what would you do?

Right. Here goes.

Last year around study leave I added a guy on myspace who I thought looked alright in his profile photo (private profile.) When he accepted it turns out he really wasn't my type. However I thought I would just keep talking anyway and could make a friend out of it :smile:

As I judge people far too much on looks :frown:

So he started talking to me on msn etc.

A few things about him creeped me out slightly, but then in the holidays we started to talk for quite a while (I wasnt interested in him romantically, and looking back I think I was just bored so it was more of a timekill even though that sounds awful to say :frown:

) But then I can say I enjoyed the attention as Im quite insecure and get fed up of being single sometimes.

Anyway, when college rolled around I talked to him less and less because I had less spare time and didnt think about him, miss talking to him etc. He however didnt seem to quite get the same message. He kept asking to meet up with me and tells me Im hot (even though ive never met him in real life..)

Then last week he asked me for..erm...sexual favours? This freaked me out and I blocked him on practically everything apart from myspace, and I forgot to block him when deleting on msn so he can still see me online. He apologised for it but I dont like how he thinks it can make everything fine and dandy.

So do I just completely remove him from everything and not talk to him from now on? I try making polite conversation but he just thinks Im coming across as moody :rolleyes:

To be fair I would like him out of my life so I can move on to nicer people but I dont know whether this is a bit too harsh?

Any advice TSR? :smile:

Reply 1

tis_me_lord

14

Heh well I'm a weirdo who only talks to people on MSN if they're either a very close friend or if they're family - in fact I currently have 8 people on my contact list. My point being that I have blocked and deleted some people whom I really get on well with and everything.... I just like to give my real life friends and that some proper attention when we're al online.

Hence in this scenario there would be no doubt in my mind that you should just block and delete. I'd suggest that even if he didn't make the pervy comment but let alone AFTER he made it. It's clear what he wants from you, and it's not something he's going to get anyway - so do youselves both a favour and just end it.

Reply 2

Sazzy890

18

Sounds like a weirdo to me. I think you need to just tell him straight you 1) are not interested in having sex with him 2) you're not interested in him afterall and 3) you don't have time to see him or speak to him anymore because of college.

Unless you tell him straight, you can't expect him to know... from general experience, guys don't normally understand hints, they need telling straight (not being sexist, its just something I have learnt from own experience about hinting lol). He'd probably thank you for it too so that he isn't feeling like he's being led on.

If he continues pushing after that, I'd just tell him to get lost and delete him and block him from everything.

Reply 3

Lithium

13

Anonymous

Right. Here goes.

Last year around study leave I added a guy on myspace who I thought looked alright in his profile photo (private profile.) When he accepted it turns out he really wasn't my type. However I thought I would just keep talking anyway and could make a friend out of it :smile:

As I judge people far too much on looks :frown:

So he started talking to me on msn etc.

A few things about him creeped me out slightly, but then in the holidays we started to talk for quite a while (I wasnt interested in him romantically, and looking back I think I was just bored so it was more of a timekill even though that sounds awful to say :frown:

) But then I can say I enjoyed the attention as Im quite insecure and get fed up of being single sometimes.

Anyway, when college rolled around I talked to him less and less because I had less spare time and didnt think about him, miss talking to him etc. He however didnt seem to quite get the same message. He kept asking to meet up with me and tells me Im hot (even though ive never met him in real life..)

Then last week he asked me for..erm...sexual favours? This freaked me out and I blocked him on practically everything apart from myspace, and I forgot to block him when deleting on msn so he can still see me online. He apologised for it but I dont like how he thinks it can make everything fine and dandy.

So do I just completely remove him from everything and not talk to him from now on? I try making polite conversation but he just thinks Im coming across as moody :rolleyes:

To be fair I would like him out of my life so I can move on to nicer people but I dont know whether this is a bit too harsh?

Any advice TSR? :smile:

I think it's simple, but then again I guess I'm not really in your shoes.

You've never met the guy, have no feelings for him, and what I highlighted above. Block him, (no need to even say forget him from what you've said :p:

) and he's out of your life just as you want.

AH

Reply 4

thecaterpillar

14

In my experience, guys change ridiculously when they talk to you over the internet. Guys from my classes will randomly add a selection of girls and start asking them for sex, or telling them they are hot. Sadly some people (including me :/) are insecure, and so the attention feels great, you feel like, yes, there is someone who finds me attractive. However, these guys are probably a little more than desperate. A lot of them are not very nice or just not very interesting in real life, and know that they can't be bothered or aren't nice enough to just start talking to a girl and get to know them, so they do it via myspace or MSN where the process can, in their eyes, be sped up.

