Is not dating trans people transphobic?

I’ve seen this debate on TikTok and I’m just really confused.

If I met someone who I connected with who was trans then yes I would date them.

I respect trans people and will always accept them as whatever they identify as but I disagree that not dating a trans person makes you transphobic.

I have a friend who is trans and she says that it’s not transphobic.

Edit - also would like to point out that if I see any transphobic comments, you will be reported.

SLOWING DOWN REPLIES IN A HOPE TO QUIET DOWN THIS THREAD. THANKS FOR ALL YOUR REPLIES, IT HAS BEEN REALLY EDUCATIONAL.

What do you think? :smile:

(edited 3 years ago)

I think you can't generalise every trans person as not your type or undateable in your preference.

you might meet someone and they happen to be trans - it shouldn't define them and they wouldn't want it to.

Reply 2

babyshark

OP

16

Original post by yzanne

I think you can't generalise every trans person as not your type or undateable in your preference.

you might meet someone and they happen to be trans - it shouldn't define them and they wouldn't want it to.

I agree that’s not what I’m saying. But if someone chooses not to date a trans person, that shouldn’t automatically make them transphobic.

If I met someone who was trans and we connected then yes of course I’d pursue a relationship with them!

I just think it’s unfair to state that anyone who doesn’t date a trans person is transphobic because they aren’t. :smile:

Reply 3

ANM775

20

Is it transphobic to check out a hot woman ....but then when she comes closer and you hear a voice like barry white coming out of her mouth .. the penny finally drops and you are completely put off and angry at yourself?

Reply 4

babyshark

OP

16

Original post by ANM775

Is it transphobic to check out a hot woman ....but then when she comes closer and you hear a voice like barry white coming out of her mouth .. the penny drops and you are completely put off and angry at yourself?

That’s not transphobic but you shouldn’t be angry at yourself for talking to a trans person? They are valid as whatever they identify as so it’s wrong of you to be disgusted by a trans person.

Nope

Original post by babyshark

That’s not transphobic but you shouldn’t be angry at yourself for talking to a trans person? They are valid as whatever they identify as so it’s wrong of you to be disgusted by a trans person.

i never talked to them, but was checking them out at the beginning

Reply 7

Educate_Yourself

14

If it is then I am transphobic

Reply 8

Napp

22

God tiktok is a cesspool.
No. No it does not make you so called 'transphobic'.

Reply 9

babyshark

OP

16

Original post by ANM775

i never talked to them, but was checking them out at the beginning

Again, it is wrong of you to automatically feel disgusted about checking out someone who is trans. If your preference is not to date trans people that is fine! But you should respect them and who they are :smile:

Reply 10

babyshark

OP

16

Original post by Napp

God tiktok is a cesspool.
No. No it does not make you so called 'transphobic'.

I agree.

Reply 11

Catherine1973

20

I wouldn’t date a trans man as I am not into women. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t be friends with them. I also wouldn’t date someone who was religious or someone who wanted kids or someone who is very into sport and wanted to spend every weekend playing etc.

Reply 12

HazelPoHOPE

3

Well I have 4 reasons why I will not

1)They usually cannot reproduce, I want to have bio kids (I also want to adopt 1 kid aswell but I still want bio kids)
2)They are still technically men so I'm technically gay if I date one (I'm a supporter of gay rights but I'm not gay)
3)My religious family would never accept it
4)Not to make this thead dirty,but I do not want to have sex with a man-made vagina as that is very weird and strange.

These are all personal beliefs and I think justified, we can agree to disagree ?

Reply 13

babyshark

OP

16

Original post by Catherine1973

I wouldn’t date a trans man as I am not into women. But that doesn’t mean I couldn’t be friends with them. I also wouldn’t date someone who was religious or someone who wanted kids or someone who is very into sport and wanted to spend every weekend playing etc.

And that’s totally fine! That is what I’m trying to say! You can support trans men and women and choose not to date them! It doesn’t make you transphobic :smile:

Reply 14

babyshark

OP

16

Original post by HazelPoHOPE

Well I have 4 reasons why I will not

1)They usually cannot reproduce, I want to have bio kids (I also want to adopt 1 kid aswell but I still want bio kids)
2)They are still technically men so I'm technically gay if I date one (I'm a supporter of gay rights but I'm not gay)
3)My religious family would never accept it
4)Not to make this thead dirty,but I do not want to have sex with a man-made vagina as that is very weird and strange.

These are all personal beliefs and I think justified, we can agree to disagree ?

I agree that it’s a preference, however your points are a little faulted in terms of claiming to support them. As long as you respect and support trans men and women, I do not see the problem.

Original post by babyshark

I agree that’s not what I’m saying. But if someone chooses not to date a trans person, that shouldn’t automatically make them transphobic.

If I met someone who was trans and we connected then yes of course I’d pursue a relationship with them!

I just think it’s unfair to state that anyone who doesn’t date a trans person is transphobic because they aren’t. :smile:

It doesn't make you transphobic to have preference.

However, if you get in an amazing, loving relationship with someone, then realise their trans and automatically feel disgusted by them - then the one thing that turns you off is that they're transgender, making you hateful of who they are, even though you like the most important part about them, which is their personality.

Reply 16

babyshark

OP

16

Original post by ANM775

why is it not ok for me to feel like this, but it's ok for gay people to be "disgusted" at the thought of having sex with the opposite sex. I've seen gay people say this MULTIPLE times on TSR and never get pulled up on it.

Seems like there's one rule for straight cis people, and another for LGBT...

I’m not saying it’s not ok for you to feel that way, I’m saying we should all support each other. If you do not want to date a trans person that is fine but you should respect them or at least use correct pronouns etc.

I’m not turning this into a LGBT debate so please keep that to yourself.

Reply 17

disappointable

12

Original post by HazelPoHOPE

Well I have 4 reasons why I will not

1)They usually cannot reproduce, I want to have bio kids (I also want to adopt 1 kid aswell but I still want bio kids)
2)They are still technically men so I'm technically gay if I date one (I'm a supporter of gay rights but I'm not gay)
3)My religious family would never accept it
4)Not to make this thead dirty,but I do not want to have sex with a man-made vagina as that is very weird and strange.

These are all personal beliefs and I think justified, we can agree to disagree ?

Hate to intrude, but trans women are not "technically men", I don't think refusing to date trans people is transphobic, but rejecting their identity and saying they are still the gender they were born into - that doesn't sit right.

Reply 18

babyshark

OP

16

Original post by yzanne

It doesn't make you transphobic to have preference.

However, if you get in an amazing, loving relationship with someone, then realise their trans and automatically feel disgusted by them - then the one thing that turns you off is that they're transgender, making you hateful of who they are, even though you like the most important part about them, which is their personality.