Girl problems!

(posting this anon because i have friends on here!)

hi this one may be quite lengthy so i apologise lol but i needdd advice on what to do because i worry about it everyday (sorry if parts are a bit tmi)!!

so i got my period when i was 13, nearly 14. i’m now 16 and i’ve been trying to use tampons for agesss, since i was 14 i think. i literally CANNOT do it, i’m not scared particularly it just won’t ****ing go up there. it’s like i hit a brick wall about 1cm up and it’s actually agony. i want to be able to use tampons for swimming and just because i don’t like pads.

apparently the problem i may have is actually fairlyyy common- my hymen might be too thick & muscular to be able to fit anything through the whole. there’s loads of types of hymen including a septate one which is where there’s a string of tissue down the middle of the hole which means putting in a tampon really hurts. as tmi as it sounds, i cant SEE any hymen type thing that could be obstructing it, so wtf is it? i also cant put a finger up there. i’m sooo worried about having sex in the future, whenever it may be (i’m a virgin lol) but i want to be able to have sex with someone but i probably won’t be able to!
there is another thing but i’ve ruled it out, it’s called vaginismus which is where the vagina basically spasms whenever something goes in, and tightens up to the point it won’t go in at all. but i know i don’t have that because i can fit a q-tip up there, which means i don’t have vaginismus thank
god.

one of my close friends had a septate hymen, she told me she couldn’t put in tampons because it was agony for her. she got a hymenectomy surgery which is where they put you under general anaesthetic and cut the hymen to remove it. obviously this surgery makes people’s lives a lot easier because it makes them be able to use tampons and have sex without it being pure agony or being impossible. if i DO have a similar problem, i could either just wait until sex which would probably “pop the cherry” (lol cringe) aka break the hymen by itself, without needing surgery although it would probably be the most painful thing ever. and then my other option.... is surgery. i’m terrified of needles, refuse vaccinations because they give me massive panic attacks and i genuienly do not think i could go under general anaesthetic because it would mean an IV line, a massive needle in my vein. absolutely not.

so i wanna go to the doctors about it obviously because that’s the best thing to do but i have no idea how to tell my mum. we’re really not close, argue all the time, she’s super awkward about anything to do with periods or shaving etc- idk why. i’m a bit awkward myself but it’s actually her that’s the main problem, i would be able to tell her if it was gonna be a normal conversation but it won’t be with her. i know i could go to the doctors myself and not tell her, but if they say i need surgery my mum has to be told because i’m a minor. my friend who had the surgery told her mum so easily and got the surgery with no problems, i wish i could be the same but i just won’t!

so i guess my main question (i’m so sorry for writing so much!!) is how on earth do i go about seeing a dr about? or do i just not? some people online say just wait for sex but at the moment sex gives me anxiety because i know he either wouldn’t be able to enter me at ALL or i would be screaming in pain.

thank you so much for reading this far, but if you have ANYTHING that might help please let me know🥺thankyou x

so i got my period when i was 13, nearly 14. i’m now 16 and i’ve been trying to use tampons for agesss, since i was 14 i think. i literally CANNOT do it, i’m not scared particularly it just won’t ****ing go up there. it’s like i hit a brick wall about 1cm up and it’s actually agony. i want to be able to use tampons for swimming and just because i don’t like pads.

hello! don’t worry about the lengthy reply, i don’t mind!

firstly i just want to point out that I’m not an expert so it’s always best to consult a medical professional.

personally, i wouldn’t stress too much! sorry if this is tmi haha but I was the exact same regarding tampons! it was so painful and i just couldn’t bring myself to do it! i was so worried it was something serious but it turned out just to be because i was a virgin and it was just pain from that!

the first time i did something sexual with a boy (fingering etc.) it hurt but was soon fine! after that, I started using tampons and it was totally fine and was no longer painful!

maybe start experimenting trying to put a tampon in and just go as far as possible before it becomes too painful and then stop. or use a finger etc. just to get used to the feeling and the muscles will get used to it and slowly loosen up!

