even if its a general question to do with marking, submitting essays, things the tutor said about the assessment when they weren't listening. And they never believe me. Despite me proving that I'm right after each time. And then when it comes to assessment-I read over one of their essays to check grammar and made some suggestions and was told "no I'm not editing it" and then complained when they failed. Why bother asking in the first place? I'm not longer helping them but it really irked me. Has anyone else had this issue
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

If they refuse to accept your advice, stop wasting your time giving it in future. It's not your responsibility if they don't do well.
5
reply
Kk1999
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#6
Report 4 days ago
#6
(Original post by PhoenixFortune)
You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink.

If they refuse to accept your advice, stop wasting your time giving it in future. It's not your responsibility if they don't do well.
beautiful 😍😍😍
0
reply
harrysbar
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#7
Report 1 day ago
#7
(Original post by ArabellaMarie8)
But this is every single answer I give. They say "I don't think so" even when they weren't at the damn seminar! I'm fine with them questioning what I say, but literally every single time? We are doing our dissertations atm and one of them asked a question and I said no we don't do that for this type of dissertation and literally, the argument! Even when the tutor has suggested that we read example dissertations, the thing she is asking about isn't in a single one. It's like unless I'm confirming what they want the answer to be, what I say is wrong! Even the fact that the uni had a name change a few years ago when I was an undergrad. For me I always called it by that name (force of habit) and when I explained why, they said "no it's always been called ..." and "are you sure?". It frustrates the **** out of me, ofc I'm sure, I was a damn student here when it happened! Ugh, it will get to the point where I will just ignore them
They sound really annoying.

Same thing happens on TSR. People ask for opinions about something and if you happen to have knowledge about the subject, you give it. Then they say "No you're wrong" because the answer you gave was not the one they wanted to hear
1
reply
Oxford Mum
Badges: 21
Rep:
?
#8
Report 3 hours ago
#8
I was going to say that, harrys but you beat me to it!

This is especially true of the incel threads. They post something like “why can’t I get a girlfriend “. . They make out how they are so nice but not successful with women. Then you suggest how they can maybe get a new haircut, or go to the gym, or go to a club to meet women. They refuse all advice.

They persist in saying they are lonely and it goes round and round in circles, until they start blaming the women in question for not fancying them. The negative comments carry on until they admit they can’t stand women in the first place! Then they wonder why they are alone, lol.

Your friends don’t listen to you, then why continue to offer them advice? You’d have more success teaching your dog to knit a swimming pool.
1
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How are you finding researching unis for 2021 entry?

I have been able to get all the information I need from online research (37)
20.67%
I have tried virtual events and found them useful (45)
25.14%
I have tried virtual events and did not find them useful (28)
15.64%
I would be interested in trying socially distanced or scaled down in person events (39)
21.79%
I want to but don't know where to start with researching unis for 2021 entry (16)
8.94%
I haven't started researching yet (14)
7.82%

Watched Threads

View All