Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
Hi everyone. I've just finished my first year of university (with term 3 online). Despite really looking forward to it and enjoying my course, I have struggled to find a good social group and have felt pretty isolated and unhappy in general. Missing the last term of the year has also not helped with branching out.
I've got involved with a few societies, but I never end up hanging out with people outside official society events, and always end up back in my room alone.
Has anyone been through a similar experience? Do you have advice for how to improve things in second year?
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Galdiowolf
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#2
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I feel the same, I haven't been socialising in my first year at all, just made a handful of friends. Maybe socialising outside of the classes, like In the library or the uni's café? That makes that be better, also don't force it, you will make new friends eventually. Don't be upset because you're not the only one in a "social group", you can perhaps focus on other things like your studies definitely a lot more.
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mike23mike
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone. I've just finished my first year of university (with term 3 online). Despite really looking forward to it and enjoying my course, I have struggled to find a good social group and have felt pretty isolated and unhappy in general. Missing the last term of the year has also not helped with branching out.
I've got involved with a few societies, but I never end up hanging out with people outside official society events, and always end up back in my room alone.
Has anyone been through a similar experience? Do you have advice for how to improve things in second year?
Hi, I found taking on a position of responsibility really helped my social life. For my course, I was part of the student committee organising the Christmas party and end of year ball. That meant I had to interact with staff and fellow students in organising the events and people got to know me. When selling raffle tickets for the Christmas party it was really easy for me to chat with people I did not know. Having an official role meant others were willing to chat.

I did also get involved in some sporting clubs - Departmental football - but you have said you have tried that. Perhaps try some other clubs in year 2? If you join sports society with large groups e.g. Lacross, Netball Hockey, Football etc then its easier to meet up after practice for a few beers.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone. I've just finished my first year of university (with term 3 online). Despite really looking forward to it and enjoying my course, I have struggled to find a good social group and have felt pretty isolated and unhappy in general. Missing the last term of the year has also not helped with branching out.
I've got involved with a few societies, but I never end up hanging out with people outside official society events, and always end up back in my room alone.
Has anyone been through a similar experience? Do you have advice for how to improve things in second year?
Why do you think this is, when I assume other people have has a better outcome?
Is any of it the uni?
The course?
Other events?
Is it down to you?
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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(Original post by mike23mike)
Hi, I found taking on a position of responsibility really helped my social life. For my course, I was part of the student committee organising the Christmas party and end of year ball. That meant I had to interact with staff and fellow students in organising the events and people got to know me. When selling raffle tickets for the Christmas party it was really easy for me to chat with people I did not know. Having an official role meant others were willing to chat.

I did also get involved in some sporting clubs - Departmental football - but you have said you have tried that. Perhaps try some other clubs in year 2? If you join sports society with large groups e.g. Lacross, Netball Hockey, Football etc then its easier to meet up after practice for a few beers.
Funnily I am involved in leading a faith society on campus, but there is very little social aspect at all and it's nothing like I imagined. It's just really stressful with very little reward - although having to run it online this term has obviously made things worse.

Joining other sports clubs is maybe a good idea. I had been involved in one earlier in the year but never really found a crowd
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Anonymous #1
#6
Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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(Original post by 999tigger)
Why do you think this is, when I assume other people have has a better outcome?
Is any of it the uni?
The course?
Other events?
Is it down to you?
Well, these questions are the source of a whole load of overthinking - I'm not sure whether it's me (I hope not) or the overall university I'm at.

I think the uni has its drawbacks - being a campus in the middle of nowhere, there is not much to do. It's alright if you have a social group but if not the campus just makes you feel even more isolated.
I enjoy my course but most people on it are quite quiet and it's hard to meet them - I might get more involved with my academic society but there's only a handful of people who go from my course of about 300 people.

My accommodation in first year also played a part - my kitchen was not a very close group and very fragmented, plus I didn't get on with some of them. I am living with two of them next year but we're not super close.

I think I could be part of the problem in that I could have made even more effort to hang out with people and arrange things, but it's not like I haven't tried. I've tried out multiple societies, arranged nights out and still feel a lack of connection. Also, it always feels like I have to be the one to instigate social events, why am I never on the receiving end?
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Well, these questions are the source of a whole load of overthinking - I'm not sure whether it's me (I hope not) or the overall university I'm at.

I think the uni has its drawbacks - being a campus in the middle of nowhere, there is not much to do. It's alright if you have a social group but if not the campus just makes you feel even more isolated.
I enjoy my course but most people on it are quite quiet and it's hard to meet them - I might get more involved with my academic society but there's only a handful of people who go from my course of about 300 people.