as for the doctor, if it doesn’t get better please consult a doctor! is there someone other than tour mum you could get to take you to a doctor? if not, there is online medical professionals who will consult you online, however if they are worried you will need to go in person.

don’t worry about it! im sure it will be nothing! if you need any more help send me a message ❤️

thankyou so much for replying, this actually really helped especially knowing that you had a similar problem. i think in my head i know that it will probably work out ok in the end, whether that’s when i start doing things with a boy or just one day it magically works, who knows 😂

something that really gets to me though is on tiktok there’s this really stupid trend where someone will say “if you can’t wear tampons and only wear pads...” then the song goes “can you really take d i c k or nah?” and it makes me wanna cry because it’s these girls on their high horses because they wear tampons, making other girls who don’t feel like they won’t be able to have sex. it’s hard to explain but it genuinely upsets me and i hate it. but reading the comments on those tiktoks make me feel alot better because its people saying

“i never used tampons but when i lost my virginity it hardly hurt”

or just other girls saying that like me, they can’t use tampons either. i think i just like knowing i’m not alone!!

thankyou so so much for the advice,i will go to the doctors if either it doesn’t get ‘better’ or if i just feel like i want to go i don’t have anyone else who would go with me so i think i’d just have to tell my mum and be over with it lol

Hey - you're not alone. I'm nearly 18 and have the exact same problem! I'm fine using tampons for now - but at some point I will try it again.
The first time I tried, it was too tight and wouldn't go up which meant it was only half way in - this made me very dizzy and I thought I was going to pass out - I've never felt that way before until then.

I don't know what it is either!

thankyou so much for replying, this actually really helped especially knowing that you had a similar problem. i think in my head i know that it will probably work out ok in the end, whether that’s when i start doing things with a boy or just one day it magically works, who knows 😂

something that really gets to me though is on tiktok there’s this really stupid trend where someone will say “if you can’t wear tampons and only wear pads...” then the song goes “can you really take d i c k or nah?” and it makes me wanna cry because it’s these girls on their high horses because they wear tampons, making other girls who don’t feel like they won’t be able to have sex. it’s hard to explain but it genuinely upsets me and i hate it. but reading the comments on those tiktoks make me feel alot better because its people saying

“i never used tampons but when i lost my virginity it hardly hurt”

or just other girls saying that like me, they can’t use tampons either. i think i just like knowing i’m not alone!!

thankyou so so much for the advice,i will go to the doctors if either it doesn’t get ‘better’ or if i just feel like i want to go i don’t have anyone else who would go with me so i think i’d just have to tell my mum and be over with it lol

it’s okay! i totally agree with you about the TikTok thing! but remember half the girls making the videos are probably in the same boat as you. social media is a face for most people, nobody shows their true self!

I much prefer pads! I only use tampons when I have to and that’s just down to preference!

Don’t worry about sex! My first time with my boyfriend was so scary for me but he was so lovely and understanding about it! Make sure you do foreplay as it will be much more comfortable!

You definitely aren’t alone!

(posting this anon because i have friends on here!)

hi this one may be quite lengthy so i apologise lol but i needdd advice on what to do because i worry about it everyday (sorry if parts are a bit tmi)!!

so i got my period when i was 13, nearly 14. i’m now 16 and i’ve been trying to use tampons for agesss, since i was 14 i think. i literally CANNOT do it, i’m not scared particularly it just won’t ****ing go up there. it’s like i hit a brick wall about 1cm up and it’s actually agony. i want to be able to use tampons for swimming and just because i don’t like pads.

apparently the problem i may have is actually fairlyyy common- my hymen might be too thick & muscular to be able to fit anything through the whole. there’s loads of types of hymen including a septate one which is where there’s a string of tissue down the middle of the hole which means putting in a tampon really hurts. as tmi as it sounds, i cant SEE any hymen type thing that could be obstructing it, so wtf is it? i also cant put a finger up there. i’m sooo worried about having sex in the future, whenever it may be (i’m a virgin lol) but i want to be able to have sex with someone but i probably won’t be able to!
there is another thing but i’ve ruled it out, it’s called vaginismus which is where the vagina basically spasms whenever something goes in, and tightens up to the point it won’t go in at all. but i know i don’t have that because i can fit a q-tip up there, which means i don’t have vaginismus thank
god.

