Anyone else really not into student life?

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Scarab
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Report Thread starter 5 days ago
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I started my degree at York last year and it's been a bit hellish to say the least. The actual course is fantastic - I don't have any complaints about the lectures or teaching (aside from the strike periods. Ah well).

I have CPTSD so I don't drink, go clubbing or really go to bars. University so far has just felt like a vacuum where I lost all sense of identity and it's just resulted in a loss of confidence and some "bad brain times" to say the least.

I have made friends with my flatmates from first year, but I have little in common with them and I spent the first year pushing myself too far to try and keep up with their lifestyles. Also ended up hiding a lot from them because I didn't really want to put my issues on them, resulting in a weird "double life" kind of scenario (apart from it was far less cool).

My course (English) does not really involve much time with other students. I really tried in my first year. My friend said I had to go to freshers week - foolishly I followed his advice, really sucked. Not going to go into it but it messed me up for a while. I also attended a lot of clubs and societies, but I've never really been good at meet and greets. Usually I just kind of adopt the shyest person in the room, but I'm the shyest person in the room! Even in groups centred on my interests, the socials are set in bars and clubs and it's difficult to meet anyone like-minded when people seem to take so little time getting to know each other. The only society I stuck with was dog society. I love dogs and dogs love me. :-)

Honestly, my idea of a good time would be living somewhere with just an inkling of privacy (student accommodation is.... strenuous) and having friends over. If anyone else likes that idea and happens to be at York, say hi!

So yeah, strike a chord with anyone? Hope you're all having a nice day. :-)
Last edited by Scarab; 5 days ago
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Anonymous #1
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I don't drink either and I understand the part about not going out etc. I did in first year for 3 months and it was okay but got boring and repetitive really fast! And then I had a seizure in a nightclub and never went again!

"I have made friends with my flatmates from first year, but I have little in common with them and I spent the first year pushing myself too far to try and keep up with their lifestyles. Also ended up hiding a lot from them because I didn't really want to put my issues on them, resulting in a weird "double life" kind of scenario (apart from it was far less cool)."
-same! Well, one of my flatmates turned out to be a nightmare (drama student) who broke down my door, would hide others' belongings and blame it on me! I ended up hiding from them too!

" Usually I just kind of adopt the shyest person in the room,"- again, same! Well, tbh at the start I was really talkative-there's something about people not knowing you and you can be whoever you want/yourself but then people were really dominating so I ended up not really speaking anymore! Ah, I know how hard that is. And people say they don't care that you don't drink but there's still a divide! You can literally feel it! I was lucky enough to make friends on my course who also didn't drink/were mature/ two of them drunk actually but really didn't care because they were 2 and 4 years older than me. The difference in conversation between my high school friends (who only ever talked about getting drunk) compared to my time spent with my new friends was like chalk and cheese! Yeah two of them drank (1 more so than the other-would go out with friends etc) but we would have actual conversations! I feel like you would have fit in really well with our group!

I also did English but mine was a double degree but I was lucky-I had great course mates, same for my MA, they're great but other people on other courses -the drink culture is very strong in Cardiff and I get you
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Scarab
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't drink either and I understand the part about not going out etc. I did in first year for 3 months and it was okay but got boring and repetitive really fast! And then I had a seizure in a nightclub and never went again!

"I have made friends with my flatmates from first year, but I have little in common with them and I spent the first year pushing myself too far to try and keep up with their lifestyles. Also ended up hiding a lot from them because I didn't really want to put my issues on them, resulting in a weird "double life" kind of scenario (apart from it was far less cool)."
-same! Well, one of my flatmates turned out to be a nightmare (drama student) who broke down my door, would hide others' belongings and blame it on me! I ended up hiding from them too!

" Usually I just kind of adopt the shyest person in the room,"- again, same! Well, tbh at the start I was really talkative-there's something about people not knowing you and you can be whoever you want/yourself but then people were really dominating so I ended up not really speaking anymore! Ah, I know how hard that is. And people say they don't care that you don't drink but there's still a divide! You can literally feel it! I was lucky enough to make friends on my course who also didn't drink/were mature/ two of them drunk actually but really didn't care because they were 2 and 4 years older than me. The difference in conversation between my high school friends (who only ever talked about getting drunk) compared to my time spent with my new friends was like chalk and cheese! Yeah two of them drank (1 more so than the other-would go out with friends etc) but we would have actual conversations! I feel like you would have fit in really well with our group!

I also did English but mine was a double degree but I was lucky-I had great course mates, same for my MA, they're great but other people on other courses -the drink culture is very strong in Cardiff and I get you
Nice to see someone relates! I'm glad you were able to find some like-minded coursemates. Thanks for replying
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Scarab)
Nice to see someone relates! I'm glad you were able to find some like-minded coursemates. Thanks for replying
I love dogs too! Are we the same person? haha
Is there anyone on your course you speak with a lot or even a little? Are you currently living off campus with other students?
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Scarab
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I love dogs too! Are we the same person? haha
Is there anyone on your course you speak with a lot or even a little? Are you currently living off campus with other students?
Who doesn't?!
I'm currently with my parents for the summer. I'm moving into student accommodation on campus for my second year as well. I got on with my first year flatmates but they split into course groups for housing and I didn't want to move in with people I didn't know.
I've spoken with some people on my course a little, but there's no meeting outside contact hours and our groups change every term. The only collaborative project was meant to happen in third term, but obviously that didn't go to plan! I also didn't live with any English students, so I don't really know any that well. Hopefully in second year I might get on with my flatmates / meet some people in my course, here's hoping
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