My friends don't like me because I'm richer than them

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Anonymous #1
#21
Report Thread starter 4 days ago
#21
(Original post by 999tigger)
I think you have an expectation that some of these friends were better friends than they actually were.
You should expect to lose a % from school and uni.
Maybe it is the money or maybe its just you?
Contact the ones who might be of interest and see if theres any positivity, if not find new friends.
Possibly for some of them, but not all of them, certainly not after having known them for 7 years or living with them for 3 years.
It may be me, but I don't think I have changed so dramatically since graduating.
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999tigger
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#22
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#22
(Original post by Anonymous)
Possibly for some of them, but not all of them, certainly not after having known them for 7 years or living with them for 3 years.
It may be me, but I don't think I have changed so dramatically since graduating.
I dont know the personalities, Choose the ones you ant to connect with and see what happens.
Meet new people and see what happens.
Keep the money side to yourself.
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Anonymous #1
#23
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#23
(Original post by 999tigger)
I dont know the personalities, Choose the ones you ant to connect with and see what happens.
Meet new people and see what happens.
Keep the money side to yourself.
The final sentence is something I've learnt the hard way round. I'm now very vague about what I do for a living or who I work for, where I live etc when I meet new people.
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999tigger
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#24
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#24
(Original post by Anonymous)
The final sentence is something I've learnt the hard way round. I'm now very vague about what I do for a living or who I work for, where I live etc when I meet new people.
Imo you focus on the money side but I bet its a number of factors for each group.
In any event as you arent after wealthy people just genuine friends, then you can practice a way of being yourself. not too secretive, but stay off money, especially at your age. That way they can take or leave you for you. Same goes for women as well.
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Anonymous #1
#25
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#25
(Original post by 999tigger)
Imo you focus on the money side but I bet its a number of factors for each group.
In any event as you arent after wealthy people just genuine friends, then you can practice a way of being yourself. not too secretive, but stay off money, especially at your age. That way they can take or leave you for you. Same goes for women as well.
To be clear, I am referring to school and university friends who naturally know what I do for a living and what I'm up to. I don't initiate conversations regarding money nor do I intend to do so in the future.

Thankfully, I met my girlfriend while at work and so I haven't had to worry over the dynamics of our relationship with regards to money.
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mahmoodjr
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#26
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#26
(Original post by 999tigger)
Imo you focus on the money side but I bet its a number of factors for each group.
In any event as you arent after wealthy people just genuine friends, then you can practice a way of being yourself. not too secretive, but stay off money, especially at your age. That way they can take or leave you for you. Same goes for women as well.
The OP is not mentioning money to people who he/she doesn't know. Many people apply for roles and prepare for interviews with their friends while at uni. I ask my friends for advice regarding career decisions or investment decisions.
I think it's beyond a threshold where it's better that you don't tell your friends about your personal circumstances. Just look at the plight of the average lottery winner.
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Moonbow
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#27
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#27
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'll start off with a little about me. I grew up in a working class family with little dispensable income and hardly any luxuries. I studied maths at Oxbridge and joined a start-up hedge fund (our fund is an entirely algorithmic fund and I'm much more of a nerdy data scientist than a corporate city boy). Our fund was acquired by a large institutional investor and early joiners of the start-up were granted sizable stock options. In short, I'm 24 and earn 250k a year. I'm grateful for this but I'm clearly not part of the super rich.

I went to a comprehensive school in an area with great social economic problems. Prior to sixth form and university applications I had a very good group of friends. But as we progressed, my friends started speaking to me differently even during teenage years. I was no longer invited to social events and excluded from WhatsApp groups etc. I have never taken this personally, as unpleasant as it is, as I appreciate their plight. I understand that perhaps they find me unrelatable, pretentious even. In addition, we can't be held accountable for everything we do in our teenage years.

I later went to Oxbridge where again I made many friends through sports and societies. Many of their parents' net worth was more than a factor of ten greater than our family net worth. They were fairly privelliged, well read, well connected. But since graduating, I'm experiencing some of the same ostracizing behaviour from my university piers that I had previously experienced at school. Unlike my school friends, I sense that this is more deliberate - my university friends can't possibly feel so alienated by money, and know my character well enough. It has really surprised me.

I should add that I'm not very materialistic - I still have an iphone 8, MacBook 2017, I don't wear designer clothes and I don't own a car. My only material possessions are property that I have purchased as investments and I've travelled extensively in 2018/2019 because I couldn't afford to do so when I was younger. I don't think I have an arrogant attitude, or at the least, I haven't developed one since leaving university. I'm still realatively shy and quietly spoken.

My dilemma is that out of no choice of my own, my friends are now almost exclusively wealthy international students or financiers. To what extent should I try and reach out to my formative friends when they repeatedly and preemptively are disrespectful towards me. Does anyone have any advice for me? Has anyone experienced this before? Is it typical that friends feel intimidated or alienated by someone slightly wealthier than them?
Damn you’ve got your life sorted there mate 😱
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999tigger
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#28
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#28
(Original post by mahmoodjr)
The OP is not mentioning money to people who he/she doesn't know. Many people apply for roles and prepare for interviews with their friends while at uni. I ask my friends for advice regarding career decisions or investment decisions.
I think it's beyond a threshold where it's better that you don't tell your friends about your personal circumstances. Just look at the plight of the average lottery winner.
Not sure why you are addressing me? You seem to have a better grip on the OP than I do, so ok.
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mahmoodjr
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#29
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#29
(Original post by 999tigger)
Not sure why you are addressing me? You seem to have a better grip on the OP than I do, so ok.
Don't take it personally. I replied to your post in which you advised the OP to "stay off money" which is something he isnt doing anyway. The point I was making was that it is inevitable that your friends will have a good picture of what you might be earning relative to them. I don't seem to have a grip over the OP, I merely seek to advise him based purely on anecdotal evidence - I know what it feels like to be in this situation.
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mahmoodjr
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#30
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#30
(Original post by Moonbow)
Damn you’ve got your life sorted there mate 😱
That's my first thought. I would disregard any childish moves from 'friends'
Last edited by mahmoodjr; 3 days ago
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