Drunken ****tery

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Too many to pick one out, mine aren't even funny... The type of things you read and think "damn, that's messed up, he's got serious problems...".

Reply 41

Transatlanticdrawl_

I put several for sale signs in my own front garden. Proper stuck them in aswell. I dont know where I got them from or anything. It's all a blur

Reply 42

Oh Dear...

Two of my friends tried to fly to Jamaica.

He hired a minibus (£200) to drive them to the airport and during the journey spent over £100 on their mobiles trying to hire women from someone overseas who called himself the 'Big Boss'.

All they had was their passports and a sun cream bottle.

Expensive night.

Reply 43

AndyK67

Avs

This thread is making laugh! :smile:

I haven't done anything too bad, but a mate of mine got very pissed at his house party and decided to strip naked and stand at the window of his living room which is at the front of his house in a very middle class area. Whenever anyone passed his house he'd start banging on the window and waving his penis in the air..much to their horror! :p:

He eventually fell asleep standing up, butt naked with his face stuck to the window and slober everywhere! :biggrin:

That's hilarious.

Reply 44

GeoTom

benbread

Was sick into a colander.

Myself and my flatmate were both sick into our colander. Different occassions obv. He locked me outside while it was snowing too.
Had a party in halls with 8 of us in my room drinking bucky and white lightening. We were ALL sick that night.
My flatmate's girlfriend got sick on him in bed, so bought him a toaster with "Toaster of Joy" written on the side.

Reply 45

Speedbird2008

Throwing a bottle at an old persons home (WHY?)
Smashing bottles outside my friends front door (Again, WHY?)
Believed it was a good idea to swimming in a friends pool with clothes on

etc

The others that have been posted are way more interesting/exciting though. :biggrin:

EDIT - Nicking some cones and put them on a road, along with a load of stones. I feel ashamed.

Reply 46

Arka

wellerism

To myself or others?

This is gonna be a long list lol

To myself
Broken Collarbone - Running around while drunk and fell in to a gutter!
Sick all over myself multiple times
Playing five finger Fillet, ouch nice scars
Drinking bleach as a dare, (only a shot)
Drinking other stuff as a dare, including gutter water
Pissing all over myself to spite a friend :s-smilie:

i dunno either
Breaking my personal belongings :frown:

Trying to kick a road cone and ****ing up my leg
Smoking
Certain drugs
Self harm with sharp things
Getting and sleeping with a 30year old
Stripping naked
Getting in to fights

To Others
Covering my asleep friend in coffee powder :smile:

Spitting on my asleep friend cause he pissed me off
Starting on my friend cause his jewish
Starting on my ex's new boyfriend
Starting on random people cause im a ****
Spiking someones drink with vodka :biggrin:

Daring someone to drink someone elses sick and then watching them down half a pint of it
Punching my mates dog in the face
Closing french doors on my mates head
Locking someone out at 3am in december

Thats about it really, well all i can remember but im sure theres more

What??? You've never shut your pants?! :no:

Reply 47

Speedbird2008

Tomber

Sleeping with my best mates 27 yr old sister, 2 nights ago. He doesn't know and I saw him today and felt realllly awkward. :o:

That gets super-bonus man points.

I did so with my best friends sister, but she was the year below. You win. :p:

Reply 48

Officer Dibble

Some of these responses are hilarious.

I fell over on the way back from a party at about 2am and through a combination of ridiculous amounts of booze and sheer tiredness I just didn't put my hands out to stop myself. Landed on my face and still have a scar. :o:

Oh yeah and the first time I got properly drunk I just got up in the middle of the night and pissed on my mate who was in a sleeping bag on the floor next to me. Don't even remember doing it but I got woken up again five minutes after with people shaking me and giving me disgusted looks ahaha.

Reply 49

ParadoxSocks

Throwing up red jelly type vomit in my best friend's back garden and blaming the cat when his mum saw it.

