My parents won't let me do my online work in my room!

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Yikes2208
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Hi everyone - just a warning, this is a bit of a read! I'm Olivia, a Year 10 student from England. This has been going on for the whole time we've been in lock down but it even used to happen with things like homework! I'm posting on here because I've tried everything to get them to see my point of view but they just won't budge and it annoys me more every time. I think it's easiest if I run through a situation that happened this morning.

Me: *is going upstairs to catch up on English work I didn't have time to do this week, explains this to Mum*
Mum: Do it down here please
Me: why? I'm not just going to not do it - this is important work for next year (I'm in y10)
Mum: The laptop needs to be downstairs please
Me: I need that for my work
Mum: do it down here then
Me: I get too distracted down there! (I have a younger brother and sister as well as two dogs), You know what fine *goes upstairs, sits on bed and starts to read a chapter of Pride & Prejudice alongside an audio book leaving the door open*
Mum: *comes in to get me downstairs even though she's seen I am doing the work* downstairs please
Me: but I'm doing the work and my door's open
Mum: these are the rules, downstairs please. I would have let you carry on if you were sitting at your desk (my chair for my desk is in my dad's office because he uses it when he's working)
Me: but I don't have a chair
Mum: You could have gone and got one
Me: *is baffled and doesn't know what to do so just gets up to bring my work downstairs, sits at the kitchen table with my dad making a load of noise washing up and my 9 year old sister having a meltdown*
Me: can you be quiet please, I'm trying to concentrate on my work. (politely)
Sis: you're never quiet when I ask (she never asks me so I just ignored lol)
Dad: Just do your work (avoiding the question)
Me: why can't I do it in my room? You know I'm not the sort of person to just not do a piece of work (they have told me they know this in the past)! I set a deadline with my teacher and I have to hand it in by 5pm today (Saturday)
Mum: because those are the rules
Me: ok can I have a reason for the rules please? I just want to know (I don't think this is an unreasonable thing to ask)
Mum: those are the rules!
Me: *is annoyed because this is the excuse every time but still speaks calmly* if I bring my chair up to my room am I allowed to do my work up there?
Mum: *thinks* fine but leave your door open
Me: thank you

On school days I cooperate and work downstairs because my brother and sister are also doing work (my sister does an hour of maths and an hour of English minimum a day and my brother is in y8 so has an hour per subject) in another room, but today was Saturday and everyone is in the kitchen and stuff so it's difficult. Even in usual times, I have to do homework in the kitchen which I find so ridiculous, especially as I am a very hardworking student which they know! I have tried to explain to them (calmly) my point of view but the excuse is always "that's the rule" and then tell me I'm being rude when I argue back (still calmly).
I used to have these thoughts "Am I really being that unreasonable?" and things like that bus as time has gone on I just can't find any reason that they can't explain to me why that is a rule or even just see it from my point of view. It almost feels like they refuse to see it my way now! Could anyone explain to me any reasons that my parents may be acting this way and if there's anything I'm doing wrong and I could fix? I just have had enough of this and needed to let it out - sorry that this was so long! Thanks for reading if you got this far lol
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SoulfulTwist
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Maybe your mother is on her period.
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5hyl33n
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I find it a bit ridiculous they don't allow you to do your work in your bedroom. The fact they aren't even giving a reason is even worse!

Did you get the desk chair?
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diana0212
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(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
Maybe your mother is on her period.
Or maybe she's on menopausal hahaha
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Yikes2208
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(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
Maybe your mother is on her period.
No lol this happens all the time, and its my dad too
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DiddyDec
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There is nothing worse than a parent that can't explain the reason for the rules. Generally a sign that they lack the ability to think critically.
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Yikes2208
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(Original post by 5hyl33n)
I find it a bit ridiculous they don't allow you to do your work in your bedroom. The fact they aren't even giving a reason is even worse!

Did you get the desk chair?
Yes I'm sitting on it right now haha! Sometimes they do allow me but they seem to turn a blind eye when I bring those times up when I'm explaining.
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Yikes2208
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(Original post by diana0212)
Or maybe she's on menopausal hahaha
ahaha
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5hyl33n
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(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
Maybe your mother is on her period.
(Original post by diana0212)
Or maybe she's on menopausal hahaha
Oh shush you two. :lol:

That made me laugh.
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diana0212
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(Original post by 5hyl33n)
Oh shush you two. :lol:

That made me laugh.
I can't think of anything hahahahaha her mom is so random
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5hyl33n
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(Original post by Yikes2208)
Yes I'm sitting on it right now haha! Sometimes they do allow me but they seem to turn a blind eye when I bring those times up when I'm explaining.
Your username perfectly captures my reaction. Yikes.

