Missed out on youth and too boring for girls

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Anonymous #1
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Pretty much as per the title.

Early twenties, done uni, etc but just feel I've still missed out on being young and living my life. People say 'oh you're still young, you can' or whatever but as you get older, you have responsibilities to take care of and work becomes more prominent. At 25, it's a little sad to do things with 18/19 year olds and trying hard to fit in to what they are doing. I have so little life experience and it shows when I'm with people; think I'd be constantly depressed at work. When you aren't liked or given a chance by people, it's a little hard to have fun.

Also again got the cliched 'it'll happen' or 'you haven't found the right girl' but that's for a serious relationship. Most people at my age aren't looking for something overly committed and neither am I; I seem to bore most girls my age (even the introverted/nerdy ones) but much older women like me. I can see myself at this rate getting a job, working and all that but finding someone at 30 either through some last resort arranged marriage or because someone decided to take advantage of me (loveless marriage). I go for the right type of girls, but when what they want right now is the kinda bloke I'm not, well there's not much I can do except live my life and try not to cry myself to sleep..
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Anonymous #1
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Also wanted to add that I'm not trolling, I'm genuinely unhappy
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Old Skool Freak
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So you've identified the problem... you say you're boring. What are you doing to try and make life better for yourself? Do you have any goals / ambitions? Do you have any hobbies or interests? Do you put yourself in a position where you can meet / interact with girls? Do you exercise? You'll be surprised how much exercise improves your mood.

You say women in their 30's like you... still better than what lot of people get (some people don't get anything). They may not look as youthful as those in their teens /twenties, but older women tend to know what they're doing sex-wise, so I'm sure those cougars could teach you a trick or two.
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LovelyMrFox
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Well if your too boring, isnt the obvious option to become less boring...?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Well if your too boring, isnt the obvious option to become less boring...?
I think boring is subjective. Just because you don't share the same music taste or interests as people your age, does not mean you are a boring person on the whole. A friend of mine who basically sits at home, meets a couple friends, plays playstation and collects coins would be considered 'boring', but he's had a few relationships..
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Anonymous #2
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Have u tried online dating????
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I think boring is subjective. Just because you don't share the same music taste or interests as people your age, does not mean you are a boring person on the whole. A friend of mine who basically sits at home, meets a couple friends, plays playstation and collects coins would be considered 'boring', but he's had a few relationships..
So then what exactly was this post for?...
Just to vent? What was the question?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Old Skool Freak)
So you've identified the problem... you say you're boring. What are you doing to try and make life better for yourself? Do you have any goals / ambitions? Do you have any hobbies or interests? Do you put yourself in a position where you can meet / interact with girls? Do you exercise? You'll be surprised how much exercise improves your mood.

You say women in their 30's like you... still better than what lot of people get (some people don't get anything). They may not look as youthful as those in their teens /twenties, but older women tend to know what they're doing sex-wise, so I'm sure those cougars could teach you a trick or two.
I'm boring because of my habits, but I have good stories and hold a variety of interests. Currently looking for work, but also trying to work on my confidence and personal aspects that might need to be worked on. I did at uni and had a few female friends, but these fell apart when some of my friendship groups also fell apart. Exercise wise I did, but I'm forcing myself to shed the pounds I've put on since self-isolation started in March.

Well that's the feel I get; I don't get anything usually and haven't done anything with a girl yet. It's not about looks but it's nice to enjoy time with people your age. Yes they would and I'd be up for being with an older woman sexually at some point, but would they want to teach a virgin everything from scratch? My gut tells me no..
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
So then what exactly was this post for?...
Just to vent? What was the question?
Vent yes, but what I can potentially do to fix my situation.

I find a lot of the advice sometimes a little too cliche
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Have u tried online dating????
Yes to little success
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Vent yes, but what I can potentially do to fix my situation.

I find a lot of the advice sometimes a little too cliche
Erm, become less boring?...
We dont know you, and we dont know in what way your 'boring'. So we really cant give you specifics.
Id say just try out some hobbies, maybe get into some sort of sport?
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marple
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Pretty much as per the title.

