I don't want to be with her but I don't want her to be with anyone else

You're faar more invested than she is, you need to give her some space if you there to be any chance of it working out

How should I go about this? Just start acting like I don't care as much?

Problem is it'd really destroy me if I broke up with her and then she got with someone else, the thought of someone else making her happy when it should be me making her happy it just really upsets me.

How should I go about this? Just start acting like I don't care as much?

This is not a good enough reason to remain in a relationship you're unhappy in.

Yes, the reality is that when you break-up with someone that they will move on and meet someone else. You will also move on. That pain will be raw at first but it eventually goes away. There will come a point when you won't give a crap who she dates.

You need to have a long discussion with your girlfriend about the issues that are causing the arguments, but you've already identified red flags in this relationship; you're doing things to please her and it's not reciprocated. A relationship should involve give and take, companionship and support for each other. It's no good sticking around and trying different things to make her happy; don't you deserve to feel that way too?

If you can't resolve the problems by talking, break up and move on. If that happens, stop being a people-pleaser, forget about your ex and make sure you find someone who will truly be a partner. Once you find a girl who really appreciates you, you'll notice the difference and realise what a miserable time you were having before.

Don't 'act' like you don't care. Don't care. Don't waste time on games involving any type of 'acting'.

I mean within reason though. Just rebalance the scales so that the effort you put in, is equal to the effort she's putting in, maybe even less than she's putting in. The way I see it, you're entitled to make her feel the same way she made you feel, if that's what it takes to make her understand (seeing as she's not open to talking by the sound of it).

Meet other people instead. If she's not interested in you, you will have a lot more time on your hands to diversify your social circles or start new hobbies.

Is this something she does regularly? She doesn't sound like a nice person, if she allowed the relationship to go on for a long as it sounds it has done, to only then start acting this way. Could it be that she waited all this time to get deep enough under your skin, to be able to get away with this sort of behavior now? I don't know. It's not likely tbh. That's too much effort in itself for most people to apply deliberately.

Either way, you should drop the ball. If she doesn't want to talk about any of this, ignore her the same way she is ignoring you.

I'm scared of the pain but I do know I'd get over it, I have with over exes but this is the longest relationship I've ever had. The pain would be worse.



I don't know if talking will even work at this point because she is so stubborn. I think I'll just start to distance my self a little and put less effort in therefore when she realises this she'll either change or won't. That way I can determine whether or not this relationship is worth it.
She's been like this most of the relationship but has got worse gradually over time.

I don't know if talking will even work at this point because she is so stubborn. I think I'll just start to distance my self a little and put less effort in therefore when she realises this she'll either change or won't. That way I can determine whether or not this relationship is worth it.
She's been like this most of the relationship but has got worse gradually over time.

If you want to get rid of the relationship, stop giving her any attention.

If you still want a stab at a good relationship, give her attention when she behaves right, and don't give her any attention when she behaves wrong.

It's a manipulative tactic, though not exploitative. If anything it can actually be constructive. But it will take time as well. Personally, I wouldn't want to deal with someone who would require this much effort from me, and require me to assume more responsibility than them for their own behaviors. You're not her parent. And there's a good probability of it failing anyway, especially if she figures out what you're doing.

Her behaviors are above all else, her own mental issue and responsibility, not yours. If this is how her personality is, she should take the lead on fixing it.

So you've out up with poor behaviour from her for months, and you're going to let it drag on even longer? Playing her at her own game isn't the answer; take charge and sort it out, one way or the other.