I would suggest if it doesn't happen too often, just ignore it.
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firdouss
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my parents do the same but after they tell me i go downstairs for one day do my work downstairs for one day and go back upsairs and resume to do my work upstairs as normal
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5hyl33n
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(Original post by diana0212)
I can't think of anything hahahahaha her mom is so random
I know, right! It reminds me of my own mother! :rofl3:
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SoulfulTwist
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(Original post by Yikes2208)
No lol this happens all the time, and its my dad too
Okay seriously, they seem like the type of parents that do not want their children up in their own rooms doing their own thing. Best thing you can do is appease them and spend time downstairs doing things you can concentrate on, if there's nothing then just play games in front of them and do crafts or whatever the hell you fancy. Get to bed early, wake up early when everyone is asleep still and do your work then.

I mean unless this work directly affects your GCSEs, it really is not that important and I wish someone had told me that. I am not saying do not do your work but I am sure you could easily find time for it on the weekdays. So save the weekend for the family and chilling and whatever.
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5hyl33n
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(Original post by firdouss)
my parents do the same but after they tell me i go downstairs for one day do my work downstairs for one day and go back upsairs and resume to do my work upstairs as normal
That sound so long but I guess it works. :dontknow:
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SoulfulTwist
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(Original post by diana0212)
Or maybe she's on menopausal hahaha
That is definitely worse.
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marple
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(Original post by Yikes2208)
Hi everyone - just a warning, this is a bit of a read! I'm Olivia, a Year 10 student from England. This has been going on for the whole time we've been in lock down but it even used to happen with things like homework! I'm posting on here because I've tried everything to get them to see my point of view but they just won't budge and it annoys me more every time. I think it's easiest if I run through a situation that happened this morning.

Me: *is going upstairs to catch up on English work I didn't have time to do this week, explains this to Mum*
Mum: Do it down here please
Me: why? I'm not just going to not do it - this is important work for next year (I'm in y10)
Mum: The laptop needs to be downstairs please
Me: I need that for my work
Mum: do it down here then
Me: I get too distracted down there! (I have a younger brother and sister as well as two dogs), You know what fine *goes upstairs, sits on bed and starts to read a chapter of Pride & Prejudice alongside an audio book leaving the door open*
Mum: *comes in to get me downstairs even though she's seen I am doing the work* downstairs please
Me: but I'm doing the work and my door's open
Mum: these are the rules, downstairs please. I would have let you carry on if you were sitting at your desk (my chair for my desk is in my dad's office because he uses it when he's working)
Me: but I don't have a chair
Mum: You could have gone and got one
Me: *is baffled and doesn't know what to do so just gets up to bring my work downstairs, sits at the kitchen table with my dad making a load of noise washing up and my 9 year old sister having a meltdown*
Me: can you be quiet please, I'm trying to concentrate on my work. (politely)
Sis: you're never quiet when I ask (she never asks me so I just ignored lol)
Dad: Just do your work (avoiding the question)
Me: why can't I do it in my room? You know I'm not the sort of person to just not do a piece of work (they have told me they know this in the past)! I set a deadline with my teacher and I have to hand it in by 5pm today (Saturday)
Mum: because those are the rules
Me: ok can I have a reason for the rules please? I just want to know (I don't think this is an unreasonable thing to ask)
Mum: those are the rules!
Me: *is annoyed because this is the excuse every time but still speaks calmly* if I bring my chair up to my room am I allowed to do my work up there?
Mum: *thinks* fine but leave your door open
Me: thank you

On school days I cooperate and work downstairs because my brother and sister are also doing work (my sister does an hour of maths and an hour of English minimum a day and my brother is in y8 so has an hour per subject) in another room, but today was Saturday and everyone is in the kitchen and stuff so it's difficult. Even in usual times, I have to do homework in the kitchen which I find so ridiculous, especially as I am a very hardworking student which they know! I have tried to explain to them (calmly) my point of view but the excuse is always "that's the rule" and then tell me I'm being rude when I argue back (still calmly).
I used to have these thoughts "Am I really being that unreasonable?" and things like that bus as time has gone on I just can't find any reason that they can't explain to me why that is a rule or even just see it from my point of view. It almost feels like they refuse to see it my way now! Could anyone explain to me any reasons that my parents may be acting this way and if there's anything I'm doing wrong and I could fix? I just have had enough of this and needed to let it out - sorry that this was so long! Thanks for reading if you got this far lol
I suspect they are worried about what you may do online - accessing inappropriate websites, meeting strangers etc. The news is full of teenagers being tricked into a whole variety of nasty situations and although it is very rare, it is a nightmarish prospect for parents.

