Not sure how to feel...

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 days ago
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Basically, for some backstory I'm gay but I've not told many people yet but I am in the process of coming out before I get to sixth form (in September) so I can finally be honest with myself and others from the beginning.. Around 10 people know so far..

However, yesterday I was told by a friend who has known for a while (I told her in March) that she has actually known for over a year as a friend I once really trusted told her and 2 others the day after I came out despite acting like she was completely loyal + trustworthy.. One of the people she told is also a close friend who I came out to in March as well but the other I wasn't really planning on telling tbh (not close enough to talk often but if it was ever brought up I would say).. Now the problem is that I don't know how to feel and it's confusing me - I'm not mad at my friends who were told for not letting me know sooner because I understand they wanted to respect when I felt ready to tell them but at the same time there is something niggling me and idk what it is... I'm also unsure whether to confront the person who essentially outed me or not since now it doesn't bother me but then if I'd found out it would've messed me up a lot :/, especially since I haven't talked to her for a while...

Also, today, a random person I never talk to messaged me saying "well done I heard you came out I'm proud of ya" even though I haven't fully yet, meaning someone I trusted has broken it which is scaring me.. I'm unsure if it's the same person who's telling everyone which again makes me confused about whether I should say something to her or not. I doubt it is though cos when she did out me it was to people who were her close friends and it was over a year ago and shes not close at all to this person so I couldn't see a reason for her to.. Like I'm not completely terrified or anything and IDC that she knows but I hate being talked about without knowing (maybe that's my problem in all of this) and I'm wondering how many people know. Also, when I asked her she said she "forgot" who told her so I think she's trying to hide how she found out..

What do you think my solution to all this should be - should I confront the person who said something years ago or should I just leave it and get on with my life, since I was planning on telling others anyway..?

Lol this makes no sense I'm kinda just rambling but everyone I can actually trust is asleep and my thoughts won't stop going round and round if I don't tell someone and TSR has always been a great community when I've had wobbles before

Thanks

BTW, I feel like saying "out me" is a bit harsh cos I feel like that's more for if they tell EVERYONE but it's the only terminology that really works :/ even if that hasn't happened (hopefully)
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 days ago
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BTW, when I came out to that first person years ago I was very unsure with my sexuality and I expressed that to her and she basically just blurted it out to her friends without a thought for how I would feel if it got back to me :/
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LovelyMrFox
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:hugs:
Same thing happened to me a while ago when I came out to a few select people. I think you should ask this person how many people they told, and then tell the person that it wasnt okay what they did. Dont attack them for it, just calmly explain that outing people isnt acceptable, and how it hurt you. Then just get along with your life, as theres no point in getting involved in drama.
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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 days ago
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
:hugs:
Same thing happened to me a while ago when I came out to a few select people. I think you should ask this person how many people they told, and then tell the person that it wasnt okay what they did. Dont attack them for it, just calmly explain that outing people isnt acceptable, and how it hurt you. Then just get along with your life, as theres no point in getting involved in drama.
:hugs: (I needed a hug lol, even it is virtual! :P)

Thank you, I think I will do that but I also have a feeling that her reply will just be something like "I'm soo sorry I know I betrayed you blah blah" like kinda just to shut me up or something (like trying to say what she thinks I want to hear)... I do overthink though so I've thought of pretty much every bad scenario under the sun so it probably won't go that way! At the same time, I know it is good for me to quickly get closure and move on so I can trust people again cos it has made me think twice about sharing things with my friends .

Drama is too tiring for me! :lol: and I've got homework to be doing!

Thanks again, the wonderful TSR community has once again helped me decide what to do! 😂
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