House party - inviting too many people? :/

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Anonymous #1
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I'm 16 and planning a summer house party for when lockdown is over and when the risk of corona is even more minute because i dont wanna be a #covididiot . I'm not going to have it till at least mid august and if its still in the news then i'll leave it because no point risking it and we all know it starts to get cooler in September, and i want a indoors and outdoors party.

Anyways its kind of a "tradition" with my friends. Like every year one of us would have a party at the very start of summer (but of course due to covid i will have to push it further back to a end of summer party).
First i wanted to do a joint party because i haven't planned a huge party in a long time but my friends wouldn't agree so I've reduced it to invite only whereas in previous years in would be open invitation.
I've wrote down a list and have about 180 people i want to invite - not all through me though because each of my closest friends (around 6 of them) are inviting around 10 people of there own :/. Also i want to let everyone who confirms to bring a plus 1 to make up for the fact its invite this year, im the type of person who feels bad for leaving people out, i feel like i'm fulfilling the stupid stereotypical "popular" girl cliche tbh

I have a relatively big house with a pool (hence why i want it in summer), but say 100-150 people end up coming (because obviously not everyone comes), do you think this is too much people?.
fyi - my parents are allowing me to have this party, i will tell neighbors etc etc.
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AzureCeleste
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 16 and planning a summer house party for when lockdown is over and when the risk of corona is even more minute because i dont wanna be a #covididiot . I'm not going to have it till at least mid august and if its still in the news then i'll leave it because no point risking it and we all know it starts to get cooler in September, and i want a indoors and outdoors party.

Anyways its kind of a "tradition" with my friends. Like every year one of us would have a party at the very start of summer (but of course due to covid i will have to push it further back to a end of summer party).
First i wanted to do a joint party because i haven't planned a huge party in a long time but my friends wouldn't agree so I've reduced it to invite only whereas in previous years in would be open invitation.
I've wrote down a list and have about 180 people i want to invite - not all through me though because each of my closest friends (around 6 of them) are inviting around 10 people of there own :/. Also i want to let everyone who confirms to bring a plus 1 to make up for the fact its invite this year, im the type of person who feels bad for leaving people out, i feel like i'm fulfilling the stupid stereotypical "popular" girl cliche tbh

I have a relatively big house with a pool (hence why i want it in summer), but say 100-150 people end up coming (because obviously not everyone comes), do you think this is too much people?.
fyi - my parents are allowing me to have this party, i will tell neighbors etc etc.
Woowwwww that's a lotttt of people and you say invite only but people will easily bring their friends who will bring their friends and it will reach a point where there is likely to be more people than the 180 because ultimately you can't control everyone who comes in and out when there is that many people. Unless you man the door the entire day/night to control who enters it is likely to be more than that
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Reality Check
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm 16 and planning a summer house party for when lockdown is over and when the risk of corona is even more minute because i dont wanna be a #covididiot . I'm not going to have it till at least mid august and if its still in the news then i'll leave it because no point risking it and we all know it starts to get cooler in September, and i want a indoors and outdoors party.

Anyways its kind of a "tradition" with my friends. Like every year one of us would have a party at the very start of summer (but of course due to covid i will have to push it further back to a end of summer party).
First i wanted to do a joint party because i haven't planned a huge party in a long time but my friends wouldn't agree so I've reduced it to invite only whereas in previous years in would be open invitation.
I've wrote down a list and have about 180 people i want to invite - not all through me though because each of my closest friends (around 6 of them) are inviting around 10 people of there own :/. Also i want to let everyone who confirms to bring a plus 1 to make up for the fact its invite this year, im the type of person who feels bad for leaving people out, i feel like i'm fulfilling the stupid stereotypical "popular" girl cliche tbh

I have a relatively big house with a pool (hence why i want it in summer), but say 100-150 people end up coming (because obviously not everyone comes), do you think this is too much people?.
fyi - my parents are allowing me to have this party, i will tell neighbors etc etc.
"your parents are allowing you to have this party"

and how many people, even roughly, are they 'allowing' you to have? Do they have ay idea it would be 150+? And do they know your plan of letting each of your six friends bring a further 10 people of their choice, (i.e. not directly invited by you), and, even worse allowing each invitee to bring a +1?

Essentially, this is a recipe for a complete disaster. Unless you live in Windsor Castle, you can't possibly host 150+ people without some sort of riot ensuing, and I really doubt you parents have any ideas as to numbers, have they?

