Guilty after eating anything 😥

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
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Over lockdown I have lost nearly 2 stone (was 12.5 now 10.5 so a perfectly healthy weight) but just recently in the last month I’ve been really worrying about my weight and the way I look. I need to run 5k, walk 5k and work out daily and punish myself after every meal. I said that I would have a day off calorie counting today, ate 1/4 of a tub of Ben and Jerry’s and the guilt I’m feeling is unimaginable. How do I get myself out of this rut of feeling sooooo guilty everytime I eat anything? It’s exhausting feeling this way.
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Pathway
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I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. Has anything set this off? I'd speak to someone you trust in person (of at all possible) and do this as soon as you can, because it sounds like the beginning of an eating disorder, or at the very least disordered eating. If you feel able to it might be worth speaking to your GP too, particularly if you have other mental health concerns so they can support you and prevent this from worsening.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
I'm really sorry you're feeling this way. Has anything set this off? I'd speak to someone you trust in person (of at all possible) and do this as soon as you can, because it sounds like the beginning of an eating disorder, or at the very least disordered eating. If you feel able to it might be worth speaking to your GP too, particularly if you have other mental health concerns so they can support you and prevent this from worsening.
Not really that I can think of, I’m just a bit of a perfectionist and even tho I understand that no body is “perfect” I can’t seem to get this idea of perfection out of my head. I had a bit of a tough year last year (sexually/emotionally abusive ex and a big house move) and this caused me to put weight on but nothing major, 4lbs at most. I’m just fixated on food, weight and calories yet when I try and chill out a bit I feel guilty and disgusting for the rest of the day. Food is becoming such a scary part of my day. Thanks, I might try that, I need to sort myself out!
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Not really that I can think of, I’m just a bit of a perfectionist and even tho I understand that no body is “perfect” I can’t seem to get this idea of perfection out of my head. I had a bit of a tough year last year (sexually/emotionally abusive ex and a big house move) and this caused me to put weight on but nothing major, 4lbs at most. I’m just fixated on food, weight and calories yet when I try and chill out a bit I feel guilty and disgusting for the rest of the day. Food is becoming such a scary part of my day. Thanks, I might try that, I need to sort myself out!
I understand, food is a stressful part of my day for various reasons (I have anorexia). Please do speak to someone soon, would recommend your GP too tbh, especially because of the abuse.

You're welcome to message me.
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Sammylou40
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I think it’s important for you to speak to a professional ASAP before this becomes a major problem and out of hand
If you don’t want to see your gp ( they are still taking appointments) then there are helplines you can ring
Please do so as soon as possible
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Pathway)
I understand, food is a stressful part of my day for various reasons (I have anorexia). Please do speak to someone soon, would recommend your GP too tbh, especially because of the abuse.

You're welcome to message me
Thank you so much, I’m not at that point yet and still have a healthy BMI so I’m not that worried about that side of things but it concerns me that I’m spiralling. The abuse was nothing major, just wondered if it might be enough to make me want to control every aspect of my eating.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Sammylou40)
I think it’s important for you to speak to a professional ASAP before this becomes a major problem and out of hand
If you don’t want to see your gp ( they are still taking appointments) then there are helplines you can ring
Please do so as soon as possible
Thanks, I will look into some sort of online help I think
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Pathway
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much, I’m not at that point yet and still have a healthy BMI so I’m not that worried about that side of things but it concerns me that I’m spiralling. The abuse was nothing major, just wondered if it might be enough to make me want to control every aspect of my eating.
BMI doesn't really mean a whole lot, you can be disordered at any weight (actually most people with an ED are at a healthy weight for context). And it can, abuse and trauma can be massive contributors to EDs and disordered eating. Try not to minimise what you went through either, abuse is abuse, doesn't matter how big or small it was, it shouldn't have happened, period. I hope you do speak to someone soon, and work up the courage to seek professional help. It's best to do this before the disordered eating really, really digs its claws in more than it is already (and it's already pretty significant imo)

Do take care.
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