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    I don't know how long this is going to be, so I'll do it in bullet points...

    *I'm the youngest of 5 children, I'm 17, male
    *All my siblings have graduated, all were overachieving at college (AAA and stuff...)
    *Nigerian parents, ridiculously strict, still try to beat me from time to time (hahaha, get it out of your system now...)
    *I'm really shy, find it hard to talk to people (friends, strangers, my own family etc...)
    *Developed a stutter, makes it even harder to talk to people
    *Become paranoid, when I hear people laughing, I think they're laughing at me
    *not very good looking, never had what i can consider a girlfriend...
    *think I have anger issues, punched a hole in the wall of my room a couple of months ago
    *Parents (again): mum makes me feel bad about myself, calls me "idiot", "useless", "scum" at one point... make me do pretty much everything in the house...
    *pretty smart myself, but went downhill just before GCSEs, got A*AAAABCCDD, got even worse, CDEU at AS... parents really dissapointed, don't talk to me much anymore (at least, not happy subjects...)
    *Older brother, calm one moment, angry the next... keeps trying to make me fight him... when i did, i ended up cracking a rib,too scared to tell parents, still kept going to college...
    *developed a small twitch, no-ones noticed yet
    *considered suicide a few times (too scared to, if i fail, my parents will be angry- stupid, i know, but its kept me alive )
    *i have an inability to smile naturally, i have to really force it...
    *im really funny, but its more like Chandler funny


    I just feel like if anything else happens, i'm just gonna snap and do something im gonna regret... what should i do????

    anon or delete, please...
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    If you're really funny, as you say you are, people probably are laughing at you.

    The serious point is that despite all the negative points you've listed there, you also added at the end that you're a funny person. The problem is that it's always easier to think of the negative aspects of yourself, but never the positives. However, it's important that you do so. Don't write yourself off as completely useless.
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    See that list you wrote there? Now go and write a similar one but with all the good points you can think about yourself. Try very hard as well and don't give up after one because you feel it's hopeless. Trust me there is ALWAYS a lot of good things about yourself to consider, you've just got to search for them
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    If you think your crazy wave your hands in the air!!!!!!!!!
































































    If you actually did wave about I can confirm that you are indeed crazy
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    dont ask a bunch of 14-25 year olds on a student forum for a start
    if you seriously feel like your on the edge of going mad- get professional help- talk to an adult over 30 at least

    but ill give the best advice i can--
    my dad who is a psychoanalyst told me once hes said to a few of his patients, that they are at risk of going mad and if they let go they really will, and it will be increasingly difficult to turn back- so its very important you really try to maintain some sense an hold on- dont whatever you do give up and just say f'*** it- dont allow yourself to self-destruct
    getting a regular routine- a job or occupation would help a lot
    and try to connect to people- everyone in your life- but ideally you should have good friends who you can trust and confide in- dont spend too much time alone
    Im not at all surprised you get angry, do badly at school and have no confidence from the sound of your parents- they sound really aggressive to begin with- and good parents understand how vital it is to their children to get encouragement and sympathy- if your parents are as you describe they were presumably like that from when you were younger- so youve probably taken that aggression and feeling of uselessness in as youve got older
    the fact you have a good sense of humour (esp chandler like humour- its a real gift) is one of the most precious things people have- always consider that a reason to feel worthwhile and have faith life is worth living
    I might add- the fact your siblings were academically successful is completely irrelevant- loads of people could be top of their field in the world and have a complete mess of a life, whereas others never achieved anything more than getting a job as a bin man and really have quite an enviable happy existence

    something else I would say- try and take an interest in art/music/literature- Im having a pretty tough time living alone in germany (im 18 & its the first time ive lived away from home and its very difficult to meet people let alone make friends).. and ive started to feel really lonely and despairing like ive never before in my life- but reading literature I really love and listening to music (i can recommend a lot) just reminds me life is worth living and lifts my spirits- and millions of people throughout history find a reason life is worth living through Art. It doesnt have to be Eliot or Dante, or Dylan- anything at all you like- just because you like it

    also- comedy is really good- When i feel most awful and hopeless (usually during studyleave)- i watch clips of my favourite stand up comedians on youtube- never underestimate the importance of laughing

    something else ive learned through experience- how important living according to morals is to being happy- remember that- thats where your self worth should lie. but id try to get some direction- something to work towards- Ive been extremely lucky- Ive wanted to go to cambridge for the last 5 years and I got a place and met the offer- but just having that goal, and achieving it, has meant life is always worth living and always going somewhere for me- otherwise Id probably feel like you (well also if i didnt have such an amazing family).

    hope this helps
    also, since i have a lot of time on my hands atm- if you need someone to talk to or need help or advice, id be happy to try and help- but you really need to talk to someone with life experience
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    id call the samaritans and just get someone to talk to lad.
    and if you can deal with it for another year, youll be in uni, FAR FAR away from them :yy:
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    Mate, here's a few things I'd advise:

    1) Get that cracked rib checked out. That's not funny.
    2) Get your anger issue sorted, that's not good for anyone.
    3) You are funny. So smile MORE.
    4) Try and develop some kind of personal confidence, you could join some sort of club or activity to get to know more people.
    5) WTF, get this twitch sorted out, see a GP.
    6) Don't fight your jackass brother again.
    7) And put your head down and get your grades up.

    8) And no, you are not crazy. Just a teenager.
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    (Original post by butterfly_girl_5)
    dont ask a bunch of 14-25 year olds on a student forum for a start
    if you seriously feel like your on the edge of going mad- get professional help- talk to an adult over 30 at least

    but ill give the best advice i can--
    my dad who is a psychoanalyst told me once hes said to a few of his patients, that they are at risk of going mad and if they let go they really will, and it will be increasingly difficult to turn back- so its very important you really try to maintain some sense an hold on- dont whatever you do give up and just say f'*** it- dont allow yourself to self-destruct
    :yep:
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    Well I would think about moving out, your parents/brother don't sound like good company and they probably won't change now. It really sounds like they've completely made you lose your confidence - living on your own or with a friend would be a breath of fresh air and you can take time to make a fresh start and think what you want to do now.
    Maybe get a job, start a vocational course, and see a GP about your emotional/anger/twitch problems. Don't go down the depressed route because it won't make anything any better and will be so hard to get out of. Basically, live yer life
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    hey, lifes not all bad. You're still alive and kicking(your brother). I didnt have the chance to go to school, because of something someone else did and I only came out with 5 gcse's, albeit they weren't fails! You've seriously just got to think of the good things in your life and aim for something-anything!
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    (Original post by Promesse)
    :yep:
    where is that poem from you have in your signature?
    its really good
    sounds like shelleys adonais
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    Chandler funny is the best :yep:
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    Go see a psychologist or a psychotherapsit, your gp can recommend local ones
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    (Original post by butterfly_girl_5)
    where is that poem from you have in your signature?
    its really good
    sounds like shelleys adonais
    One of my mates showed me this vid on youtube with the poem in it
    http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=LDe3Ls...eature=related

    I put the first couple lines into google, it's by Mary Frye.
 
 
 
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