My accommodation in first year also played a part - my kitchen was not a very close group and very fragmented, plus I didn't get on with some of them. I am living with two of them next year but we're not super close.

I think I could be part of the problem in that I could have made even more effort to hang out with people and arrange things, but it's not like I haven't tried. I've tried out multiple societies, arranged nights out and still feel a lack of connection. Also, it always feels like I have to be the one to instigate social events, why am I never on the receiving end?
The point is you get one gift year, so if the problem is the uni you could restart elsewhere or seek a transfer.
If it is not the uni, then it could be luck, but also come down to your strategy at making friends and your social skills. In that case you need to change your strategy, learn how to make friends, improve social skills and make more of an effort. One of the problems is, this becomes harder as you advance years because cliques form and people are less interested in making friends. You are going to have to create more opportunities to make friends and know how to convert some of them. People who have developed social skills, make an effort and are self-confident can do this. It doesnt happen by staying in your room or failing to address the reasons why.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 1 week ago
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(Original post by 999tigger)
The point is you get one gift year, so if the problem is the uni you could restart elsewhere or seek a transfer.
If it is not the uni, then it could be luck, but also come down to your strategy at making friends and your social skills. In that case you need to change your strategy, learn how to make friends, improve social skills and make more of an effort. One of the problems is, this becomes harder as you advance years because cliques form and people are less interested in making friends. You are going to have to create more opportunities to make friends and know how to convert some of them. People who have developed social skills, make an effort and are self-confident can do this. It doesnt happen by staying in your room or failing to address the reasons why.
Yeah, that's why I am considering a double-pronged approach of restarting elsewhere and going in with a better social strategy. I feel like that could give me the best chance of making friends.
What advice would you give on better social strategy?
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999tigger
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah, that's why I am considering a double-pronged approach of restarting elsewhere and going in with a better social strategy. I feel like that could give me the best chance of making friends.
What advice would you give on better social strategy?
Know why someone would want to be friends.
Understand what you have to offer.
Gain some self-confidence and small talk
Keep making an effort.
Dont be put off by setback.
Be the solution not the problem
Get involved.
Dont forget body language.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Teenage-Gui...s=books&sr=1-2

Or the normal one if you are male.
https://www.amazon.co.uk/Friends-Inf...=books&sr=1-11
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Anonymous #2
#10
Report 1 week ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone. I've just finished my first year of university (with term 3 online). Despite really looking forward to it and enjoying my course, I have struggled to find a good social group and have felt pretty isolated and unhappy in general. Missing the last term of the year has also not helped with branching out.
I've got involved with a few societies, but I never end up hanging out with people outside official society events, and always end up back in my room alone.
Has anyone been through a similar experience? Do you have advice for how to improve things in second year?
This is pretty much me - I've finished my first year and joined societies but never really got to know anyone. I've got Aspergers/Social Anxiety and am a big introvert, so making friends is difficult unless they have similar interests to me (I do have a lot of really good online friends from around the world with similar interests, most of whom I've met up with at conventions.)

With societies, try and gain confidence bit by bit each week with the societies but don't push yourself too much. Maybe half an hour with people talking to them or joining in, then the rest of the time on your own. Then a few sessions later, an hour. An hour and a half. 2 hours. And so on. If you find it easier to talk to people online (like myself), ask if there's a social media group for the society and suggest some things you could do on them? (I'm just telling myself what to do next year, aren't I XD)

See if there's any tutor on your course you could talk to, to see if they can get you more involved in discussions/group activities, or if there's a Wellbeing/Mental Health support at the university, send them an email with your problems/what you want help with. Hopefully both of us can be a bit more social and enjoy life at Uni in the second year
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University of East Anglia UG Student Rep
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone. I've just finished my first year of university (with term 3 online). Despite really looking forward to it and enjoying my course, I have struggled to find a good social group and have felt pretty isolated and unhappy in general. Missing the last term of the year has also not helped with branching out.
I've got involved with a few societies, but I never end up hanging out with people outside official society events, and always end up back in my room alone.
Has anyone been through a similar experience? Do you have advice for how to improve things in second year?
Hi
Along with the advice others have given, do you know/ get along with anybody on your course? For me it took awhile but I ended up being friends with people mostly on my course rather than in my flat or at societies. Another thing I found helpful was being involved in quite a lot of societies and sports as it meant that even if I wasn't that close to anyone I was still spending time around people. It also meant that I made friends with the people who were in the same clubs as me (I did ballet, tap and jazz). Lastly, as someone else suggested there might be groups on campus to try and connect students.
Sophie
Last edited by University of East Anglia UG Student Rep; 1 week ago
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