Early twenties, done uni, etc but just feel I've still missed out on being young and living my life. People say 'oh you're still young, you can' or whatever but as you get older, you have responsibilities to take care of and work becomes more prominent. At 25, it's a little sad to do things with 18/19 year olds and trying hard to fit in to what they are doing. I have so little life experience and it shows when I'm with people; think I'd be constantly depressed at work. When you aren't liked or given a chance by people, it's a little hard to have fun.

Also again got the cliched 'it'll happen' or 'you haven't found the right girl' but that's for a serious relationship. Most people at my age aren't looking for something overly committed and neither am I; I seem to bore most girls my age (even the introverted/nerdy ones) but much older women like me. I can see myself at this rate getting a job, working and all that but finding someone at 30 either through some last resort arranged marriage or because someone decided to take advantage of me (loveless marriage). I go for the right type of girls, but when what they want right now is the kinda bloke I'm not, well there's not much I can do except live my life and try not to cry myself to sleep..
Why don't you do something out of your comfort zone that will help you develop as a person. Book a Realgap/Gap360/contiki/intrepid etc type holiday? A couple of weeks in an exciting location with other under 35s will give you a much needed new experience
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Anonymous #3
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What are you interested in? What gets you excited and engaged? I think you'll find that most people try very very hard to only talk about boring things, and don't even have very specific hobbies or passions. They choose not to be interesting, because exposing/having that much of a personality feels somehow undignified and overenthusiastic. As somebody who is interested in a ridiculous number of things, does plenty, and can make (subjectively) witty conversation on a lot of topics, I'm only even slightly interesting to a very specific type of person. Opportunities increase or decrease exponentially when you gain or lose them. If you start doing something, perhaps it will all come together faster than you'd think, and you'd find people (some of them female perhaps) who are genuinely similar to you. I'm afraid it really is a numbers game, albeit targeted towards the demographic you want to get to know.
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jenna_8607
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damn.. 😓
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21ForEva
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What are you interested in? What gets you excited and engaged? I think you'll find that most people try very very hard to only talk about boring things, and don't even have very specific hobbies or passions. They choose not to be interesting, because exposing/having that much of a personality feels somehow undignified and overenthusiastic. As somebody who is interested in a ridiculous number of things, does plenty, and can make (subjectively) witty conversation on a lot of topics, I'm only even slightly interesting to a very specific type of person. Opportunities increase or decrease exponentially when you gain or lose them. If you start doing something, perhaps it will all come together faster than you'd think, and you'd find people (some of them female perhaps) who are genuinely similar to you. I'm afraid it really is a numbers game, albeit targeted towards the demographic you want to get to know.
Couldn’t up vote so here it is 👍🏻 I totally agree.
Haha the thing you said about people exposing themselves too much makes them look over enthusiastic is so true. I am that person and even when I have tonnes of things to discuss (I can talk for England!) for some reason people back off and I assume it’s cuz I come off too strong and they think I’m a nut.

OP, you just have to wait for the right group of friends or that one special girl who’ll just accept you. And I think it’s good if you just don’t keep expecting it or wishing for it. I find things like this happen out of the blue. For instance I had a weird-ass romantic encounter with someone on holiday when I didn’t expect it - yeah it was short lived and didn’t really fulfil any important needs in my life like my isolation/loneliness issue but it was an experience.

Unfortunately yes the cliche lines come into play here where you’ll just have to be patient ..... one day you’ll probably have not 1 but 10 girls falling at your feet when you’re least expecting
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Anonymous #4
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You know what's boring? another male annoyed that he cannot get a girl but doesn't really want anything serious so is just annoyed he can't have sex and is selfish

what have you missed out on exactly? was it your own fault?
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Old Skool Freak
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm boring because of my habits, but I have good stories and hold a variety of interests. Currently looking for work, but also trying to work on my confidence and personal aspects that might need to be worked on. I did at uni and had a few female friends, but these fell apart when some of my friendship groups also fell apart. Exercise wise I did, but I'm forcing myself to shed the pounds I've put on since self-isolation started in March.
I'm a bit confused... you say you're boring, but you've got good stories?!? Sounds like a bit of an oxymoron. How can having good stories and a range of interest make you boring? Unless you mean you've got a monotone voice... in which case you'd just need to learn how to "animate" yourself; I'm sure a drama class or something would help you with that (N.B. Tends to be more women at those kind of classes as well... bonus )

