When I was on holiday a waitress said to me, "It's cold" after handing me a bowl of ice-cream!
"alright mate, i'll have a large doner kebab please. no salad"
I went to a stationary shop and asked for a Self Addressed Envelope. Whenever I go into that shop in Leamington the woman always reminds me about it!
On a comment on one of my youtube videos:
'Two words: therapy' XD
"Is Nottingham in the same hemisphere as Yorkshire?"
"Isn't the sun actually black?"
"Walruses are mythical"
on the bus one day my friend randomly asked 'you know in movies when men have to have beards or a moustache, how do they got them'
my reply was 'normally they grow them'
her reply 'oh i thought they stuck the inividual pieces of hair on'
I was asking various bands playing in the Christmas concert at school what lighting they wanted (tbf they got whatever the lighting technician wanted to give them, but we liked to let them think they had a say in the matter). While talking to one sixth form band:
Singer: "Just red at first, then when we start jumping around can you make it flash and stuff? You know, yellow, green, orange, blue, white, black..."
Me: "You want black light?"
Singer: "Yes, all mixed in together ok?"
I was informed that said singer had got A*A* in double science award at GCSE. We were slightly confused about how we were to give him black light though!
In primary school I asked what The Simpsons second name was.
Whats an Eithiopian? Is it half man half beast?
Also, during a class reading of Romeo and Juliet the teacher mentioned that next lesson we would come to the balcony scene. To which she aks, "Is this the bit where Juliet lets down her hair for Romeo to climb up?"
My tutor group in year 11 were talking about teenage pressures, people gave examples like peer pressure, their workloads and the like. One girl who was known for her lack of intellect manages to come out with "uh.... air pressure??"