Throwing up black tar at 4 in the morning after falling out of the boot of my friend's car and having the above best friend's nan knocking on the bathroom door asking if I was dying.

Drunkenly telling my big gay best friend's granddad that we're a couple :biggrin:

Had above friend throw up up my leg, abandoning him in an alley, staggering into my nightclub drunkenly and scream 'IT'S OKAY, IT'S NOT MY VOMIT.' My other friend didn't get in because she stumbled and they thought she was drunk!

Bashed chest into a toilet and woke up black and blue.

Vomited with both my girlfriend and her best friend. All of us were taking it in turns around one toilet. Wifey then fell asleep so we licked kebab meats and stuck it to her face.

Danced with a fair few drag queens. Insulted the orange dancing guy that was in big brother. drank out of a shoe with a random bunch of Scottish policemen. Been found face down and naked with another girl by a maid at a hotel.

Tried to run away from my best friend, tripped over the bondage straps of my trousers and just rolled away down the bank. They found me sobbing a few hours later because I forgot to grab my phone on the fall down.

I also find a random guy to open up to and then never see them again even though at the time I think they're the most amazing person I've ever met.

Reply 50

Democracy

Speedbird2008

EDIT - Nicking some cones and put them on a road, along with a load of stones. I feel ashamed.

Surely your best mate's sister gets a mention? :s-smilie:

For me:

End of AS levels party, got completely pissed out of my head...proceeded to tell everyone exactly who I liked and why, including the girl herself. When I came back to school on monday it was...hell. I couldn't look her in the eye for months afterwards. Everyone was quoting me, but I couldn't remember anything I said. I also went and asked some random chavs for a fag. Same night I arrived home and puked on my bedroom carpet.

Oh and my best mate still brings it up every few days whenever he feels I'm annoying him :mad:

I have never done anything like that again, and if truth be told I still feel a little disgusted with myself for letting things go so far.

Reply 51

Officer Dibble

Strangely I've never thrown up from being smashed.

Reply 52

Avs

AndyK67

That's hilarious.

What's more funny is that my mate is rather reserved when sober and he couldn't remember anything the next day. The poor guy woke to be told he'd been practically having sex with his window for his neighbours and about half of his college to see :biggrin:

needless to say I think it put him of drinking for quite a while! :yep:

Reply 53

Democracy

Officer Dibble

Strangely I've never thrown up from being smashed.

I only have once. I learnt my lesson :yes:

Reply 54

Officer Dibble

Democracy

I only have once. I learnt my lesson :yes:

Haha consider me blessed. :biggrin:

Reply 55

Speedbird2008

Democracy

Surely your best mate's sister gets a mention? :s-smilie:

That is horrible! I kissed a (male) friend of mine once in return for vodka - luckily everyone didn't care/ were too drunk to remember!

I also remember going down to Oxford to see a friend on the train, carrying a bag full of bottles. Every time we went over a bump or whatever there was a huge ratlle. The looks I got from some people! :eek:

Later that night I had to creep into said friend's house as his parent's didn't even know I was sleeping there. He would have got *******ed if they found out!

Fun times. :biggrin:

(And yeh it did get a mention, in resonse to someone else's post. :p:

)

Reply 56

Democracy

Speedbird2008

That is horrible! I kissed a (male) friend of mine once in return for vodka - luckily everyone didn't care/ were too drunk to remember!

Kiss? Kiss like how? :colone:

Reply 57

Speedbird2008

Democracy

Kiss? Kiss like how? :colone:

A peck. He was out of it, didn't even know. :p:

Reply 58

jmj

I've never been properly drunk, I don't drink that much, but the most I've ever been is when I was extremely tipsy/merry. I'd only had three glasses of wine but they'd gone straight to my head. Someone was doing a stupid video and it got caught on tape. He said 'hello drunkard' and I just went 'I'm not drunk' in the most slurred voice ever, and later on he said he'd put on youtube. My clever witty response was: 'It's on MY camera so HA!' When I looked at it a couple of weeks later, I bowed my head in shame :p: