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Falling for someone you cannot have. HELP very heartbroken...

I am currently living in my home country. I am moving to the UK in September for uni but since I have been very lonely living alone during quarantine, I decided to meet up with a guy from Bumble. I told myself not to get attached since I am leaving soon but I fell HARD for this guy. He has spent the week/weekends at my place multiple times and we have deep convos, I made him dinner, we sleep together, we show PDA, not everything revolves around sex, and it really just does not feel like a normal fling/hookup. I felt like there was something more like an instant connection. His last ex was long distance so I don't think distance is necessarily a huge problem (especially since I will be visiting my home country during breaks) but he told me that he does not really believe in the concept of relationships. He doesn't think exclusivity should be necessary. It hurts because he's the only one I want right now but he's talking to other people too. He also told me that he likes being hurt and cheated on because it "keeps him on edge". He obviously has completely different views on relationships and it's driving me insane. We have convos that imply that I will keep seeing him years from now but we never mention anything about exclusivity. He doesn't even believe in marriage. I feel like I'm just forever going to be one of his sexual partners since he doesn't plan on getting into a relationship with anyone. I am so confused.
Reply 1
Avatar for Surnia
Surnia
20
See, this is why you date someone, so you can find out if you are compatible and share similar views and interests and values before getting more involved. You have the meaningful conversations before having sex.

Whenever he told you, he's been straight up about how he views your relationship, so credit for his honesty, no matter how brutal you think it is. You hooked up for the wrong reasons, when you were feeling lonely and vulnerable, so learn from that. Finish with him and move on as you'll never be happy with him.
It should really be no surprise that you met a guy though an online dating app and he's a player.

Enjoy the time you have with him now.

The future will sort itself out.

When you go to uni, aim to get yourself one or two new boyfriends per year.

Give yourself a pat on the back for having got yourself this boyfriend. If you got him, you'll be able to get other men in the future to be your boyfriend.

Short term setbacks and disappointments are a part of life. Embrace them. It takes the bad things in life to make the good things seem really good.
Reply 3
Avatar for dalbyc
dalbyc
16
we all are

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