one of my close friends had a septate hymen, she told me she couldn’t put in tampons because it was agony for her. she got a hymenectomy surgery which is where they put you under general anaesthetic and cut the hymen to remove it. obviously this surgery makes people’s lives a lot easier because it makes them be able to use tampons and have sex without it being pure agony or being impossible. if i DO have a similar problem, i could either just wait until sex which would probably “pop the cherry” (lol cringe) aka break the hymen by itself, without needing surgery although it would probably be the most painful thing ever. and then my other option.... is surgery. i’m terrified of needles, refuse vaccinations because they give me massive panic attacks and i genuienly do not think i could go under general anaesthetic because it would mean an IV line, a massive needle in my vein. absolutely not.

so i wanna go to the doctors about it obviously because that’s the best thing to do but i have no idea how to tell my mum. we’re really not close, argue all the time, she’s super awkward about anything to do with periods or shaving etc- idk why. i’m a bit awkward myself but it’s actually her that’s the main problem, i would be able to tell her if it was gonna be a normal conversation but it won’t be with her. i know i could go to the doctors myself and not tell her, but if they say i need surgery my mum has to be told because i’m a minor. my friend who had the surgery told her mum so easily and got the surgery with no problems, i wish i could be the same but i just won’t!

so i guess my main question (i’m so sorry for writing so much!!) is how on earth do i go about seeing a dr about? or do i just not? some people online say just wait for sex but at the moment sex gives me anxiety because i know he either wouldn’t be able to enter me at ALL or i would be screaming in pain.

thank you so much for reading this far, but if you have ANYTHING that might help please let me know🥺thankyou x

aw thanks for the reply this is a relief knowing there’s another girl who had the same issue! when i try to put in a tampon (haven’t tried in probably 1 year now!) my legs would shake probably from nerves or maybe the frustration of it not working. when i first tried i had absolutely no idea that anything would be a problem, i knew it might be uncomfortable but i never expected it to not even go up! i’ve tried every angle, position, and made sure i’m using the smallest tampons but it still doesn’t work-the frustration is real! it does worry me tho because most girls when they lose their virginity have already used tampons for ages or fingered themselves etc, but i havent so surely it’s gonna be really bad?

but thanks for letting me know i’m not alone, it helps more than you’d know!xx

that’s very true about social media not being what it seems, youre right some girls probably are the same as me but dont want to say it. i wouldnt wanna say it either on a public platform, so that’s probably why there are more videos of girls being like “haha look at me i can wear tampons” than videos where girls talk about not being able to.

that’s really good that your boyfriend was sweet and understanding about your first time, i hope mine will be the same because that would be so much better for me!

thanks again💗

Ignore them! What a bunch of immature and insensitive brats. The ones saying that are the ones who are most insecure, trust me. TikTok is dreadful for things like this

i know right! heres a link to one of the tiktoks i was talking about, hopefully the link works!
https://vm.tiktok.com/JRwegtp/

luckily these girls get utterly torn down in their comments for being intensive, ignorant, rude, patronising etc but as they should be!! it’s not right, but luckily there’s more people against it than agreeing with them.

Hi,

You don't need to be deciding on surgery just yet! Women's vaginas come in loads and loads of different shapes, so sometimes, the shape of your vagina is just a little awkward, and you can work around that and find what works for you. There are also other common conditions that can be causing painful ~insertion~, so I strongly recommend that you talk to a doctor first, and you might need an examination. An examination may sound scary but you can have someone come in with you, there will always be a female nurse there (and they'll most likely try to get a female to examine you to make you feel more comfortable) and it won't hurt. My biggest advice is not to let them shrug you off - if your vagina is bothering you, you need and deserve treatment. Be confident in stating your issues and don't settle for anything less than you want.

Good luck!