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Still heart broken 3 years on.. what do I do? watch

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    hi,
    I know you see a lot of these types of thread.. its just I got engaged at the age of 16 and fell madly in love with the girl.. we split up after 7 months for no real reason and still 3 years on I still want her back.. I love her loads still..

    she had a real bad upbringing and ended up in foster care, I dont know if this has anything to do with it.. but I also had a real bad upbringing too.. and it didnt really affect my view on relationships until recently..

    I really don't understand why I still love her.. she treated me really bad at the time and for ages afterwards..

    ooh and please don't just tell me to move on because so many people have told me to do that.. it doesnt work, please give good advice..

    me and her dont talk anymore but I miss her really badly near enough everyday still.. don't even understand why..

    Im really afraid that if I go to uni with this still on my mind its going to badly affect my work.. I dont need that to happen..

    please and tips or advice apart from the simple " just get over her " would be greatly appreciated..

    thanks
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    if you cant get over her
    get under someone else.
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    It's not what you want to hear, but it's probably what you should do.

    Move on.

    It's been 3 years. She's probably moved on. And even if she hadn't, she treated you badly, and that's no way to re-start a relationship.

    Perhaps you should seek counselling.
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    (Original post by smellslikemarmite)
    It's not what you want to hear, but it's probably what you should do.

    Move on.

    It's been 3 years. She's probably moved on. And even if she hadn't, she treated you badly, and that's no way to re-start a relationship.

    Perhaps you should seek counselling.
    ive already had a years worth of councilling..

    nothing seems to work.. Its not even like I dont have other girls to try and take my mind away from it.. girls are always around me.. its just ive ran out of all ideas to try and get over it..
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    move on or tell her what you telling us now
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    Have you ever thought that maybe it never really was love but infatuation? You say you had a bad childhood which means you were both looking for love at the time. You should think that you are worth a lot more than someone who treats you badly. Just think that you have a whole future ahead of you, where you will meet the right person. Someone who makes you feel great about yourself and who will take you out of this misery. That's love. So try to look ahead at things, meet new people etc. 3 years is a long time, but you will meet ALOT of ppl at uni. We have all been through those phases when you think that's the one and life's over, but seriously, it's not. Sth better always comes along. Don't expect some magic advice from here. It's you that needs to change: be able to lean on yourself first, not others.
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    Have you been with anyone since this girl?

    It sounds like you had a very quick, romantic fling but that is all that it was and really you do have to move on. It's harsh and it's hard to accept, but it's true. I fell in (what I thought was) love with a guy very quickly and it took me over a year to get over him - when I met someone new that I began to feel quite deeply for.

    Try and remember all the bad things about her, maybe get back in contact. I wouldn't usually suggest this as time away is usually the best healer, but maybe you need to see her and get some sense of reality about her to really get over her.

    Get yourself out and about and start letting go. As soon as you find someone to replace her, you're likely to start to move on. University will be a good thing for you, I think.

    Good luck, heart break can be one of the hardest things to get over.
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    Give yourself time and try out other relationships, but keep in touch with her, perhaps with the occasional email and Christmas card. Sounds a bit mad, but my mum met and fell in love with my dad when she was 18 and he was 25, they both went their separate ways (and he got engaged and then split up with 2 other people), but kept in touch, and then they got together when my mum was 25 (and my dad was 32) and then married a few years later! So it can happen, but I think you both have to give yourselves time and the chance to meet other people and to think if it really is right for you, or whether it will be better when you have had different experiences apart from one another.
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    You haven't had closure. That's what the problem is. You need to find out WHY your relationship ended. Try investigating.
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    (Original post by King4eva)
    move on or tell her what you telling us now

    I already have told her.. ive said that I dont want to have anything to do with her.. Ive told her that she would ruin my life.. but we dont speak anymore.. last time we did I was trying to get her to tell me she didnt love me.. but she kept refusing to say that.. so I have no way of getting closure on this
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    ffs grow up
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    (Original post by MagicNMedicine)
    ffs grow up

    I said good advice.. If you dont like what I write.. dont post on my thread.. come on!!
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    keep yourself busy and then these thoughts will slowly be put to the back of your mind. in time, you'll find somebody else...

    pick up a new hobby, read a book on something related if you think it will cheer you up, spend more time with friends and family, study, work, just find something you enjoy and don't let one girl make you forget about all the other special people in your life

    7 months is not *that* long to be honest. ask yourself, do you miss her or do you miss the attention/excitement that being in a relationship with her offered?

    if she treated you badly, take a step back and realise your stronger than to fall for somebody that doesnt like you as much as you like them. truth hurts, but you've got the rest of your life to look forward to

    life is too short, be happy and make yourself proud

    hope it works out for you
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    OP - seriously, just cut all contact. Change your phone number. Forget about it.
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    Ah, that could be it. You could just miss being in a relationship.
 
 
 
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