Opinions needed please - ex boyfriend.

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Anonymous #1
#1
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Hi everyone.

My ex and I had quite a painful breakup back in January. Neither of us blocked or deleted eachothers number. He broke up with me, he had a lot of serious issues he had to deal with at home. We pretty much had no contact from then as I decided to just leave him to deal with what he needed to deal with.
Over the past couple of weeks, he has called and hung up when I’ve said hello and then last week, he sent a photo of us with the caption ‘happy memories’. We started chatting, just mundane things and then I asked him if he still had feelings for me (maybe I shouldn’t but I couldn’t help it) - he said that all he knew was that I am special to him and that he wants me in his life. He then went on to say that during our not talking, he went to message me countless times but what he wrote didn’t come out right so he is going to call me/leave a voice message because he ‘wants me to know what he is saying is genuine’.
I know none of you will know for sure what he wants to say and I get that but if it was I don’t have those feelings for you anymore or if he didn’t want me in his life, he’d have just deleted me right? Or not wanting to bother put it in a voice message? Any opinions would be amazing thank you. I really do love him.
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LovelyMrFox
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Do you have any interest in getting back together with him?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Do you have any interest in getting back together with him?
Yes, definitely. That’s why I kept the door open by keeping his number rather then blocking deleting etc
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes, definitely. That’s why I kept the door open by keeping his number rather then blocking deleting etc
Ask him if hes interested in getting back together, then.
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Anonymous #1
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Yes I will but I’m wondering why he is so keen to put whatever it is he has to say in a voice message rather than just text
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Dunnig Kruger
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Don't go back. Start with a fresh slate with a new boyfriend.

He was an idiot for breaking up with you.
Nothing significant will have happened in the last 6 months to stop him being an idiot. He's still an idiot. He can't even come out and say to you what's on his mind.

You deserve a boyfriend that's not an idiot.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Don't go back. Start with a fresh slate with a new boyfriend.

He was an idiot for breaking up with you.
Nothing significant will have happened in the last 6 months to stop him being an idiot. He's still an idiot. He can't even come out and say to you what's on his mind.

You deserve a boyfriend that's not an idiot.
Hi I can see where you’re coming from. But right now I’m just wondering why he wants to say it rather than text whatever it is he has to say. And in his own words he said he wants me to hear how genuine he sounds
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ThatGuy89
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Sometimes it takes a mistake or error in judgement to make us realise what we've really lost. If you genuinely believe you will be happy together then its worth it. Happiness is always worth it as there isn't a lot of it these days. He's made a mistake, apparently he had personal issues, he hasn't cheated or been dishonest and so the guy shouldn't be punished for a silly mistake. If he had cheated I wouldnt suggest getting back together because as soon as that trust is cracked it can't easily be pasted over. If it were me, I would be sending a voice message because I would really want you to hear how sorry I am, the feeling in my voice that is usually devoid in texts. Listen to what he has to say, but its not an unsalvageable relationship in fact its probably one of the easier ones.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ThatGuy89)
Sometimes it takes a mistake or error in judgement to make us realise what we've really lost. If you genuinely believe you will be happy together then its worth it. Happiness is always worth it as there isn't a lot of it these days. He's made a mistake, apparently he had personal issues, he hasn't cheated or been dishonest and so the guy shouldn't be punished for a silly mistake. If he had cheated I wouldnt suggest getting back together because as soon as that trust is cracked it can't easily be pasted over. If it were me, I would be sending a voice message because I would really want you to hear how sorry I am, the feeling in my voice that is usually devoid in texts. Listen to what he has to say, but its not an unsalvageable relationship in fact its probably one of the easier ones.
Hey, yes I think it’s to say he’s sorry for how he’s handled things. If it was a I’m sorry I don’t want you anymore surely he wouldn’t go to the bother of a voice message, would you? Surely that would be fine to do in a text?
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Surnia
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Words have to be backed up by actions. He can say whatever he likes, but he needs to show you that he has overcome the issues that caused the breakup, otherwise there's no point rekindling the relationship. Don't put on the rose-tinted glasses and don't rush into things; start again as friends and see what happens, but if he is still dealing with problems in his life, finish it and move on.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Words have to be backed up by actions. He can say whatever he likes, but he needs to show you that he has overcome the issues that caused the breakup, otherwise there's no point rekindling the relationship. Don't put on the rose-tinted glasses and don't rush into things; start again as friends and see what happens, but if he is still dealing with problems in his life, finish it and move on.
Yes I know - but I’m just wondering, for example if it was you - if you wanted to go to the bother of putting it in a voice message, would you be wanting to end things for good/bad news? Wouldn’t it be easier if it was bad news for it to be put in a text and done with?
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harrysbar
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I will but I’m wondering why he is so keen to put whatever it is he has to say in a voice message rather than just text
Maybe he doesn't want to put it in writing in case you show people and he feels embarrassed to be showing his vulnerable side. I think you are doing the right thing in not being the one to contact him .....let him come back to you if that's what you want
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by harrysbar)
Maybe he doesn't want to put it in writing in case you show people and he feels embarrassed to be showing his vulnerable side. I think you are doing the right thing in not being the one to contact him .....let him come back to you if that's what you want
Hey, thanks for your opinion..I do want him to come back to me which is why I haven’t contacted him. I know you might not be able to answer this question but I’m just trying to get opinions if that makes sense..he said what he wanted to say he tried writing but it came out wrong, he wants me to hear it to hear how ‘genuine’ he is being. (He knows I’d never show anyone else) if it was truely over and done, surely it would be easier to just put that in a text and close the door delete my number etc, why go to the bother of a voice message
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ThatGuy89
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hey, yes I think it’s to say he’s sorry for how he’s handled things. If it was a I’m sorry I don’t want you anymore surely he wouldn’t go to the bother of a voice message, would you? Surely that would be fine to do in a text?
I can't imagine he would make you wait for a voice message just to end it further... it doesn't make sense. If he does leave you a voice message saying he's sorry he just wants to be friends that wouod be selfish and pretentious as he's only making himself feel like he's done the right thing so he can look back and say I did the right thing. But its a rare selfish person who does that. Fundamentally the power is in your hands, tell him you want him to leave the message right now or you have nothing more to say to him. 🤷🏻*♂️ Good way to find out.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by ThatGuy89)
I can't imagine he would make you wait for a voice message just to end it further... it doesn't make sense. If he does leave you a voice message saying he's sorry he just wants to be friends that wouod be selfish and pretentious as he's only making himself feel like he's done the right thing so he can look back and say I did the right thing. But its a rare selfish person who does that. Fundamentally the power is in your hands, tell him you want him to leave the message right now or you have nothing more to say to him. 🤷🏻*♂️ Good way to find out.
Yes I agree. He also said I’m special to him and he wants me in his life in pretty much the same sentence
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ThatGuy89
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I agree. He also said I’m special to him and he wants me in his life in pretty much the same sentence
Get him to call you!
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Sarahp2000
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Hi everyone.

