Feel guilty about looking for another dog

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MikePL
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Long story short my beloved dog of 15 years had to be put to sleep at the weekend and me and my family are all devastated, he was everything to us and we just miss him so much. He was always there for us when one of us was upset and he would sleep in my room at night and I just can't get used to him not being there. On top of that we just can't get used to the house being empty whether it be just the sound of him walking around, or him pushing his bowl when he wanted food or him snoring during the day. And it's awful coming home after we've been out and not being greeted by him wagging his tail and being happy to see us. It's so bad that I can't even stay in the house on my own it feels so empty and lifeless.

So this has led to a discussion me and my family had last night. We think we want another dog, we all agree the house is too quiet and we just think of all the love we can give to another dog and think of all the enjoyment it could get from running around our big garden. But my mum and sister think getting another dog will help them grieve for what we've lost but I want to get my grieving over before welcoming a new dog into the home.

I've been looking last night and this morning at dogs online and I just feel so guilty because I feel like it's as though we're trying to replace him which we could never do but at the same time I can't stand being without a dog companion. We did actually have a dog before our last one and we waited two years before we brought our last dog home but this time I feel as though it may only be a few months. Apart from that two year gap there has always been a dog in the home and I don't think the house feels the same without one.

Has anybody else ever experienced anything like this and what did you do?
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Littleone2110
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I am so sorry about your dog... I can’t imagine that pain. I know that when we had cats that we had to rehome, I was desperate for more. They’ll never be the same but they do help and they’re a memory of your best friend. I’m not sure. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for your loss.
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by MikePL)
Long story short my beloved dog of 15 years had to be put to sleep at the weekend and me and my family are all devastated, he was everything to us and we just miss him so much. He was always there for us when one of us was upset and he would sleep in my room at night and I just can't get used to him not being there. On top of that we just can't get used to the house being empty whether it be just the sound of him walking around, or him pushing his bowl when he wanted food or him snoring during the day. And it's awful coming home after we've been out and not being greeted by him wagging his tail and being happy to see us. It's so bad that I can't even stay in the house on my own it feels so empty and lifeless.

So this has led to a discussion me and my family had last night. We think we want another dog, we all agree the house is too quiet and we just think of all the love we can give to another dog and think of all the enjoyment it could get from running around our big garden. But my mum and sister think getting another dog will help them grieve for what we've lost but I want to get my grieving over before welcoming a new dog into the home.

I've been looking last night and this morning at dogs online and I just feel so guilty because I feel like it's as though we're trying to replace him which we could never do but at the same time I can't stand being without a dog companion. We did actually have a dog before our last one and we waited two years before we brought our last dog home but this time I feel as though it may only be a few months. Apart from that two year gap there has always been a dog in the home and I don't think the house feels the same without one.

Has anybody else ever experienced anything like this and what did you do?
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is absolutely heartbreaking and I know how you're feeling. I don't think you should feel guilty for wanting to get another dog. You absolutely aren't replacing him, if anything you're helping yourself to remember him by having another dog in the house reminding you of all the good times you shared with him. You won't be pushing him aside or forgetting about him if you have a new puppy. Don't rush into it, let your family know that you need a bit more time to grieve before you start seriously considering looking for a new dog.
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MikePL
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(Original post by DrawTheLine)
I'm so sorry for your loss. Losing a pet is absolutely heartbreaking and I know how you're feeling. I don't think you should feel guilty for wanting to get another dog. You absolutely aren't replacing him, if anything you're helping yourself to remember him by having another dog in the house reminding you of all the good times you shared with him. You won't be pushing him aside or forgetting about him if you have a new puppy. Don't rush into it, let your family know that you need a bit more time to grieve before you start seriously considering looking for a new dog.
Over the last few days me and my family have been talking about it and we all agree that this house just isn’t the same anymore, I can’t even stand to be alone because when everyone else used to go out it would just be me and the dog so I feel absolutely lonely now he’s not here. So we’ve looked and we’ve found a breeder who breeds the same type of dog that we used to have but a different colour as I think getting one that looks exactly like him will be too painful and will lead to me thinking the new dog is him.

