bad relationship

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 6 months ago
#1
So the relationship was pretty bad because he was psychologically abusive, manipulative, lied all the time etc resulting in a strong trauma bond. But at the start of the relationship, he promised never to leave me. Obviously there came a point where I had enough of his **** and said that we were over, but never officially ended the relationship. The relationship basically ruined me, I'm really depressed and damaged.

Henceforth I have just been asking him why, because I want to know and get closure, and telling him what a bad person he is and what he did and sending informative stuff about manipulation etc. No friendly chats, meetups, anything relationshippy.

The reason why I didn't officially end the relationship is because at that the point I was ready to do so and finally saw him for what he was, it was too late, he had already ruined me. So I figured, because I'm so unhappy, and the problems in me are so hard to fix, it's not actually gonna make me any more unhappy by bothering him, but it will make him more unhappy (call me spiteful but he was awful to me).

But now I'm thinking is this the best thing to do? He just ends up pissing me off and is probably coming impervious to my ranting.

But then when I don't talk to him for a while, I don't feel any better, I still feel hurt and angry about what he did and the fact everyone loves him and he'll do well in life. As well as he would just be able to forget me and not have any reminders or punishment for what he did and caused?
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Abzzz57
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#2
Report 6 months ago
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(Original post by Anonymous)
So the relationship was pretty bad because he was psychologically abusive, manipulative, lied all the time etc resulting in a strong trauma bond. But at the start of the relationship, he promised never to leave me. Obviously there came a point where I had enough of his **** and said that we were over, but never officially ended the relationship. The relationship basically ruined me, I'm really depressed and damaged.

Henceforth I have just been asking him why, because I want to know and get closure, and telling him what a bad person he is and what he did and sending informative stuff about manipulation etc. No friendly chats, meetups, anything relationshippy.

The reason why I didn't officially end the relationship is because at that the point I was ready to do so and finally saw him for what he was, it was too late, he had already ruined me. So I figured, because I'm so unhappy, and the problems in me are so hard to fix, it's not actually gonna make me any more unhappy by bothering him, but it will make him more unhappy (call me spiteful but he was awful to me).

But now I'm thinking is this the best thing to do? He just ends up pissing me off and is probably coming impervious to my ranting.

But then when I don't talk to him for a while, I don't feel any better, I still feel hurt and angry about what he did and the fact everyone loves him and he'll do well in life. As well as he would just be able to forget me and not have any reminders or punishment for what he did and caused?
Hi, I'm really sorry you went through a relationship like this.. remember this was not your fault, even though you noticed it later on people like him are very good at hiding it until it's too late..

But trying to get revenge is literally only going to hurt you, as you say everytime you end the conversation it's you who ends up being hurt and he possibly doesn't even realise or even gets some enjoyment out of it.. by continuing this communication he is winning.. you ended it but your still in contact.. you ended it but your still being hurt by him.. you ended it but you are the one who is still thinking about him and ways to get back at him...

The best revenge is moving on with your life and making it amazing.. in a few years time he's going to realise what a **** he's been and will look you up on social media.. is he going to find a strong beautiful woman who has amazing friends and possibly new partner living life to the fullest or is he going to see someone still consumed by all the bad things he's done to her.. please please do not let him drag your life down anymore..

You took the first step to get away, don't waste anymore time, breath or thoughts on this guy.. live your life you want to and prove him wrong! I wish you the best of luck and I really hope you look back on this time and see it as a first step to an amazing life..
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