My ex and I had quite a painful breakup back in January. Neither of us blocked or deleted eachothers number. He broke up with me, he had a lot of serious issues he had to deal with at home. We pretty much had no contact from then as I decided to just leave him to deal with what he needed to deal with.
Over the past couple of weeks, he has called and hung up when I’ve said hello and then last week, he sent a photo of us with the caption ‘happy memories’. We started chatting, just mundane things and then I asked him if he still had feelings for me (maybe I shouldn’t but I couldn’t help it) - he said that all he knew was that I am special to him and that he wants me in his life. He then went on to say that during our not talking, he went to message me countless times but what he wrote didn’t come out right so he is going to call me/leave a voice message because he ‘wants me to know what he is saying is genuine’.
I know none of you will know for sure what he wants to say and I get that but if it was I don’t have those feelings for you anymore or if he didn’t want me in his life, he’d have just deleted me right? Or not wanting to bother put it in a voice message? Any opinions would be amazing thank you. I really do love him.
More and less the same happened to me 2 weeks ago .. He was very cold , because he had family issues and we broke up .. After that he start to text (more often than when we were in relationship) asking how am I etc. So , in conclusion because I am very good girl and i deserve the best he is trying to press himself to be with me but the truth is that he just does not wanna be with me,.. so simple.. Also , he didn't wanna be the bad of the story..Personally when i wanna be with someone I want to face my problems with him not without him ..Anyway I am leaving to study abroad
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Surnia
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes I know - but I’m just wondering, for example if it was you - if you wanted to go to the bother of putting it in a voice message, would you be wanting to end things for good/bad news? Wouldn’t it be easier if it was bad news for it to be put in a text and done with?
Sounds like he wants to keep the relationship going and wants to find the right words to try and convince you. Could the voice v writing because of something you've discussed about communication? I think if you asked him to call and had a spontaneous conversation he's say the wrong thing. I don't think a voicemail is very 'genuine', I think it smacks of too much planning and overthinking.
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ThatGuy89
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(Original post by Surnia)
Sounds like he wants to keep the relationship going and wants to find the right words to try and convince you. Could the voice v writing because of something you've discussed about communication? I think if you asked him to call and had a spontaneous conversation he's say the wrong thing. I don't think a voicemail is very 'genuine', I think it smacks of too much planning and overthinking.
I think that might be overthinking the voicemail 😁
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Surnia)
Sounds like he wants to keep the relationship going and wants to find the right words to try and convince you. Could the voice v writing because of something you've discussed about communication? I think if you asked him to call and had a spontaneous conversation he's say the wrong thing. I don't think a voicemail is very 'genuine', I think it smacks of too much planning and overthinking.
Hey, thank you for your post it makes so much sense. We haven’t spoken for months, he reached out recently with a photo of us saying ‘happy memories’ so we started chatting. He said that he thinks about me everyday and I’m special to him and that he wants me in his life..he did say that he went to message me so many times but what he wrote didn’t come out write so he wants to leave a voice note/voicemail.
If it was bad, he’d not go to the bother of leaving a voicemail right? He’d just block my number and move on?
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