Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
I feel so ugly
I’m 17
My hair is falling out and I think it is because I’m anaemic but I’ve been taking tablets but my hair continues to fall out.
I found a white hair which makes me feel even worse about myself.
I don’t like how I look I’m overweight and I’ve always been struggling with it, putting on more weight and losing it again and again.
I have a black patch on my neck that came out of no where. I just feel so ugly and as a child, people would always compliment me to my mum about how cute I was but now I’ve become so ugly.
My parents earn a low income so I can’t afford to buy decent clothes to improve my style so I look horrible and any money I made from my previous job has been used for school to buy a tablet to use at sixth form and textbooks which were so pricey.
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Anonymous #2
#2
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#2
Try using subliminals. Make sure you use them for the right reasons. Eg. using them for YOURSELF. And not to impress others. They will make you feel more confident.
Btw you can dress nicely and look good on a budget
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babyshark
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#3
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#3
you’re beautiful no matter what ❤️
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squeakysquirrel
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#4
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I feel so ugly
I’m 17
My hair is falling out and I think it is because I’m anaemic but I’ve been taking tablets but my hair continues to fall out.
I found a white hair which makes me feel even worse about myself.
I don’t like how I look I’m overweight and I’ve always been struggling with it, putting on more weight and losing it again and again.
I have a black patch on my neck that came out of no where. I just feel so ugly and as a child, people would always compliment me to my mum about how cute I was but now I’ve become so ugly.
My parents earn a low income so I can’t afford to buy decent clothes to improve my style so I look horrible and any money I made from my previous job has been used for school to buy a tablet to use at sixth form and textbooks which were so pricey.
Why are you anaemic - surely your GP is addressing the problem.

As regards your opinion of yourself, I am sure you are not ugly. You are just going through a bad patch - we all are.

Look at yourself in the mirror. Identify something you like about yourself.

You don't like being overweight - then aim to lose some weight. Do exercise - you don't need to go to a gym. Decent clothes - Ebay - you can get some great designer gear. And when the charity stores open - again some fab clothes.

Cant help about the black patch - it may be to do with anaemia.

Good luck and a hug across the internet.
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Karisa96
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#5
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Beauty is to the eye of the beholder, im sure your beautiful anyway.
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Kimberley270302
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#6
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Hey,
I'm so sorry that you feel like this. This message probably won't help you change the way that you view yourself but trust me- inner beauty is so important and I'm sure you are beautiful on the inside. Again, I know you're concerned about your outer appearance but beauty really is in the eye of the beholder and if you have a great personality people will look over how you look on the outside. Just focus on what you have control of!
Peace and love <3
and if it makes you feel better no boy has had a crush on me aha but I've finally come to the point where I don't care how I look- you will eventually get there xx
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Anonymous #1
#7
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#7
But that wouldn’t change how I look
True but I can’t even afford the cheaper clothes if I’m being honest and because i’m really self conscious I’m really fussy with what I wear
My mum always says how I could be so pretty but because I’m overweight etc it makes me look worse
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Anonymous #1
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True I have control of how I look. If i exercised more, ate healthy, stressed less I think that would make me look better but it wouldn’t change my hair loss. But it’s so hard to do this in practice when I feel so down all the time. I just don’t feel like doing anything.
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ChrisW99
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#9
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Are you a girl?
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Kimberley270302
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#10
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(Original post by Anonymous)
True I have control of how I look. If i exercised more, ate healthy, stressed less I think that would make me look better but it wouldn’t change my hair loss. But it’s so hard to do this in practice when I feel so down all the time. I just don’t feel like doing anything.
and if you don't feel like doing anything- it's fine! please don't stress yourself about that. If you're not in that mind space that's fine. Look after yourself and then pick yourself up. And in terms of clothes, I shop at depop. It can be expensive at times but if you look well you can find cheap clothes and also shop in a way that's environmentally friendly (which might also make you feel better). Also 17 is still young (I'm 18). These self image issues will eventually blow over I'm sure
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Anonymous #3
#11
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#11
You're beautiful. Don't letter anyone tell you otherwise.
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Ben878
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#12
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#12
You'll be able to figure out something about your hair, body and (most importantly here, I feel) self esteem, I promise. (I promise because it comes from personal experience that I've been able to change these things after they've been bad, and am still changing them!)

