I fear I might lose my sister

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Anonymous #1
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Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
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My sister suffers from severe depression and anxiety. Most of the time she comes across as okay. When shes bad, even the slightest everyday task becomes impossible to her. She isn't happy with where her life is right now. As she nears her 30s, all of her friends seem to be moving out and starting their own families while she lives a life she hates. Just when life seems to be looking hopeful for her, it takes the smallest thing to send her spiralling back into despair. She says she has felt like this for most of her life but she has been feeling suicidal for the past 5 years now.

I try to do my best to talk to her. She won't listen to advice, from anyone. All I can do is sit there and listen. When she talks about killing herself, I don't know what to say. From my perspective she has so much to live for and so much potential but no one who tries to help understands how she thinks. Medication just numbs her and she says that counselling didn't help. I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do.
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SuperiorPotato
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Has she tried getting professional help?
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itscourtchicks
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If she’s had previous suicide attempts before then I would say she needs an urgent referral.
What’s her situation like at the minute? Has she a job? In education? Living with your parents? A good friend group?
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leopard202
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Hey, I'm sorry you're experiencing this, I have a similar situation with my sibling. Sometimes you lose sleep over it, you can't control people and something it feels like you have no power to make them happier.

What's her situation with work/friends/health (as user above asked) and does she self harm or display suicidal behaviour?

It sounds like it is very severe and deep rooted, but you are already doing some important things such as listening to her and she is opening up to you. It's fine if you don't have something to say, sometimes people don't want advice, they just need to be heard. Speak with her regularly and kindly, make thoughtful gestures and make her feel like she has her family nearby. Treatment not working well enough is tricky. Maybe counselling is not enough and there are other types/methods of therapy which might tackle more of her specific problems?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by SuperiorPotato)
Has she tried getting professional help?
Shes seen a counsellor in the past but she stopped going after a while. We keep advising her to see another professional but she doesn't see how it would help.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by itscourtchicks)
If she’s had previous suicide attempts before then I would say she needs an urgent referral.
What’s her situation like at the minute? Has she a job? In education? Living with your parents? A good friend group?
As far as I know, she hasn't attempted. She has a job, though, she ends up disliking most of her jobs. She rents her own place currently. She knows many people but has few close friends. Her close friends also seem to have very troubled lives. She wouldn't be a close friend to someone who's life is in a better position.
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Pathway
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There isn't much you can do if she doesn't want help. Watch out for her, yes, and of course if you are concerned for her safety speak to the appropriate professionals (ambulance or police depending on if she's in her property or not). Counselling for someone with MH issues is not gonna be helpful as they need therapy. Counselling is more for every day issues. Please don't neglect yourself either, if you're struggling to manage the worry of your sister, then it might be worth seeking help for yourself. It can be very challenging to be a relative of someone with significant mental health troubles, it's good to seek support for yourself as well.
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shebk
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(Original post by Anonymous)
As far as I know, she hasn't attempted. She has a job, though, she ends up disliking most of her jobs. She rents her own place currently. She knows many people but has few close friends. Her close friends also seem to have very troubled lives. She wouldn't be a close friend to someone who's life is in a better position.
What's her job?
Does she have boyfriend?
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by shebk)
What's her job?
Does she have boyfriend?
She works as a receptionist which doesn't pay well. She doesn't have a boyfriend.
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PAPYRUS-UK
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(Original post by Anonymous)
My sister suffers from severe depression and anxiety. Most of the time she comes across as okay. When shes bad, even the slightest everyday task becomes impossible to her. She isn't happy with where her life is right now. As she nears her 30s, all of her friends seem to be moving out and starting their own families while she lives a life she hates. Just when life seems to be looking hopeful for her, it takes the smallest thing to send her spiralling back into despair. She says she has felt like this for most of her life but she has been feeling suicidal for the past 5 years now.

I try to do my best to talk to her. She won't listen to advice, from anyone. All I can do is sit there and listen. When she talks about killing herself, I don't know what to say. From my perspective she has so much to live for and so much potential but no one who tries to help understands how she thinks. Medication just numbs her and she says that counselling didn't help. I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do.
Hello,

It can be really difficult when you are concerned about somebody that you love and care about. Supporting somebody who is experiencing suicidal thoughts can bring a whole range of emotions, including that feeling of being at a loss.

At PAPYRUS we also support anybody that is concerned about somebody else, through our helpline HOPELINEUK. HOPELINEUK can give you advice about how to support somebody experiencing thoughts of suicide, and also provide a safe space for you to turn to talk through any of you worries. The opening hours are Monday - Friday 9am - 10pm, and weekends 2pm-10pm. You can contact HOPELINEUK for free, anonymously and confidentially by:

Phone: 0800 068 4141
Text: 07860039967
Email: [email protected]

Best Wishes,
Rosie
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shebk
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(Original post by Anonymous)
She works as a receptionist which doesn't pay well. She doesn't have a boyfriend.
Has she finished university?
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