Views on Big Age gap relationships?

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SullyElBoy
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What is your guys views on big age gaps?

I'm not really talking about like a 30 and 40 year old but more like a 20 year and 40/50/60 year old?

Personally I don't really care much IF it was not my daughter or son but if it was then I would be full of rage.It seems all my friends have the exact option of

" I dont care if it's not my children but if it's my child then that guys getting run over "
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Hannah0505
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Nah thats disgusting. Im sorry but a 20 year old is more similar in maturity to a FOURTEEN year old than a 40 year old. 20 year olds are literally fresh out of teenagehood, i would be concerned if a 20 year old was with a man old enough to be there parent
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ShybutHi
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It is really quite unusual and very likely won't last. I think 20 is definitely a bit too immature, at a very different stage in life. The 20 year old needs a few more years before it would be semi-acceptable, maybe 25.

That said, at these ages they are indeed both adults and can do what they want in the end. Given this fact, you may as well try to assess whether it would be healthy for it to go ahead... The compatibility for a long term relationship is really small so I would say it is not a good idea. The 20 year old should find someone closer to her/his own age.
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Hannah0505
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(Original post by ShybutHi)
It is really quite unusual and very likely won't last. I think 20 is definitely a bit too immature, at a very different stage in life. The 20 year old needs a few more years before it would be semi-acceptable, maybe 25.

That said, at these ages they are indeed both adults and can do what they want in the end. Given this fact, you may as well try to assess whether it would be healthy for it to go ahead... The compatibility for a long term relationship is really small so I would say it is not a good idea. The 20 year old should find someone closer to her/his own age.
they arent both adults 20 year olds are still kids in my eyes regardless of the law
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barnetlad
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There is merit in the half plus seven rule, so if the older person in the relationship is 30, then the younger one should be age 22 or over.

Wide age gaps seem almost always to be older men who have left their wife for someone younger. Unless they are the current French President, though the previous one did.
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townsend10755
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(Original post by SullyElBoy)
What is your guys views on big age gaps?

I'm not really talking about like a 30 and 40 year old but more like a 20 year and 40/50/60 year old?

Personally I don't really care much IF it was not my daughter or son but if it was then I would be full of rage.It seems all my friends have the exact option of

" I dont care if it's not my children but if it's my child then that guys getting run over "
There are people who likes older partner, not because of money or other reason but they just do. They like to be in a mature relationship, hence, a much older partner. There's nothing wrong with it as long as you're legal.
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ShybutHi
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(Original post by Hannah0505)
they arent both adults 20 year olds are still kids in my eyes regardless of the law
Yeah I agree. It is too young. Like I said though, 20 is still adult in accordance to the law so you can't really stop it in that sense and people are free to do as they want. Really you can only let it be known to the person that you disapprove if you do and that you think it is likely a bad idea.
Last edited by ShybutHi; 4 weeks ago
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Issakatie
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I would worry about the older one taking advantage of the younger one's potential naivety and lack of experience. Can lead to bad relationships and emotional abuse etc
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Hannah0505
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(Original post by ShybutHi)
Yeah I agree. It is too young. Like I said though, 20 is still adult in accordance to the law so you can't really stop it in that sense and people are free to do as they want. Really you can only let it be known to the person that you disapprove if you do and that you think it is likely a bad idea.
Yes i completely agree with that one
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Hannah0505
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(Original post by townsend10755)
There are people who likes older partner, not because of money or other reason but they just do. They like to be in a mature relationship, hence, a much older partner. There's nothing wrong with it as long as you're legal.
Just because they like being with older partners doesn't mean they should. Its very concerning since the older person has a position of power to the younger one due to age
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bones-mccoy
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Threads like this really bring out the narrow-mindedness on TSR

I'm in a big age gap relationship. It works for some, it doesn't work for others - you can't generalise. It's often more about the two people themselves than the age gap.

As long as both individuals are adults, capable of making their own decisions, safe and happy then it's not really anyone else's business.
Last edited by bones-mccoy; 4 weeks ago
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Lyndsey.95
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No that is both wrong and disgusting. My limit would be 10 years older.
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Mojmeer
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When I met my spouse she was 25 and I was 33 and that's pretty much on the edge. It might be different if the younger one is 30+ (actual rounded up person) then the older one could be 20+ years older. I can see how that might work.... But to me, 20 years old are just kids allowed to get drunk. They can be really smart, but still kids.There wouldn't be anything of substance in the relationship.
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Hannah0505
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Threads like this really bring out the narrow-mindedness on TSR

I'm in a big age gap relationship. It works for some, it doesn't work for others - you can't generalise. It's often more about the two people themselves than the age gap.

As long as both individuals are adults, capable of making their own decisions, safe and happy then it's not really anyone else's business.
Well i hope you arent 20 with a 40 year old... because a person who is in their 40s with a 20 year old literally not even fully developed yet mentally, is disgusting. why would a person who is making money and settled in life trying to be with someone who is in uni who literally didnt even begin their life yet. its concerning and unsettling and if i ever have kids and they did that then i will try my best to stop them because i dont want them to end up dead or something
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Hannah0505
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(Original post by Mojmeer)
When I met my spouse she was 25 and I was 33 and that's pretty much on the edge. It might be different if the younger one is 30+ (actual rounded up person) then the older one could be 20+ years older. I can see how that might work.... But to me, 20 years old are just kids allowed to get drunk. They can be really smart, but still kids.There wouldn't be anything of substance in the relationship.
EXACTLY! 25 and 33 year oilds are both in the same chapter of their lives and are both fully developed so its fine. 20 year olds on the other hand...
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by Hannah0505)
Well i hope you arent 20 with a 40 year old... because a person who is in their 40s with a 20 year old literally not even fully developed yet mentally, is disgusting. why would a person who is making money and settled in life trying to be with someone who is in uni who literally didnt even begin their life yet. its concerning and unsettling and if i ever have kids and they did that then i will try my best to stop them because i dont want them to end up dead or something
Your profile says you're born in 2005. You are 15. A kid yourself.

Sorry but I'm not going to take life advice from a child who hasn't even taken their GCSEs yet.
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Mojmeer
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Your profile says you're born in 2005. You are 15. A kid yourself.

Sorry but I'm not going to take life advice from a child who hasn't even taken their GCSEs yet.
If the real difference is 20 and 40. You are a sex toy to someone going trough the mid age crisis. It is extremely unlikely that it will build up into something sustainable.
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Hannah0505
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(Original post by bones-mccoy)
Your profile says you're born in 2005. You are 15. A kid yourself.

Sorry but I'm not going to take life advice from a child who hasn't even taken their GCSEs yet.
I'm 14 but just because of my age doesnt mean i havent seen how harmful long age gap relationships are. my cousin got KILLED by her abusive manipulative disgusting ex. she was 21 and he was 43. also my age doesnt have anything to do with this convo
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by Hannah0505)
I'm 14 but just because of my age doesnt mean i havent seen how harmful long age gap relationships are. my cousin got KILLED by her abusive manipulative disgusting ex. she was 21 and he was 43. also my age doesnt have anything to do with this convo
I'm sorry regarding what happened to your cousin but I can assure you not all age gap relationships are abusive and manipulative. Like I said, it largely depends on the individuals in the relationship.

Your age matters in this conversation because you're too immaure and inexperienced to be giving anyone else advice on how to manage their relationships.
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bones-mccoy
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(Original post by Mojmeer)
If the real difference is 20 and 40. You are a sex toy to someone going trough the mid age crisis. It is extremely unlikely that it will build up into something sustainable.
Thanks, hun, but you know nothing about my relationship so take your opinion elsewhere
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