If you're wanting to invite this number of people, particularly 'indirectly', then you need a venue of some description. Absolutely not a residential house in a residential neighborhood, unless you want the police round and a report to the council.
Last edited by Reality Check; 3 months ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by AzureCeleste)
Woowwwww that's a lotttt of people and you say invite only but people will easily bring their friends who will bring their friends and it will reach a point where there is likely to be more people than the 180 because ultimately you can't control everyone who comes in and out when there is that many people. Unless you man the door the entire day/night to control who enters it is likely to be more than that
Yeahh true. Do you think i should invite a lot less then, maybe try shorten it down to 70? Also no plus ones?
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barnetlad
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You will not be allowed to have a large gathering in mid-August. Even those sports where the government is persuaded to reduce restrictions won't be allowed that many.
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Anonymous #2
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Why don't you just have a party with your closest friends instead?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Reality Check)
"your parents are allowing you to have this party"

and how many people, even roughly, are they 'allowing' you to have? Do they have ay idea it would be 150+? And do they know your plan of letting each of your six friends bring a further 10 people of their choice, (i.e. not directly invited by you), and, even worse allowing each invitee to bring a +1?

Essentially, this is a recipe for a complete disaster. Unless you live in Windsor Castle, you can't possibly host 150+ people without some sort of riot ensuing, and I really doubt you parents have any ideas as to numbers, have they?

If you're wanting to invite this number of people, particularly 'indirectly', then you need a venue of some description. Absolutely not a residential house in a residential neighborhood, unless you want the police round and a report to the council.
tbh no lol . they just said not too many people though. I mean , once my parents had a party for my brothers 12th birthday and invited 300 people! So i dont really know what they mean but i will ask them.
Do you think i should shorten the list down to say 70-90 and NO plus ones? I'm letting my friends bring some friends because imo its more fun when there's people who you don't know at a party, its nice getting to know other people etc,
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Why don't you just have a party with your closest friends instead?
Just a tradition i guess.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by barnetlad)
You will not be allowed to have a large gathering in mid-August. Even those sports where the government is persuaded to reduce restrictions won't be allowed that many.
damn. i didnt know that. I'll have to just do a Halloween indoors house party of some **** lol
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Deggs_14
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You should look at renting a venue or something, 150 people at your house will be too many considering the coronavirus limitations and is impractical for a residential home.
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Surnia
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You may live in a big house, but most rooms are going to be off-limits to guests, so how much space will you honestly have for all these people? How many bathrooms could they use? What will you do if it rains?

How are you going to control who attends if friends and invitees are bringing extras? What if friends bring alcohol? How do you stop people messing around in the pool? How are you going to restrict the noise outside?

Even in normal circumstances you would be better off with a handful of close friends for a bbq. That way you can relax and enjoy yourself, talk to everyone who is there and make sure your parents still have a habitable house at the end of the night.
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gjd800
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(Original post by Reality Check)
"your parents are allowing you to have this party"

and how many people, even roughly, are they 'allowing' you to have? Do they have ay idea it would be 150+? And do they know your plan of letting each of your six friends bring a further 10 people of their choice, (i.e. not directly invited by you), and, even worse allowing each invitee to bring a +1?

Essentially, this is a recipe for a complete disaster. Unless you live in Windsor Castle, you can't possibly host 150+ people without some sort of riot ensuing, and I really doubt you parents have any ideas as to numbers, have they?

If you're wanting to invite this number of people, particularly 'indirectly', then you need a venue of some description. Absolutely not a residential house in a residential neighborhood, unless you want the police round and a report to the council.
Yup

This is why I'd rather go the pub. At least then I can leave when everyone inevitably does my head in :lol:
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Reality Check
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(Original post by Anonymous)
tbh no lol . they just said not too many people though. I mean , once my parents had a party for my brothers 12th birthday and invited 300 people! So i dont really know what they mean but i will ask them.
Do you think i should shorten the list down to say 70-90 and NO plus ones? I'm letting my friends bring some friends because imo its more fun when there's people who you don't know at a party, its nice getting to know other people etc,
Yes, I'd definitely ask your folks for a definitive number as to how many you are allowed to invite. And also very important not to allow any +1s. I understand what you mean about it being nice having people at a party who you don't know, but that's really true of other people's parties :laugh: It's really important to be able to control the situation if you're hosting a party in your own premises, and that includes knowing exactly who is there.

