Friends and Birthdays

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EJC001
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#1
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My 22nd birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks and whilst my family remembers and one friend does, the rest of my friends don't always remember.
For my 21st last year, one of my friends said they could either make me a 3D model of a sword or give me a hug. I'm not too accustomed to people touching me so I said a sword if it wasn't too much trouble. My birthday had been and gone. I asked him about it in August (not mentioning that to was supposed to be for my birthday) and he said he gave up with it a while ago. Where as another one of my friends had a birthday in Feburary and he spent over £100 on her with no misgivings.

Another one of my friends, despite having a two-day reminder when it came up in conversation, didn't even wish me a happy birthday. For the first couple of times we saw each other after my birthday he said he would make it up to me, he never did.

I can't always buy my friends presents (it depends when their birthday is and how much student finance I have left), sometimes go for a personalised card but I do at least wish them a happy birthday on social media if I can't get them anything.
I also don't know how to tell people it's my birthday in a few weeks. I don't want people to feel forced to make an effort but at the same time it would be nice if they remembered.
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Beyounce
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i wont lie, im a very petty person but then again im not that mature yet. if someone doesnt wish me a happy birthday, id simply ignore theirs haha. You should be able to talk to friends about things without feeling like you are a burden. However, this is what i would do. If you have them all on social media, instagram for example, you have a feature to do a birthday countdown. You should put that up and see who views your story. If they still dont say anything for your birthday, they are not your friends. Even wishing somebody a happy birthday online or text is not too much to expect. But at the end of the day you never know, they could surprise you! Good luck and best wishes
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EJC001
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Report Thread starter 3 days ago
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(Original post by Beyounce)
i wont lie, im a very petty person but then again im not that mature yet. if someone doesnt wish me a happy birthday, id simply ignore theirs haha. You should be able to talk to friends about things without feeling like you are a burden. However, this is what i would do. If you have them all on social media, instagram for example, you have a feature to do a birthday countdown. You should put that up and see who views your story. If they still dont say anything for your birthday, they are not your friends. Even wishing somebody a happy birthday online or text is not too much to expect. But at the end of the day you never know, they could surprise you! Good luck and best wishes
Thanks for the advice. I have Facebook, not Instagram, but Friends still get notifications on there about birthdays I think. I doubt they would surprise me, considering those two only get in contact with me outside of uni if they need help with coursework or want to ask questions. The one that said he would make me a 3D model of a sword but gave up only wished me Happy Birthday at nearly midnight with the excuse that he was at work.

But yeah, thanks for the best wishes, really appreciated.
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Anonymous #1
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Oh boohoo they forgot your birthday so what? Forget theirs and if they ask you why you haven't remembered their birthdays just tell them that they do the same thing. If they then be horrible towards you then leave them and find new friends
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EJC001
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Report Thread starter 3 days ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Oh boohoo they forgot your birthday so what? Forget theirs and if they ask you why you haven't remembered their birthdays just tell them that they do the same thing. If they then be horrible towards you then leave them and find new friends
I'm not so good at making friends. Didn't have any in primary or secondary school as well as my first two years of college. I wish them happy birthday because I want to be a good friend and don't see it as I only do it if you do it. If I resort to that, then who is the worst friend? The one that is there for their friends and remembers stuff; or the one that only does things if other people do it first.
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Anonymous #1
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Report 3 days ago
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(Original post by EJC001)
I'm not so good at making friends. Didn't have any in primary or secondary school as well as my first two years of college. I wish them happy birthday because I want to be a good friend and don't see it as I only do it if you do it. If I resort to that, then who is the worst friend? The one that is there for their friends and remembers stuff; or the one that only does things if other people do it first.
I understand what you are saying but please don't make the mistake of making/having 'fake' friends who use you. Just because you weren't good at making friends in the past doesn't mean you can't make friends now or the future
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