Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I've always focused on my studies and never went out with my close school mates until uni. After uni started I started feeling very depressed and since I had more free time available, the depression was getting worse and then I decided to join societies and make new friends.

I did make 2 friends and hung out with them . Those two friends knew each other for a long time and hanging out with them helped with my depression and it got better to a point where I didn't have it anymore. It's been 3 years since I've known them now and I found out more about their true character: they always gossip about people and judge people a lot which is something I dont like. Even when they had fights between them two, they always came to me and said bad stuff about each other to me which really did shock me because they were very close and chatting **** about each other to me is not something they should have done. Once I saw a message from one of their phones where one of them was saying bad stuff about me. That hurt me a lot, but that was inevitable, right? since they talk bad about other people (even about themselves), why wouldn't they do the same with me? But it still hurt a lot.

Even after finding out, I kept acting as if I didnt know anything and even now I didn't confront them about it. I am very scared that if I 'break' this friendship I will become lonely again and I will start being depressed again since I also just finished uni so it will be even harder to make new friends. I really dont know what to do I really wish I had better friends like everyone else does. Does a best friend really exist in this world? or true friends? or is it just all very fake?
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vanillapanda
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Most people are fake and hide behind "I'm just being polite!"

I would suggest not hanging out with people who talk **** about you, that should be a serious dealbreaker. You need to be able to have friends who respects you and people you can count on. An immediate red flag for me is someone who talks **** about people they hang out and smile with, they will do it too you too!

Friendships should be fun, stress free and the very occasional drama (that doesn't involve talking **** about each other!) They are out there but extremely hard to find.
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laughinglad999
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I've always focused on my studies and never went out with my close school mates until uni. After uni started I started feeling very depressed and since I had more free time available, the depression was getting worse and then I decided to join societies and make new friends.

I did make 2 friends and hung out with them . Those two friends knew each other for a long time and hanging out with them helped with my depression and it got better to a point where I didn't have it anymore. It's been 3 years since I've known them now and I found out more about their true character: they always gossip about people and judge people a lot which is something I dont like. Even when they had fights between them two, they always came to me and said bad stuff about each other to me which really did shock me because they were very close and chatting **** about each other to me is not something they should have done. Once I saw a message from one of their phones where one of them was saying bad stuff about me. That hurt me a lot, but that was inevitable, right? since they talk bad about other people (even about themselves), why wouldn't they do the same with me? But it still hurt a lot.

Even after finding out, I kept acting as if I didnt know anything and even now I didn't confront them about it. I am very scared that if I 'break' this friendship I will become lonely again and I will start being depressed again since I also just finished uni so it will be even harder to make new friends. I really dont know what to do I really wish I had better friends like everyone else does. Does a best friend really exist in this world? or true friends? or is it just all very fake?
Drop them they are pure fake nothing but bad news nothing but dead wood
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Anonymous #2
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Fake friends are much better than no friends. Trust me. I started sixth form a year late and had no friends because of that for the past 2 years, before that I had 'fake friends' as you've described but it is so much better having low quality company than no company at all. If you have any sort of friend group right now please don't break it until you find another one.
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Anonymous #2
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Also ignore anyone who tells you to leave them, those type of people have always had friends.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Fake friends are much better than no friends. Trust me. I started sixth form a year late and had no friends because of that for the past 2 years, before that I had 'fake friends' as you've described but it is so much better having low quality company than no company at all. If you have any sort of friend group right now please don't break it until you find another one.
-This is exactly what I am worried about. I really dont want to be lonely again and it will be very difficult to find new friends now that I finished uni

LITTLE NOTE: I am so sad to hear how you're feeling, if you do get into uni you'll be able to easily find friends, but I would really recommend you to really put a lot of effort during your first year as that will determine your friends group over the following years of uni. Also, join societies and have as much fun as you can in your first year as it will get very hard academically in the following years.
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Anonymous #2
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Yeah getting to university is the only thing keeping me going rn
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah getting to university is the only thing keeping me going rn
Honestly, good luck with uni! I really do hope you end up getting very good friends which is why you should make many and then see which ones you think are best for you! And thank you for the advice!
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