I was in your situation a little while ago. I did actually know the guy, he went to my school, but I wasn't friends with him or anything, and had never really spoken to him properly. He suddenly added me, we started talking, and he started asking me for sex, or to show myself to him on webcam, send him more pictures, etc. I got kind of freaked out but at the same time didn't feel comfortable about just going 'no, go away', which in hindsight I should have done. I felt a bit sorry for him, and I liked feeling like I was wanted. Long story short, we ended up having sex, I lost my virginity to him and hated myself for it. It kind of ended in this horrible spiral where it kept happening, more people talked to me and said they liked me, and we just ended up having weird casual sex which I felt horrible about afterwards.

I know this is just my experience, but yeah, if you don't like him and don't want him to talk to you, maybe you should block him. I really don't think he's going to be really horrible upset about it and get all depressed. >_> Good luck.

Reply 5

Spacecam

15

When I started reading I was inclined to type "tell him the truth cos you'll end up hurting him" However

You've been speaking to someone who you weren't overly keen on. If he's talking about sexual things you aren't comfortable with, perhaps you shouldn't be feeling at all bad about blocking him.

I'd say you are doing the right thing, he sounds abit dodgy. Even if he isn't all that bad in real life, he shouldn't behave like that online.

Be careful...but whatever you decide I'm sure will be what's right for you. I think this is scenario where you shouldn't think about it and just make a snap decision.

Reply 6

Lithium

13

tis_me_lord

Heh well I'm a weirdo who only talks to people on MSN if they're either a very close friend or if they're family - in fact I currently have 8 people on my contact list. My point being that I have blocked and deleted some people whom I really get on well with and everything.... I just like to give my real life friends and that some proper attention when we're al online.

Hence in this scenario there would be no doubt in my mind that you should just block and delete. I'd suggest that even if he didn't make the pervy comment but let alone AFTER he made it. It's clear what he wants from you, and it's not something he's going to get anyway - so do youselves both a favour and just end it.

Reply 7

tis_me_lord

14

Jesus Christ this is a very common experience I encounter with girls: whether its a girl I am going out with (which makes it worse to me) or just friends with. You're too nice to people!

Or maybe I'm just a **** to people? :s-smilie:

But you would not believe how many times I have heard now something like "he asked me to strip on webcam and well, I didn't want to be MEAN so we kept talking and stuff." Come on people, learn to block and delete, it's not that cruel!

See "thecaterpillar" I'm sorry about what happened to you and everything. But hopefully you've learnt now to just be a bit tougher with people; in real life I could understand but online it's so easy to just "click" and boom someone never existed. :biggrin:

Reply 8

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks everyone for the great replies :smile:

Theres just a part of me that feels a bit bad about deleting him because he says he has depression and feels so lonely and how girls always like him as a friend etc..but whether this is part of the act or actually true im not sure.

Reply 9

nanananabatman

10

You don't know him. Delete and go.

Reply 10

Spacecam

15

Well if you did like him properly as a friend you wouldn't be thinking this.

He's only an acquaintance online - so delete and go.

Reply 11

free_the_mind

1

Originally Posted by Anonymous
Theres just a part of me that feels a bit bad about deleting him because he says he has depression and feels so lonely and how girls always like him as a friend etc..but whether this is part of the act or actually true im not sure

Sounds like a bit of emotional blackmail there. But who knows. Don't feel bad about blocking and deleting him he stepped way over the line and you made your intentions towards him clear. It's not your fault. He's a big boy i'm sure he'll get over it.

Reply 12

Anonymous #1

OP

Thanks guys :smile:

im on the block user page for myspace and i have to admit it does feel good!

Reply 13

artorscience?

11

Anonymous

There's just a part of me that feels a bit bad about deleting him because he says he has depression and feels so lonely and how girls always like him as a friend etc..but whether this is part of the act or actually true i'm not sure.

Well it's not your problem/fault that girls like him as a friend but don't go out with him, or that he has depression. However if you have been friends with him for a year you possibly have had enough conversations to get a feel for what is likely to be true or untrue. And presumably if you've been friends for a year you've found his company at least interesting if not stimulating and enjoyable. Do you really want to kick that friendship out of your life just because he said something sexual once? If a friend in RL had come to you and asked for sexual favours randomly once would you go out of your way to remove them from your company permanently?

Reply 14

strawberry

13

I add online friends to my contact list ... but they're dropped and deleted and blocked the instant they try anything funny. But so far, only one's been that way so ...

I suggest just for your peace of mind to delete him.

Reply 15

Puge Henis

its probably a 50 year old hairy man - delete him!

Reply 16

DamnitJanet

8

I would block him, really, for good this time. I've had some weird comments/requests on MSN in the past and the best thing to do is get rid (I made the mistake of not doing this once and the result was a little bit of mental scarring :p:

)

Reply 17

DominF

2

I'd remove him from your life asap.

Reply 18

Anonymous #1

OP

thanks guys, been really helpful :smile:

what would you do?

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