General stuff for your hair:
-Lots of water
-Your diet is only so much, but make sure you're getting good amounts of protein, vitamin D as well. (Also try to notice if your digestion is okay for what you usually eat)
-Less stress (I know it's hard, but it can be done)
-If you have a bad scalp, use hair masks and consider changing shampoo. (Be cautious of/avoid using any other products too close to your scalp, including conditioner)

Some light stuff for your body:
-Get out and do some walking (or jogging or cycling) more (- some general energy burn)
-Do stretches for flexibility (- this is very easy and makes you feel great afterwards, highly recommend. Could always expand that and do yoga)

Some stuff for your self esteem (and in turn help the above):
-Make sure you get good sleep (do not have your phone/laptop close to your bed ever, set the tone before you go to bed)
-Be kind to yourself!
-Give yourself some small challenges - you want nice hair, which is a great goal to have - so push yourself to help yourself get it

Low self esteem and hair loss is worthy problem to see your GP - they are very happy to see people with such issues, and would dislike to see people just go on and not do things about it

Finally, not everybody measures beauty in terms of a few inches +/- waist size - I don't - plenty of pretty girls with bit larger waist, if that means anything
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squeakysquirrel
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#13
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(Original post by Anonymous)
True I have control of how I look. If i exercised more, ate healthy, stressed less I think that would make me look better but it wouldn’t change my hair loss. But it’s so hard to do this in practice when I feel so down all the time. I just don’t feel like doing anything.
I going to say something - that I said to someone else yesterday ( and it helped) - stop playing the victim. You have your life in your control. If you are anaemic - then address that. If you are on iron tablets then clearly you need to up the dose.

But your life is in your hands - nobody else. You have a wonderful future ahead of you if only you could see that. None of this bollux about beauty on the inside - quite frankly that is utter nonsense and only said by people who know nothing and have never suffered.

I will let you into a secret and this is between you and me Ok..... I got divorced 6 years ago nearly. I thought my life was at an end and I was miserable. I looked awful, felt awful and generally I was bad company etc. I was the "woe is me"

I had my two months or so of feeling sorry for myself but then I decided... you know what, I am not going to let this event define my future. I got a new haircut, had a professional makeover artist work on my face. Bought "new clothes" from Ebay. Lost a bit of weight and put myself out there on the dating scene. It was scary but I came through it. I took up new hobbies ( turns out I cannot sing ... or play golf....or do bouldering). I changed my job and then I started travelling. It was outside my comfort zone all the time, but heck you are only on this earth once - make the most of it.

Please do the same.
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Anonymous #1
#14
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#14
Thank you so much for the advice
I thought people would be rude but actually you’ve all given me such great advice
Yes I am a girl
I feel like because I’m so down all the time, it’s affected how I look.
I was vitamin d and iron deficient a while ago but for some reason they stopped my prescription so I went 6 months without those supplements initially given
And as a result of that, I think my hair started falling out
I think I do need to go to the doctors to find out the cause
I feel like I’m deteriorating mentally and physically whilst other people are glowing up
I feel horrible about myself and my own personal situations at home are adding to that.
I hope these self esteem issues blow over because I’ve been feeling like this for too long. I’m scared I’ll never stop feeling like this because I always hear my mum complaining about how she looks.
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Anonymous #1
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How I look is the most minor of problems that I’ve experienced. That’s just the surface of it. It’s just recently I’ve been feeling more like that. That’s true I am in control and I realise that because I’m so young, I have so much more to live and experience and things will change.
It’s hard to do all of that in the environment that’s made you become the way you are if that makes sense.
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Reality Check
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(Original post by ChrisW99)
Are you a girl?
Almost certainly.
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Anonymous #1
#17
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#17
how did you guess 😂
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Sammylou40
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#18
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How I look is the most minor of problems that I’ve experienced. That’s just the surface of it. It’s just recently I’ve been feeling more like that. That’s true I am in control and I realise that because I’m so young, I have so much more to live and experience and things will change.
It’s hard to do all of that in the environment that’s made you become the way you are if that makes sense.
You’ve been given good advice so far.
Speak to your gp about your medication but also mention to them how you are feeling emotionally. They can offer help before it gets out of control.
There are some good brands of make up that aren’t expensive. MUA at Superdrug should have everything you need and they’re a couple of pounds and good quality.
If you want to do your hair ask local salons if you can go to training nights. You can have a cut or colour for a fraction of the cost and they’re fully supervised. The same at a local college if there’s one near you.
Have a look on eBay for clothes. I buy all mine online from there as I don’t like spending what new clothes cost! Have a good search and you’ll find a couple of outfits. Then sell them when you’ve finished with them.
You’re not ugly at all. You’re just a little low and unhappy. That can all be sorted. Take care x
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Anonymous #1
#19
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#19
Thank you so much for that 💗
I wear a headascarf so that hides everything from the rest of the world and I wear quite baggy clothes but now that I’m at home, I can’t not avoid myself if that makes sense
Thank you so much all of this advice honestly means so much
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Sammylou40
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Thank you so much for that 💗
I wear a headascarf so that hides everything from the rest of the world and I wear quite baggy clothes but now that I’m at home, I can’t not avoid myself if that makes sense
Thank you so much all of this advice honestly means so much
Don’t hide away.
Wear your headscarf by all means but not to hide from the world.
Wear what makes you happy.
Will you try something for me please?
It takes time but it will help.
Every morning stand in front of a mirror. And tell yourself 5 things that you like.
It can be anything
Eyebrows, eyelashes, eye colour. Skin tone, hair, fingernails, toes. Anything!!!
Find five. And believe it. It will feel odd for a while because you’re not used to it. But believe it. It is true!
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