Argued with a friend regarding feminism. Please read it and give your views

Watch
mnaureen
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#1
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#1
So I was simply having fun with a male friend in a whatsapp group and he started making memes on some of us females (nothing personal there) and in return we did the same but then another male friend of mine comes in between and says the words “oh look dude! They are showing their pseudo feminism by coming together and attacking you!” Which was something out of the blue and I suddenly became very angry at both of them because they seem to make fun of feminism very often plus there was no point in bringing feminism into this picture. There was an argument between us females and those two guys because we were legit offended and I had to give up on the argument because my friend didn’t even seem to grasp the point I was putting. What do you guys think about this? I was a part of the argument and I want someone from the outside to tell me whether I was actually at fault there.
2
reply
JWatch
Badges: 10
Rep:
?
#2
Report 2 weeks ago
#2
It seems like they were taking the piss rather than being genuinely offended.
1
reply
Liviy.Jonas18
Badges: 15
Rep:
?
#3
Report 2 weeks ago
#3
I can see where you’re coming from but I don’t think it was his intent to diss the whole movement of feminism. I think he walk also poking fun at the extreme side of feminism that people like to dump on. But if it really bothered you just tell them next time not to bring feminism into the mix again.
1
reply
wastedcuriosity
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#4
Report 2 weeks ago
#4
Seemed like he was just messing around
1
reply
DiddyDec
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#5
Report 2 weeks ago
#5
Sounds like you couldn't take a joke.
1
reply
mnaureen
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#6
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#6
Peopl
(Original post by wastedcuriosity)
Seemed like he was just messing around
No he wasn’t! He is someone who usually speaks against pseudo feminism and that is understood, I myself do that. but now he has come to a point where literally every feminist looks likes a pseudo feminist to him and he calls everyone out on social media. I can assure you he wasn’t messing around at this point
0
reply
mnaureen
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#7
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#7
(Original post by DiddyDec)
Sounds like you couldn't take a joke.
It wasn’t a joke! And initially I was calm and I clearly said that there is no need of bringing feminism everywhere but they kept on talking about it more. And yes I might be wrong but I wasn’t the only one in the group who was offended.
0
reply
DiddyDec
Badges: 19
Rep:
?
#8
Report 2 weeks ago
#8
(Original post by mnaureen)
It wasn’t a joke! And initially I was calm and I clearly said that there is no need of bringing feminism everywhere but they kept on talking about it more. And yes I might be wrong but I wasn’t the only one in the group who was offended.
It is your choice to take offence.
0
reply
chloenix
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#9
Report 2 weeks ago
#9
You were rightly offended in my opinion.
A lot of boys I know often make fun of feminism (probably due to lack of education and misconception), which can be really frustrating, especially when feminism can be a personal and quite sensitive topics for a lot of women and men. Also, when you argued with him, what did he say? Did he say 'I was only joking I support feminism really' or did he deflect?
He might be joking, but if he genuinely doesn't support feminism, it's a bit of a red flag to be honest. You should send him a message, explaining why exactly you were offended, being polite and nice.
1
reply
mnaureen
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#10
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#10
(Original post by chloenix)
You were rightly offended in my opinion.
A lot of boys I know often make fun of feminism (probably due to lack of education and misconception), which can be really frustrating, especially when feminism can be a personal and quite sensitive topics for a lot of women and men. Also, when you argued with him, what did he say? Did he say 'I was only joking I support feminism really' or did he deflect?
He might be joking, but if he genuinely doesn't support feminism, it's a bit of a red flag to be honest. You should send him a message, explaining why exactly you were offended, being polite and nice.
Tbh, initially I used to think he is against pseudo feminism which I myself am but recently I have realised that he has this weird behaviour when we are talking about any female related issue. And no! He didn’t say he was joking and that is the reason I got offended, he tried to make us feel bad for getting mad and kept on talking about how feminist is like this and that. I actually had a problem with the fact that they were the ones who brought it up by saying what they did in the first place and then they were trying to make it seem as if we started the entire thing.
0
reply
chloenix
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#11
Report 2 weeks ago
#11
(Original post by mnaureen)
Tbh, initially I used to think he is against pseudo feminism which I myself am but recently I have realised that he has this weird behaviour when we are talking about any female related issue. And no! He didn’t say he was joking and that is the reason I got offended, he tried to make us feel bad for getting mad and kept on talking about how feminist is like this and that. I actually had a problem with the fact that they were the ones who brought it up by saying what they did in the first place and then they were trying to make it seem as if we started the entire thing.
I completely understand why you are offended, I would be, even reading about this frustrates me. Any true feminist is against pseudo feminism (because that's contradictory to the concept of the feminist movement), and so it's absurd for him to generalise the entire movement like that.
You are completely in your right to be offended and to argue back to him. The thing is with these types of people is that they are usually incredibly stubborn and do not listen to a word you say, so it might be a waste of breath arguing with him, I doubt he'll ever agree with you.
You might want to rethink on if you really want these boys as friends. Obviously it's entirely your choice but they sound really bigoted if I'm being honest.
0
reply
mnaureen
Badges: 14
Rep:
?
#12
Report Thread starter 2 weeks ago
#12
(Original post by chloenix)
I completely understand why you are offended, I would be, even reading about this frustrates me. Any true feminist is against pseudo feminism (because that's contradictory to the concept of the feminist movement), and so it's absurd for him to generalise the entire movement like that.
You are completely in your right to be offended and to argue back to him. The thing is with these types of people is that they are usually incredibly stubborn and do not listen to a word you say, so it might be a waste of breath arguing with him, I doubt he'll ever agree with you.
You might want to rethink on if you really want these boys as friends. Obviously it's entirely your choice but they sound really bigoted if I'm being honest.
That is why I gave up. He couldn’t understand my point so I didn’t feel like there was a point in going on with the argument. But me saying that I wouldn’t argue anymore made him feel like I didn’t have anything else to say about it and that is why I was giving up and in his words he wrote that he won the argument.
0
reply
chloenix
Badges: 18
Rep:
?
#13
Report 2 weeks ago
#13
(Original post by mnaureen)
That is why I gave up. He couldn’t understand my point so I didn’t feel like there was a point in going on with the argument. But me saying that I wouldn’t argue anymore made him feel like I didn’t have anything else to say about it and that is why I was giving up and in his words he wrote that he won the argument.
I think you should bring it up to him in private tonight. Write a long paragraph and explain why you think his behaviour was offensive. If he's a good friend he'll understand just how much he upset you and try to listen to your concerns rather than argue.
1
reply
gjd800
Badges: 20
Rep:
?
#14
Report 2 weeks ago
#14
Challenge him to a no-holds-barred ladder match
0
reply
X

Quick Reply

Attached files
Write a reply...
Reply
new posts
Back
to top
Latest
My Feed

See more of what you like on
The Student Room

You can personalise what you see on TSR. Tell us a little about yourself to get started.

Personalise

How would you want Freshers' Fairs to work this year?

Completely online (9)
14.52%
A mix of in-person and online options (9)
14.52%
As many in-person events as is safe to do (38)
61.29%
I don't plan on attending a Freshers' Fair (6)
9.68%

Watched Threads

View All