Jobless loner loser

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Anonymous #1
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I'm turning 23 in a few days. Graduated my BA, 12 months' work experience, only had 2 months' work in a year since graduating. Graduated 3 months late anyway with an extension because i had a breakdown.

No luck with any jobs. No idea what I want to do. No friends. Only 2 family members talk to me.

I got accepted onto a Masters but am probably going to suck at that too. Lucky enough to have 1 person who will support me financially with this but things are not going smoothly so it may not happen at all.

I am at rock bottom and such a low point in my confidence, i can't even walk into a shop without feeling ashamed to be alive. The jobs I'm applying to fill me with dread and depression to think of getting them, but I never hear back anyway. the Indeed website reviewed my CV and basically declared it a piece of shite despite me thinking I've finally got it somewhere cool albeit a bit unconventional. I'm applying for **** odd jobs which just thinking about make me feel even worse about myself.

I thought by 23 most people should be past entry level??

Any advice or tips?
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Tonya.KS
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It is a tough job market so I wouldn't get too upset, just keep at it. A close friend of mine went down the same road, got depression because she was in a very situation as you. Before I give you my take on CV/job hunting, the most important thing is to take care of your mental health first! You won't get anywhere if you think negatively and always feel ashamed. And no, the whole point of graduate positions are because we are babies, we know little and basically treated as entry level jobs. So don't over think! You're essentially in the same boat as most graduates.

Imo job hunting is a skill and its hard to tell you everything over a paragraph or two. It involves everything from your CV to networking, timing and communication skills. I often proof read my friends' CV from uni so I can have a quick look at yours if that's of any help, without any personal details of course.

Personally I never recommend any of my friends (graduates) to apply for odd jobs, there are always decent jobs about, and I mean always. You just need to know where to look, and indeed is not one of them.

What's your BA in?
Last edited by Tonya.KS; 1 week ago
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TabithaFord99
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm turning 23 in a few days. Graduated my BA, 12 months' work experience, only had 2 months' work in a year since graduating. Graduated 3 months late anyway with an extension because i had a breakdown.

No luck with any jobs. No idea what I want to do. No friends. Only 2 family members talk to me.

I got accepted onto a Masters but am probably going to suck at that too. Lucky enough to have 1 person who will support me financially with this but things are not going smoothly so it may not happen at all.

I am at rock bottom and such a low point in my confidence, i can't even walk into a shop without feeling ashamed to be alive. The jobs I'm applying to fill me with dread and depression to think of getting them, but I never hear back anyway. the Indeed website reviewed my CV and basically declared it a piece of shite despite me thinking I've finally got it somewhere cool albeit a bit unconventional. I'm applying for **** odd jobs which just thinking about make me feel even worse about myself.

I thought by 23 most people should be past entry level??

Any advice or tips?
I don't know who told you that "by 23" you "should be past entry level"? There is no "should" about the job market - at the very best of times there are no guarantees, and for most people getting a job they actually want means first doing lots of other jobs that they don't want to do. In short - you have to plough through a lot of snow before you get to the cabin. When I graduated from university (a while back now) I had a first class honours degree, and worked in a cafe for some months, then in retail - essentially doing jobs that a school leaver was qualified for. But these taught me valuable skills and I got good references, and they helped me get my next job, and so on.

The truth is, there is never really a great time to get a job. In 2008 there was the banking crisis and subsequent recession and austerity programme that put a lot of people on their uppers. There was the dot com bubble and 2000-2002 recession. There was a recession in the early 1990s. The 1980s saw a lot of heavy industry and manufacturing shut down. If you look at most Western economies, they are beset by periods of difficulty. During these times, you just have to take whatever job you can get and put your pre-conceptions to one side. Unfortunately, at the moment, we are probably heading into one of these slumps. This is just how it is.

I'm not sure why you say that the prospect of getting a job that you've applied for makes you feel "even worse" about yourself? Having any kind of job is incredible good fortune. Being able to work, and contribute to society, and earn your own money by legitimate means is amazing. Having a work ethic and going out and working hard to improve your prospects is nothing to be ashamed of. Assuming that the world owes you a living, thinking "I'm better than that", or believing that other tax payers should fund your lifestyle, are, however attitudes to be ashamed of.

In your post you focus on all the things that you believe are wrong or have gone wrong for you. Read it back and see. Here's what I see - you have had the amazing good fortune to be able to attend university. What an opportunity. Not everyone gets that chance. You should be thinking to yourself "Gosh how luck I am". Yes, you had some health difficulties, but you continued and graduated anyway. Again, you should be congratulating yourself. You now have the opportunity to go and do a Masters - again, how many people have that chance in life?

There's lots of statements you make which suggest that you believe you have no agency over your own life. "only 2 family members talk to me." Do you talk to the other family members? Communication is a two-way street, if you have had a falling out with members of your family, then you can do something to change that. Likewise the statement "no friends". If you want friends, you need to go out and look for opportunities to meet people - a lot of my closest friends are people I have met through various jobs I have had.

My best advice is to try and recalibrate your attitude, and see that regardless of the difficulties we are all facing at the present time, these restrictions will not last forever, there is hope on the other side of this. You have had tremendous good fortune in your life, and you need to recognise that the opportunities you have are exceptional. You're in good health; you have an education; a family; a roof over your head; and sufficient resources to be writing this message on here. Take a look around at other places in the world, and the lives of others. You have won the lottery of life. I hope you will do good works with your winnings.
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