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Lack of sex and relationship problems watch

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    I could really do with some advice as my relationship is getting me down. I am 19, my boyfriend is 23 and we have been together just over a year. Now the honeymoon period is over, the excitement has gone, his sex drive has gone and it's almost got a little boring. I still love him, i really do but shouldn't i be feeling happy? I've never been at this stage of a relationship before and i miss the excitement and spark you feel at the start of a relationship. We don't have much in common regarding hobbies etc, but we both get on well and have a laugh with each other. We rarely argue, only bicker like any couple would. We used to have sex all the time, now im always the one who initiates it and most of the time he says he's too tired or whatever. I often feel unattractive, i don't feel as sexy round him as much as i used to.

    We have only ever seen each other weekends, because he lives near my uni and i live 20 miles away, which doesn't help. The first year of uni i commuted so nothing changed. This year i'm moving over to a student house but i'm still doubtful about seeing him any more as it's gonna be harder at uni this year and i sometimes feel he won't be that bothered about seeing me. He's a very laid-back type and doesn't seem to show emotion, so i never feel like he's really missing me, or bothered about seeing me, even though he says he does.

    I just feel everything has gone downhill and i've tried talking to him about the lack of sex etc but he just doesn't know why he's not bothered about it and never really wants to talk about it. His dad and step-mum have just chucked him out of the house (well not literally, but they gave him a deadline) and he's had to move into a shared house with three complete strangers, so that probably won't be helping his emotions.

    I just can't get through to him because he always says everything is fine, and i sit there thinking i'm needy and high maintenance because i'm always the ones who finds problems with the relationship, and i feel i'm the one who wants to do anything about it. Help .
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    first of all im sorry to hear about this, understandably you'd be upset. but as for ur sex drive, why dont u try something really excentric. just something to try and spark your sex life up again. for example u could try doing something really kinky, and perhaps he'll be really interested. all couples go through a phase where everything is low and they need something to really spark up the relationship again.
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    Remember to keep this thread clean But sex ideas are always useful to read so make sure this thread isn't closed!
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    (Original post by Pareesasa)
    first of all im sorry to hear about this, understandably you'd be upset. but as for ur sex drive, why dont u try something really excentric. just something to try and spark your sex life up again. for example u could try doing something really kinky, and perhaps he'll be really interested. all couples go through a phase where everything is low and they need something to really spark up the relationship again.
    Hi, thanks for the tip. Yea i guess it just needs spicing up but i just feel at loss with it all, it's almost like i can't be bothered myself because i don't feel i'll get anywhere. I can walk around naked nowadays and he probably wouldn't notice. I guess we're just relaxed with each other and it's more attachment, but i don't want it to be that way .
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    if you really like this guy then i suggest u fight for your relationship to work
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    Perhaps just give him time to find his feet and he will come back into the relationship
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    Has the lack of sex been going on for a while? Maybe he is just stressed with life (finding a place to live etc)?
    If you think it is appropriate, try sprucing things up in the bedroom, and if that fails then talk to him. Make him listen. Tell him that you just want to know why he thinks his sex drive has dwindled and if you can do anything to help with it. Just have a frank and open discussion about it, lay the cards on the table.

    Good luck. :hugs:
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    (Original post by Pareesasa)
    if you really like this guy then i suggest u fight for your relationship to work
    Well yea i love him, i just want both of us to work at it, not just me. I'm the only one who recognises the problems .
 
 
 
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