Even though 70 is a much more sensible number, you still can't really prevent it spiralling out of control: a party hosted by your parents for a birthday party is a very different thing from one you're organising, where the numbers are likely to get out of hand and you will lose control of the situation. I'd really encourage you to find a venue to host this party, and spare you, your parents and your neighbours of any trouble or issues which could well arise. You may well also find that you can't hold a party in August due to ongoing coronavirus restrictions, so it's not a good idea to make any definite plans until this is known more.

Sorry to be a bit of an old fart about this, but I've seen too many house parties get totally out of control over the years, and they include far fewer people than you're talking about. It's not worth the risk, when you hire a venue and do it that way.
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Reality Check
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(Original post by gjd800)
Yup

This is why I'd rather go the pub. At least then I can leave when everyone inevitably does my head in :lol:
Oh, you do that too? :laugh: I was known for just downing a pint and leaving abruptly because 'I'd had enough'. I do it on the phone as well, if I start getting bored. I say 'going now, bye' and put the phone down.

And people call me rude... :laugh:
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gjd800
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(Original post by Reality Check)
Oh, you do that too? :laugh: I was known for just downing a pint and leaving abruptly because 'I'd had enough'. I do it on the phone as well, if I start getting bored. I say 'going now, bye' and put the phone down.

And people call me rude... :laugh:
All the time :lol:

My mates are used to it and are like 'we'll see you in a bit!' but other people think it rude. It's better than me staying and being a nark :lol:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Reality Check)
Yes, I'd definitely ask your folks for a definitive number as to how many you are allowed to invite. And also very important not to allow any +1s. I understand what you mean about it being nice having people at a party who you don't know, but that's really true of other people's parties :laugh: It's really important to be able to control the situation if you're hosting a party in your own premises, and that includes knowing exactly who is there.

Even though 70 is a much more sensible number, you still can't really prevent it spiralling out of control: a party hosted by your parents for a birthday party is a very different thing from one you're organising, where the numbers are likely to get out of hand and you will lose control of the situation. I'd really encourage you to find a venue to host this party, and spare you, your parents and your neighbours of any trouble or issues which could well arise. You may well also find that you can't hold a party in August due to ongoing coronavirus restrictions, so it's not a good idea to make any definite plans until this is known more.

Sorry to be a bit of an old fart about this, but I've seen too many house parties get totally out of control over the years, and they include far fewer people than you're talking about. It's not worth the risk, when you hire a venue and do it that way.
okay yeah. i might just have a smaller thing with just 20 close friends, but even then they will be like can i bring a few friends, on the day on the party ( i've done the same thing to other people before aha). Yeah i've got time and don't even know if its going to go ahead so i'll see. Yep i've been to some crazy house parties too. they were pretty fun for me but thinking about the girl who hosted it damn the next day cleaning up must've been hell lol.
I guess i just wanted a big thing because its the tradition and thats what my friends really want me to do.
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Reality Check
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(Original post by gjd800)
All the time :lol:

My mates are used to it and are like 'we'll see you in a bit!' but other people think it rude. It's better than me staying and being a nark :lol:
Exactly the same as me. Is it better to stay on the phone bored shitless and actually doing something else entirely like browsing the internet or watching the telly whilst going 'mmn...yes...no...really...mmmn. .' at the right moments? Or it it better to go 'OK - have you got anything else to say because I haven't? No? Good, by then'?

One is more honest. :laugh:
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(Original post by Anonymous)
okay yeah. i might just have a smaller thing with just 20 close friends, but even then they will be like can i bring a few friends, on the day on the party ( i've done the same thing to other people before aha). Yeah i've got time and don't even know if its going to go ahead so i'll see. Yep i've been to some crazy house parties too. they were pretty fun for me but thinking about the girl who hosted it damn the next day cleaning up must've been hell lol.
I guess i just wanted a big thing because its the tradition and thats what my friends really want me to do.
I do understand where you're coming from. But do what's right for you, not for your friends: and that doesn't involve a giant, out-of-hand house party at your house.

Having twenty close friends round (coronavirus permitting) is much, much more sensible and, believe me, you'll enjoy it much more, because you can relax and actually enjoy it - rather than worrying about your house getting trashed as more and more people squeeze through the door and things start going crazy. You can have a barbecue or something, and it can be intimate with your close friends and really enjoyable. If you want to follow that up with a much bigger, rowdier party, then you could look at getting a venue to do it later in August. You get the best of both worlds then, and I think your parents would thank you for it
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