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Making a good impression come September? watch

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    Well basically at the college in which I go too there's a person there that I talk to a bit not alot and we get on quite well, now come this year 2 lessons that this person was in my group for they won't be anymore but we still talk in passing etc., they are also in my tutor group, now when I go back to College in September I want to make a good impression on this person, and anyone else I may meet, also one other I haven't spoken too in a good long while, last year I came across as an obssesive, unconfident, shy person who didn't often talk to new people, now since summer has started and the last few weeks of last term I feel I have lost my old inhabitions, I feel like a stronger person, and feel more confident than ever before, but I want to show these people and the rest of the world I've changed, that I'm a new person but am worried that my first impression may count against me hugely now, I also plan on taking up the gym big time next academic year , I just feel like I want and need a fresh start, and want to make a good impression on people I know and people who I am yet to meet, so I ask the H&R peeps for any and all advice. (Anon as don't want people who I know scour the forums to know that it is me who asks this.)

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    Anon
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    First off, don't obsess over that first impression, because it'll just wreck the progress you've made so far Trust in the confidence you've built up over the summer - that kind of thing tends to show through all by itself. If there was anything specific you did that caused the confidence, you could focus on that...

    Also, looking people directly in the eye, giving them a big smile (a genuine one, not forced or meek), and asking how their summer was does wonders. If someone you know is too far off to actually chat with, sometimes you can give them a quick smile and wave and go back to what you were doing, and that's enough to get a "what's up" conversation started later... I feel like most people are a tiny bit unconfident even if they don't show it, so if you let them know you're happy to see them again, they'll be more comfortable showing they're happy to see you too...? Actually a lot of people don't recognize shyness for what it is and mistake it for aloofness or standoffish-ness (if that's even a word), so being friendly will probably help more than anything else.

    And whatever happens, the first impression isn't everything - I have a few friends I was tempted to write off at first but I'm really glad I took the time to get to know them! And possibly vice versa. Anyway good luck.
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    • Thread Starter
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    (Original post by BTownKTown)
    First off, don't obsess over that first impression, because it'll just wreck the progress you've made so far Trust in the confidence you've built up over the summer - that kind of thing tends to show through all by itself. If there was anything specific you did that caused the confidence, you could focus on that...

    Also, looking people directly in the eye, giving them a big smile (a genuine one, not forced or meek), and asking how their summer was does wonders. If someone you know is too far off to actually chat with, sometimes you can give them a quick smile and wave and go back to what you were doing, and that's enough to get a "what's up" conversation started later... I feel like most people are a tiny bit unconfident even if they don't show it, so if you let them know you're happy to see them again, they'll be more comfortable showing they're happy to see you too...? Actually a lot of people don't recognize shyness for what it is and mistake it for aloofness or standoffish-ness (if that's even a word), so being friendly will probably help more than anything else.

    And whatever happens, the first impression isn't everything - I have a few friends I was tempted to write off at first but I'm really glad I took the time to get to know them! And possibly vice versa. Anyway good luck.
    Ah that makes sense, and finally explains why someone said I was aloof earlier in the year haha. Yeh I guess my problem is I just obsses over the first impression way too much, to compare it to something else if you've ever seen the program 'friends' I end up acting like Chandler off of that and generally making a prat of myself. Thanks for the advice .
 
 
 
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