Relationship help needed. My feelings.

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 5 days ago
#1
I'm not quite sure how to explain this but I'm going to try my best.

I've really liked this person... let's call this person, person A for a long time. And I have found it so hard to break contact with person A. I've always thought about person A and just wished Person A would like me the say way. But I know person A does not. They view me as a friend, I guess otherwise we wouldn't be in touch. Person A... I love. But obviously they don't feel the same way about me. I do not know why this feeling has lasted such a long long time. When person A texts me, I get butterflies and so happy and wish I could forever keep person A in my life. I automatically wish person A was present with me, rather than behind a screen, texting.

Now, person B I have got engaged to due to societal and family pressure. I would like to try and make it work out with person B, but I cannot stop thinking about person A and texting person A, my feelings are really not in the right place.
I do sometimes feel person A at times does get annoyed/irritated with me... but never says to me. At the same time I feel terrible for Person B (who believes i feel the same way about them as they do about me).

I'm not sure what to do.
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Anonymous #2
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Report 5 days ago
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Just my opinion, but I think you should try and move on from both of them. Person A doesn't love you, but you love them. It's not right or fair to be with someone while you love someone else. Person B loves you, but you don't love them. They will eventually find out. This is why I think you should not be in a relationship with either.

So if you stay with person B, you have to lie everyday, and pretend to love them. How long can you keep this up for? For the rest of your life? No. It will inevitably come out and the relationship would probably end. Or you tell person B sooner, and you don't waste either of your time. Trust me, person B would rather know you don't love them than being lied to. It's even worse because you love someone else.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Just my opinion, but I think you should try and move on from both of them. Person A doesn't love you, but you love them. It's not right or fair to be with someone while you love someone else. Person B loves you, but you don't love them. They will eventually find out. This is why I think you should not be in a relationship with either.

So if you stay with person B, you have to lie everyday, and pretend to love them. How long can you keep this up for? For the rest of your life? No. It will inevitably come out and the relationship would probably end. Or you tell person B sooner, and you don't waste either of your time. Trust me, person B would rather know you don't love them than being lied to. It's even worse because you love someone else.
I really wanted to not be in any relationship but my family pressured me to get engaged and found me person B whom they knew liked me. And I feel terrible for person B because I dont feel the same way and it was all due to society and family pressure. But I cannot tell person B that because then my family wouldn't be happy.

However, I have told person A recently about my engagement to person B. I wanted to see what Person A had to say. Person A said to me "I hope that whatever you end up doing and whatever you choose to do that you find peace with it and that you find happiness with it".
Person A knew the position I'm in but did now know that I liked them. Instead I claimed I liked Person C. Because i couldn't risk telling person A i liked them otherwise it would risk our friendship.

What did person A, in your opinion mean when they said that? Do you think person A cares about me?
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 5 days ago
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Bumpz
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Anonymous #1
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nhsia
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Report 4 days ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I really wanted to not be in any relationship but my family pressured me to get engaged and found me person B whom they knew liked me. And I feel terrible for person B because I dont feel the same way and it was all due to society and family pressure. But I cannot tell person B that because then my family wouldn't be happy.

However, I have told person A recently about my engagement to person B. I wanted to see what Person A had to say. Person A said to me "I hope that whatever you end up doing and whatever you choose to do that you find peace with it and that you find happiness with it".
Person A knew the position I'm in but did now know that I liked them. Instead I claimed I liked Person C. Because i couldn't risk telling person A i liked them otherwise it would risk our friendship.

What did person A, in your opinion mean when they said that? Do you think person A cares about me?
Considering you've already reached the point of getting engaged or married, I think the first thing you need to do is be straight up with Person A. Tell him that you like him because it literally goes one of two ways; either he likes you back and admits it or he doesn't like you back. & yeah it may cost your friendship but wouldn't you rather find out for sure that there is no potential with him than assume? Because if he doesn't like you back and there is no potential, you literally have to stop talking to him at some point anyway for the sake of getting over him or for the sake of moving on with your life and getting married to someone else who might obviously not want you to be speaking to him (Person A).

If you find that Person A does like you back, then I think you just need to be straight up with Person B about how you feel. As much as it may hurt him, no one is worth being lied to like that & tell him you felt pressured to say yes- i'm sure he will understand. As far as your family is concerned, not to be rude but you're going to be spending the rest of your life with that person, not your family so you'd rather it be someone you're happy with than someone they're happy with.

If you confirm though that Person A doesn't like you back, then you need to move on and perhaps give Person B a chance. Get to know him better and spend time with him often and see if you catch any feelings for him or if you start to feel happy/comfortable around him. But maybe let him know first that you aren't really into him but you are willing to try and like him. Be honest about your feelings because it'd be easier for him to understand then if after a while of trying, you still don't catch feelings for him.

But you need to clear the air with Person A first about how you like him and depending on his answer, you should decide what to do with Person B.
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