So we’re going to visit the puppies this Saturday I still feel guilty about this because it still feels somewhat to me like I’m trying to replace him but I think I will only know how I truly feel once I’m holding a puppy.
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LovelyMrFox
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Im so sorry to hear. Loosing a pet is always awful, and I know the pain you are feeling :console:
There is nothing wrong with getting another dog. You are not replacing him, you are just adding on to the family.
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MikePL
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Im so sorry to hear. Loosing a pet is always awful, and I know the pain you are feeling :console:
There is nothing wrong with getting another dog. You are not replacing him, you are just adding on to the family.
I’m trying to see it as though it shows how much my dog meant to me that I want to give another dog a loving home and to look after but there’s always that niggling thought at the back of my head
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by MikePL)
I’m trying to see it as though it shows how much my dog meant to me that I want to give another dog a loving home and to look after but there’s always that niggling thought at the back of my head
Once you get a new dog, that feeling should go away. I think it would be a great idea for you to get another dog, as you and your family really seem to be leaning that way.
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MikePL
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Once you get a new dog, that feeling should go away. I think it would be a great idea for you to get another dog, as you and your family really seem to be leaning that way.
I think we are leaning that way, we even mentioned names earlier but I just feel like it’s disrespecting the memory of him by getting another dog so soon.

We did actually have a dog before him too but there was a 2 year gap between them whereas this time it may only be a few weeks or months.

But I do feel as though the universe is trying to send me a message, I’ve always been a big believer of stuff like that. So we went to the vets earlier to collect his ashes and whilst we where in the vets there was only 2 other dogs in there. One was a cavalier King Charles spaniel that looked like our first dog and the other was a Black and Tan cocker spaniel that looks a lot like the one we’re going looking at this weekend. So it sort of felt like a past, present and future thing because our previous dog was in there, our current dog was in my arms in a casket and then our potential future dog was in there.

I dunno maybe I’m reading too much into it but it felt like a sign.
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by MikePL)
I think we are leaning that way, we even mentioned names earlier but I just feel like it’s disrespecting the memory of him by getting another dog so soon.

We did actually have a dog before him too but there was a 2 year gap between them whereas this time it may only be a few weeks or months.

But I do feel as though the universe is trying to send me a message, I’ve always been a big believer of stuff like that. So we went to the vets earlier to collect his ashes and whilst we where in the vets there was only 2 other dogs in there. One was a cavalier King Charles spaniel that looked like our first dog and the other was a Black and Tan cocker spaniel that looks a lot like the one we’re going looking at this weekend. So it sort of felt like a past, present and future thing because our previous dog was in there, our current dog was in my arms in a casket and then our potential future dog was in there.

I dunno maybe I’m reading too much into it but it felt like a sign.
If you think it was a sign, I think you should get the dog :hugs:
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Issakatie
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Sorry to hear your dog passed away, it really is tough
My cat went to heaven 1.5 months ago now, I have considered a new cat but I felt I wanted to wait until I was able to give the new cat all my love and attention again. I thought I would be comparing the new cat to my old one, not able to love the new one as much and would be looking for something to fill the space left behind, physically and emotionally, and wanting to receive the love and company of a cat again. So I have decided not to, probably for a long while, but will consider fostering soon.

However everyone is different and if you feel like you are ready for another dog and can care for and love them as much as you need to then go for it!
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CoolCavy
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So sorry to hear of your loss :hugs:
It's really hard but try not to feel guilty, if you feel like the time is right there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking for another pet. One of the worst things about owning an animal is sadly their lifespan being shorter than a humans is sadly inevitable. Try not to think of it as as getting a replacement but rather just continuing your old dog's legacy with an addition :hugs:
When you do eventually get your next dog its hard but try not to compare their personalities. I've experienced this myself as i've had multiple rodents, it's hard not to compare the new ones and thing the old one was so much more tame/friendly etc. Animals are all unique and even with the same upbringing they won't all turn out the same. Most of the time this isnt even a conscious comparison but just something you find yourself thinking in the first few weeks/months.
Best of luck with your new furry friend :hugs:
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MikePL
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(Original post by CoolCavy)
So sorry to hear of your loss :hugs:
It's really hard but try not to feel guilty, if you feel like the time is right there is absolutely nothing wrong with looking for another pet. One of the worst things about owning an animal is sadly their lifespan being shorter than a humans is sadly inevitable. Try not to think of it as as getting a replacement but rather just continuing your old dog's legacy with an addition :hugs:
When you do eventually get your next dog its hard but try not to compare their personalities. I've experienced this myself as i've had multiple rodents, it's hard not to compare the new ones and thing the old one was so much more tame/friendly etc. Animals are all unique and even with the same upbringing they won't all turn out the same. Most of the time this isnt even a conscious comparison but just something you find yourself thinking in the first few weeks/months.
Best of luck with your new furry friend :hugs:
Thank you, I think as a family we all know that we’d be able to give a dog a loving home just like we did with the one we’ve just lost and the love and sadness were currently feeling we can channel all that into a new dog.

This house and our garden is too big not to have a dog in it and we just keep thinking how much enjoyment another dog can get from running around it.
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