So you had female friends at uni... what was stopping you from keeping in contact with them individually? With social media like Facebook, Instagram etc. it's far easier to keep in contact with people than before. What are you doing exercise wise? Weights or cardio? Do you eat healthy as well? I always find tomatoes always puts me in a good mood for some reason. Even at the height of self-isolation, we were still allowed to exercise for an hour outside (and limitless indoors).

Make sure you make the most of the lockdown ease, and the nice weather.


Well that's the feel I get; I don't get anything usually and haven't done anything with a girl yet. It's not about looks but it's nice to enjoy time with people your age. Yes they would and I'd be up for being with an older woman sexually at some point, but would they want to teach a virgin everything from scratch? My gut tells me no..
Well, to be blunt, beggars can't be choosers.

You need to identify the reasons it hasn't happened for you yet, and address those (it may not be easy, either identifying or addressing the issues).

An older woman probably wouldn't be interested in teaching someone for a one night stand... but they'd probably be far more patient in something like a relationship. They may see you more like a "blank canvas" and you could be their own project. As long as you show some improvement over time, it wouldn't be an issue. However, if after a few weeks, nothing has changed, then that may well be an issue.
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Old Skool Freak
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(Original post by 21ForEva)
Couldn’t up vote so here it is 👍🏻 I totally agree.
Haha the thing you said about people exposing themselves too much makes them look over enthusiastic is so true. I am that person and even when I have tonnes of things to discuss (I can talk for England!) for some reason people back off and I assume it’s cuz I come off too strong and they think I’m a nut.

OP, you just have to wait for the right group of friends or that one special girl who’ll just accept you. And I think it’s good if you just don’t keep expecting it or wishing for it. I find things like this happen out of the blue. For instance I had a weird-ass romantic encounter with someone on holiday when I didn’t expect it - yeah it was short lived and didn’t really fulfil any important needs in my life like my isolation/loneliness issue but it was an experience.

Unfortunately yes the cliche lines come into play here where you’ll just have to be patient ..... one day you’ll probably have not 1 but 10 girls falling at your feet when you’re least expecting
Cheers for the rep
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Totoro50
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(Original post by Anonymous)
What are you interested in? What gets you excited and engaged? I think you'll find that most people try very very hard to only talk about boring things, and don't even have very specific hobbies or passions. They choose not to be interesting, because exposing/having that much of a personality feels somehow undignified and overenthusiastic. As somebody who is interested in a ridiculous number of things, does plenty, and can make (subjectively) witty conversation on a lot of topics, I'm only even slightly interesting to a very specific type of person. Opportunities increase or decrease exponentially when you gain or lose them. If you start doing something, perhaps it will all come together faster than you'd think, and you'd find people (some of them female perhaps) who are genuinely similar to you. I'm afraid it really is a numbers game, albeit targeted towards the demographic you want to get to know.
This is great advice. During periods where I became fascinated with a topic that was new (almost anything), people could feel the energy and I can share that while being of only midling looks, I was the approached one at coffee shops a few times. I was so into what I was doing, it caused curiosity. I am not suggesting clownish behavoior or a new unhealthy obsession, but there is something about a person who is excited to be alive and excited about something that makes you interesting. Faking it will fall out, but find your loves and passions. Live something and see what happens.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by marple)
Why don't you do something out of your comfort zone that will help you develop as a person. Book a Realgap/Gap360/contiki/intrepid etc type holiday? A couple of weeks in an exciting location with other under 35s will give you a much needed new experience
I'd consider that at some point.

Was planning to go on holiday this year with some old friends before everything kicked off
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