Black tie for females who hate dresses and skirts?

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Cucumber Coconu
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I have an unconditional offer for Cambridge to start this October, and I'm really anxious about formal wear. I absolutely hate showing skin or my body or even my feet (I am skinny and people say I have a nice body but idk, I'm just really anxious about it). My college have told me that they'll be a welcome formal in black tie, and I am now really worried about what to wear. I purposely chose a college that doesn't have a lot of formals because of this, and I don't want people to judge me or instantly assume I'm a lesbian if I wear a suit (I know that's not a bad thing at all but I've had some mean comments about it in the past so it stresses me out). Is it quite common for girls to wear suits or other things to formals? And does anyone have any recommendations of what to wear?

Thanks so much, from an anxious student.
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Slash_bae
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Hi, I don't know about what people wear at formals- sorry!
If you get a nice pair of black trousers (fitted and tapered) and a jacket, but wear it with a more feminine blouse, if you wear a more feminine blouse as well as some nice accessories (jewellery) you can make the suit look feminine af! Also make sure to wear with heels.
My main idea is that you wear a nice jumpsuit, obviously it needs to be smart, but if you wear it with jewellery and a jacket- you can look bomb af! (And way more feminine than a suit would).
https://www.asos.com/asos-design/aso...uery=&cid=7618
https://www.asos.com/asos-design/aso...ery=&cid=20983
Maybe if you wore a black jumpsuit, wear a coloured or patterned jacket with it x
Good luck ^-^
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Reality Check
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(Original post by Cucumber Coconu)
I have an unconditional offer for Cambridge to start this October, and I'm really anxious about formal wear. I absolutely hate showing skin or my body or even my feet (I am skinny and people say I have a nice body but idk, I'm just really anxious about it). My college have told me that they'll be a welcome formal in black tie, and I am now really worried about what to wear. I purposely chose a college that doesn't have a lot of formals because of this, and I don't want people to judge me or instantly assume I'm a lesbian if I wear a suit (I know that's not a bad thing at all but I've had some mean comments about it in the past so it stresses me out). Is it quite common for girls to wear suits or other things to formals? And does anyone have any recommendations of what to wear?

Thanks so much, from an anxious student.
Please don't stress about this. No-one will be judging what you wear, and it's not something you should fret unduly about . You'll be wearing a gown anyway, and that will cover the majority of your clothes!

If you want to wear a suit, then wear a suit: I don't think they'll kick you out for it. Is that actually what you want to wear, or do you want to wear a dress but aren't sure what sort to choose?
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Peterhouse Admissions
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(Original post by Cucumber Coconu)
I have an unconditional offer for Cambridge to start this October, and I'm really anxious about formal wear. I absolutely hate showing skin or my body or even my feet (I am skinny and people say I have a nice body but idk, I'm just really anxious about it). My college have told me that they'll be a welcome formal in black tie, and I am now really worried about what to wear. I purposely chose a college that doesn't have a lot of formals because of this, and I don't want people to judge me or instantly assume I'm a lesbian if I wear a suit (I know that's not a bad thing at all but I've had some mean comments about it in the past so it stresses me out). Is it quite common for girls to wear suits or other things to formals? And does anyone have any recommendations of what to wear?

Thanks so much, from an anxious student.
Hi there! You can absolutely wear a suit if you want to and you can make it look as feminine or not as you like. I think Slash_bae's suggestion of a jumpsuit would work well, certainly for balls etc. Black tights are also your friend! As Reality Check has pointed out, you'll be wearing a gown which will cover to at least your knees (depending how tall you are - if you're small it'll be nearly floor-length) and is big and floaty, so won't highlight your figure, if that's something you're worried about.

Over the summer, you might want to try some outfits you already have or order some things online to try on (you can return if necessary) to see what you'd feel most comfortable in. Please don't let this stress you out - as long as you're smart and comply with any further dress codes (my undergrad College told us we had to wear black and white for our matriculation photograph to make us all look the same, but I don't think stuff like this is very common), no one will judge what you on what you wear. If they do, then it's probably a good sign that they're not the sort of people you'd want to be friends with anyway.
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Cucumber Coconu
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(Original post by Slash_bae)
Hi, I don't know about what people wear at formals- sorry!
If you get a nice pair of black trousers (fitted and tapered) and a jacket, but wear it with a more feminine blouse, if you wear a more feminine blouse as well as some nice accessories (jewellery) you can make the suit look feminine af! Also make sure to wear with heels.
My main idea is that you wear a nice jumpsuit, obviously it needs to be smart, but if you wear it with jewellery and a jacket- you can look bomb af! (And way more feminine than a suit would).
https://www.asos.com/asos-design/aso...uery=&cid=7618
https://www.asos.com/asos-design/aso...ery=&cid=20983
Maybe if you wore a black jumpsuit, wear a coloured or patterned jacket with it x
Good luck ^-^
Thank you so much - these are so nice, I really appreciate it!

(Original post by Reality Check)
Please don't stress about this. No-one will be judging what you wear, and it's not something you should fret unduly about . You'll be wearing a gown anyway, and that will cover the majority of your clothes!

If you want to wear a suit, then wear a suit: I don't think they'll kick you out for it. Is that actually what you want to wear, or do you want to wear a dress but aren't sure what sort to choose?
I would prefer to wear a suit, good to hear that the gown covers it up, though. Thank you

(Original post by Peterhouse Admissions)
Hi there! You can absolutely wear a suit if you want to and you can make it look as feminine or not as you like. I think Slash_bae's suggestion of a jumpsuit would work well, certainly for balls etc. Black tights are also your friend! As Reality Check has pointed out, you'll be wearing a gown which will cover to at least your knees (depending how tall you are - if you're small it'll be nearly floor-length) and is big and floaty, so won't highlight your figure, if that's something you're worried about.

Over the summer, you might want to try some outfits you already have or order some things online to try on (you can return if necessary) to see what you'd feel most comfortable in. Please don't let this stress you out - as long as you're smart and comply with any further dress codes (my undergrad College told us we had to wear black and white for our matriculation photograph to make us all look the same, but I don't think stuff like this is very common), no one will judge what you on what you wear. If they do, then it's probably a good sign that they're not the sort of people you'd want to be friends with anyway.
Thanks so much for your kind response - I really appreciate the advice and I think I'm going to try some outfits over the summer like you said. I guess it's weirdly reassuring that this year there won't be that many formal events for me. Thanks again
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Peterhouse Admissions
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(Original post by Cucumber Coconu)
Thank you so much - these are so nice, I really appreciate it!



I would prefer to wear a suit, good to hear that the gown covers it up, though. Thank you



Thanks so much for your kind response - I really appreciate the advice and I think I'm going to try some outfits over the summer like you said. I guess it's weirdly reassuring that this year there won't be that many formal events for me. Thanks again
One more thing - there are very few formal events which are compulsory. With the exception of matriculation and graduation, I can't think of any. Those it the middle will be optional and standard formals (and even May Balls/June Events) tend to be much more relaxed about dress codes. Your standard formal isn't black tie, so you could wear smart trousers and a blouse with your gown, no bother.
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