I am SO scared I won't make any friends at uni (worst social skills)

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 3 days ago
#1
My social skills are incredibly poor
I have been bullied nearly my whole life by girls and even guys.
I was a loner throughout alot of school years
None of the girls ever wanted to sit with me, even in sixth form
I can't keep a single conversation :/

i am dreading it for uni, i feel i wont make any friends esp since my course is predominantly male (CS) and I'm female. Plus i feel like people will take advantage of me and pick on me

any tips? what do i do on the first day of uni to make friends? or any tips that will make it easier for me? im living at home which makes it even more difficult
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Bexjw
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If it’s any help/ reassurance at all, I attended a lecture (compulsory and quite large attendees) and simply sat down in an empty row of seats. Moments later a girl came and sat next to me and asked if I would mind and we got chatting.

It’s daunting to be somewhere where you know no one and feel alone.

Try and join some online/ social media groups for your year/course/uni to get to know people before hand. My cohort had a Facebook page set up before we started to link in with people on the course or with similar interests.

You could also try joining a club or society if you have any hobbies or want to make friends through them. They’re usually a good start.

All in all, everyone is in the same boat. Take the opportunity to introduce yourself to someone and step out of your comfort zone a bit. It usually happens quite naturally.
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GabiAbi84
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I’d also say as well that, especially on the first day make a conscious effort to make some eye contact and say hi- it’s very easy to slip into a rhythm of hiding away if you do it on day one, making it harder to change your mindset afterwards.
But for sure try to see if there are groups on FB available or if there are any casual mixers/meet-ups before hand. Depending on the student mix there will surely be others staying at home, and others who know no one else.
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Bbles
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As someone with terrible social skills myself, first year of uni was fine.
Everyone is in the same boat and desperate to make friends, so you will either get approached in societies, lectures of just hanging around, or approaching others will be MUCH simpler. I would say take advantage of the first few weeks as much as you can. It’s not impossible to make friends beyond this point, but does get a little harder as everyone is establishing friend groups.

I did not live at home, but I didn’t live in uni accommodation either and was flat sharing with complete rando’s who ranged from either 25-50 years old. But that never changed my uni situation; I managed to talk to a lot of people and make friends.

It’s so easy to make friends with people in first year, I wouldn’t say that’s the problem. My biggest piece of advice for you as a third year is to make sure that you’re befriending people who you’re actually compatible with. I made the mistake of making friends with a group of girls who after the first month or so, I realised I did not like very much. We had completely different interests and mindsets and it was this friend group that really dampened my first year experience. Best thing I can suggest is looking for people in societies.
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Anonymous #2
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As someone with the same problems, I hate to say but uni was not much better me I dreaded group coursework and was mostly outcasted.
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Anonymous #3
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You're a girl doing Computer Science. All of the boys will want to be your 'friend'.
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