Scared? to Orgasm.. Feeling deflated

Things will feel not amazing but ok at first and at some point (what I suspect to be a ‘build up’) everything all of a sudden gets horribly sensitive and it just feels like the worst feeling in the world and I just have to stop.

You've been having it since you were 14???

I’ve thought about posting this many times but I’ve never had the right words, I’ve scanned the internet for people with the same problem as me but these posts have been up to a decade old and never had any updates.

I’m 23 and have been sexually active for 9 years, I’ve been in trusting relationships and have had other sexual relations, I’m not new to sex.

My problem is I’ve never had an orgasm. I don’t think I physically can’t have one, I think I am scared.

I have found this bit hard to explain, I’ve tried sex, oral, and many many different sex toys.

Things will feel not amazing but ok at first and at some point (what I suspect to be a ‘build up’) everything all of a sudden gets horribly sensitive and it just feels like the worst feeling in the world and I just have to stop. I can’t seem to get over this, I don’t know how long this horrible intense feeling has to go on for and the whole situation has frustrated me over the years but recently it has been really upsetting me.

I’ve tried other forms of masturbation, toys and fingers etc and it’s just not working.

Can anyone offer any advice/help? I’m really embarrassed about this but just don’t know what to do anymore. If this is a build up how long do these usually last and how can I get my body to accept it’s supposed to be nice and not a horrible feeling?

Thank you x

You've been having it since you were 14???

You've been having it since you were 14???

Hi Hannah I put sexually active since then as I was raped the first time when I was 14, I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 16 x

Oh I'm so sorry about that

Hi Hannah I put sexually active since then as I was raped the first time when I was 14, I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 16 x

No it’s ok, it was a long time ago now and I’ve come to terms with it, it doesn’t upset me and hasn’t for a while just wanted to be honest in my post, I was ‘properly sexually active’ 16 and onwards, but thank you x

It sounds like you've been having orgasms. Can you describe what you mean by it feeling horrible?

Also, do you think there's a psychological element to it, potentially linked to the rape?

Ohh I'm extremely sorry about that. You don't have to count that as losing your v card if you don't want btw, you can always count losing your v card when you consented xx

Hello thank you so much for your comment! And no I don’t think it is an orgasm because if it’s oral for example it’ll feel nice and feel pretty much the same up until one point where all of a sudden everything just feels extremely sensitive and it doesn’t feel nice at all and I’m wondering if that feeling is the build up to an orgasm I just don’t know how to get past that as it’s just such a horrible feeling, and I spent a lot of my childhood and teenage years depressed over a range of things, but the past 3 years I’ve been really good, the rape probably should have affected me more but other bad things had happened and on a scale the rape almost felt irrelevant as worse things happened if that makes sense? The problem is this intense feeling I get but I’m sure it must be part of the build up x

It sounds like you are having orgasms but instead of feeling good you feel unpleasantness, or something you don't expect to feel. Then again how people define orgasms varies. For me it feels like the best release of energy in the world, but not necessarily a 'good' feeling all of the time.

Could you describe what you mean by not nice though?

This is an obvious troll. Stop feeding them.