They will have to trust you sometime, but it's always harder with the oldest child as they are feeling their way. Perhaps explain to them what you think might be worrying them, say that you are fully aware of online dangers and would not engage in the type of things they worry about. Perhaps offer to let them go through your browsing history every now and then so that they can be reassured.

Otherwise find a quiet place downstairs and invest in a good pair of headphones!
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Yikes2208
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(Original post by SoulfulTwist)
Okay seriously, they seem like the type of parents that do not want their children up in their own rooms doing their own thing. Best thing you can do is appease them and spend time downstairs doing things you can concentrate on, if there's nothing then just play games in front of them and do crafts or whatever the hell you fancy. Get to bed early, wake up early when everyone is asleep still and do your work then.

I mean unless this work directly affects your GCSEs, it really is not that important and I wish someone had told me that. I am not saying do not do your work but I am sure you could easily fimd time for it on the weekdays. So save the weekend for the family and chilling and whatever.
Thank you so much for this! I don't usually have work left to do on the weekends but all my teachers decided to give me loads this week and I just didn't finish. To be honest this hasn't happened for at least 4 weeks!
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username5323908
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(Original post by Yikes2208)
Hi everyone - just a warning, this is a bit of a read! I'm Olivia, a Year 10 student from England. This has been going on for the whole time we've been in lock down but it even used to happen with things like homework! I'm posting on here because I've tried everything to get them to see my point of view but they just won't budge and it annoys me more every time. I think it's easiest if I run through a situation that happened this morning.

Me: *is going upstairs to catch up on English work I didn't have time to do this week, explains this to Mum*
Mum: Do it down here please
Me: why? I'm not just going to not do it - this is important work for next year (I'm in y10)
Mum: The laptop needs to be downstairs please
Me: I need that for my work
Mum: do it down here then
Me: I get too distracted down there! (I have a younger brother and sister as well as two dogs), You know what fine *goes upstairs, sits on bed and starts to read a chapter of Pride & Prejudice alongside an audio book leaving the door open*
Mum: *comes in to get me downstairs even though she's seen I am doing the work* downstairs please
Me: but I'm doing the work and my door's open
Mum: these are the rules, downstairs please. I would have let you carry on if you were sitting at your desk (my chair for my desk is in my dad's office because he uses it when he's working)
Me: but I don't have a chair
Mum: You could have gone and got one
Me: *is baffled and doesn't know what to do so just gets up to bring my work downstairs, sits at the kitchen table with my dad making a load of noise washing up and my 9 year old sister having a meltdown*
Me: can you be quiet please, I'm trying to concentrate on my work. (politely)
Sis: you're never quiet when I ask (she never asks me so I just ignored lol)
Dad: Just do your work (avoiding the question)
Me: why can't I do it in my room? You know I'm not the sort of person to just not do a piece of work (they have told me they know this in the past)! I set a deadline with my teacher and I have to hand it in by 5pm today (Saturday)
Mum: because those are the rules
Me: ok can I have a reason for the rules please? I just want to know (I don't think this is an unreasonable thing to ask)
Mum: those are the rules!
Me: *is annoyed because this is the excuse every time but still speaks calmly* if I bring my chair up to my room am I allowed to do my work up there?
Mum: *thinks* fine but leave your door open
Me: thank you

On school days I cooperate and work downstairs because my brother and sister are also doing work (my sister does an hour of maths and an hour of English minimum a day and my brother is in y8 so has an hour per subject) in another room, but today was Saturday and everyone is in the kitchen and stuff so it's difficult. Even in usual times, I have to do homework in the kitchen which I find so ridiculous, especially as I am a very hardworking student which they know! I have tried to explain to them (calmly) my point of view but the excuse is always "that's the rule" and then tell me I'm being rude when I argue back (still calmly).
I used to have these thoughts "Am I really being that unreasonable?" and things like that bus as time has gone on I just can't find any reason that they can't explain to me why that is a rule or even just see it from my point of view. It almost feels like they refuse to see it my way now! Could anyone explain to me any reasons that my parents may be acting this way and if there's anything I'm doing wrong and I could fix? I just have had enough of this and needed to let it out - sorry that this was so long! Thanks for reading if you got this far lol
It's kinda understandable from her point of view but she should trust you to get it done. My parents were kinda similar :/
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SoulfulTwist
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(Original post by Yikes2208)
Thank you so much for this! I don't usually have work left to do on the weekends but all my teachers decided to give me loads this week and I just didn't finish. To be honest this hasn't happened for at least 4 weeks!
Teachers don't exactly check with each other to make sure the workload is decent. A lot of the time it is unnecessary work.

You need to understand, parents want their children to know that there is more to life than just school work.
Last edited by SoulfulTwist; 4 weeks ago
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