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    Right I am not from a well off family at all. Even now, I am working and I am unable to have a good time due to the fact that most of my money is being saved up for university.

    My brother, he is successful, making a fair amount of money etc - living abroad. He was lucky he got to where he is from my father who at the time earnt about 100k to fund him. Now, things are tough, my dads business has been non-existant for a few years, my mother is on income support - so now we are dependent on my brother to financially support us due to the lack of income coming into the house.

    The problem is that now everytime anyone challenges him, e.g. in an arguement he tends to be very arrogant to the point where he uses the financial support against us OR starts talking about topics like in such a way that it comes across as if he knows what he is talking about - challenged me on some of the things I have studied, and I know for a fact he was off on a tangent. So the only way anyone can have a relationship with him, is by taking what he says as gold may it be incredibly negative or not i.e. don't question it. For example right now things are so bad that he is unwilling to bring his daughters to our parents house because in his words "it is not upto his standard".

    When I challenge him, I am just told I am an idiot because I am not making large sums of money, and if I complain about his attitude, my parents just look at my faults and not his because they are financially dependent on him.

    Yesterday we fell out because I am doing paid commercial projects for others and not him, I have done so in the past with him, however they always turned ugly because he would expect me to work to a very tight schedule (this includes phoning me first thing in the morning or late at night i.e. work on his project 24/7), and yet even than wouldn't even use my work/or put me down. He wouldn't just let me get on with it, and so for that reason I've refused to mix family with business with him, hence just treat him as a brother. That is my value to him.
    Because he didn't approve of this, he started to use all of the financial support he has given me with my studies during term time as a reason to criticise me, or amazingly even used my birthday present as a way to attack me (my last one I did not recieve btw). To which I responded by telling him that I would do work for him for which his reply was that he didn't expect anything in return (yet happily used it against me). I also told him that he had a choice to help us out, if he was happy in not doing so, then he should feel free not to, nobody forces him - it should be sincere.

    In addition to the above, he openly demeened me because at this present moment in time he is making money and I am not (I am 22, a student, getting any industry related job that I can for small payment and forging my way into my sector; he is 34).

    Today my mother gave me an incredibly hard time, over arguing with him. Even though, the only reason why I did because I hate the sad state of affairs at home e.g. he probably can get away with murder, but we must accept it because he is making money. I just dislike the fact that he treats my parents with such disrespect, yet he would not be where he is today if they never funded him...yet he downplays it massively to the point that he can't even show the slightest consideration for their feelings by sending their grandaughters to the home he grew up in. However, for his wife its OK, every year they go and see her parents. It is frankly disgusting imo and I hate watching this situation play out and stood up for it. Now though, admittedly after the flak I am getting from both sides I just don't know why I should bother and feel incredibly alienated.

    I don't plan to ever ask him for help in the future, he is frankly a snob and never would I want to to turn out like him. Yet at the same time, I feel so incredibly helpless becuase I know in the future everything I have earnt will dry out - and going into my final year, working during term time is not really a wise thing to do. My degree is a full time job in itself. Ideally I want him to realise that people are more dynamic then their bank account, but I know this will not happen.

    Should I just grin and bare it?
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    You're a 22 year old student. I'm assuming you're in Uni now. Student funding/support? Ignore them for a while, study and sort out your own life. When you get a good job, then help fund the family.
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    Wow, your brother sounds like a knob to be honest. I think that because of the situation your family is in at the moment you've got no choice but to 'grin and bear it', they need the money and if the only way they can get by is with help from your brother then you risk making things even more tense with your parents by antagonising him. I'm sure your parents don't like his condescending attitude towards them either or that he won't bring his daughters to their home but if they rely on him for financial support I see why they might be afraid to stand their ground. Work incredibly hard in your final year and try and sort it so that in a few years time your family can rely on you and no longer need your brother's financial help then you can stick it to him and tell him to shove his money where the sun doesn't shine.
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    (Original post by Kagutsuchi)
    You're a 22 year old student. I'm assuming you're in Uni now. Student funding/support? Ignore them for a while, study and sort out your own life. When you get a good job, then help fund the family.
    I get a small grant and student loan. However, it is not enough to sustain itself during term time, considering that 1k of that goes towards accomadation, leaving the rest towards maintainence costs, which is not cheap.
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    Note: I am paying 1k at the start of each semester towards accomadation. So half of my loan goes on that alone.
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    Ask at your university about hardship funds.
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    (Original post by callum9999)
    Ask at your university about hardship funds.
    Yeah I do, £500 a semester. In short asking my bro for help is like a last resort, really is.
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    where is your dad in all of this? at the very worst he could just get a labouring job. theres ALWAYS work if you are willing.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Yeah I do, £500 a semester. In short asking my bro for help is like a last resort, really is.
    If that isn't enough can't you ask for more or are there limits?
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    Why can't your parents support themselves?
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    (Original post by Lara C.)
    where is your dad in all of this? at the very worst he could just get a labouring job. theres ALWAYS work if you are willing.
    Good question.

    I REALLY don't know what he does, seems to be on another planet tbh. It seems as though he has so much self-pride and is clinging onto his past where he had some success as a financial consultant.

    It is probably his self-pride and egotism that is stopping him from going a level down just so that he could bring some income into the house. So now he is trying to get his business back to what it was, with not much success. Predictably, my parents don't seem to have a great relationship at this present moment in time.
 
 
 
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