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I’m too introverted for my own good

I’m 23, and an only child, growing up, I have had a lot of good friends and always played, and still play, many a team sport. I do enjoy the company of people, but come night time, or after spending a certain amount of time with people, i’m very happy in my own company. I’ve never had a girlfriend (i’m so far behind now) and the times i’ve shared a bed with girls, i just can’t sleep, i’m just so used to being on my own. Waking up in the morning, i’m happy just being on my own. This is an issue, as despite wanting kids etc, i don’t have the motivation to date etc.. if i’m being brutally honest, i guess i’ll do it once i feel someones adding value to my life, and i’m adding to theirs, i.e through happiness. Sex and company aren’t big enough drivers unfortunately.. i see my friends relationships, the good and the bad, and i just doesn’t seem worth it.. despite playing team sports, and ones that involve pretty extroverted people, i never feel as if i have anything to talk about with anybody.. i try to funny and nice, i’m not stupid, i have decent general knowledge, a science degree, i’m in good shape and like to think outside the box.. and often think a ponder far too much about life’s big questions. i just get the vibe that i bore people, and i’m always the first one to receive the ‘banter’ and made fun of (in a nice way) in the socials etc.. Don’t get me wrong, i love a party as next as the next guy, but these days, Saturday night on my own watching a film ON MY OWN, sounds much more appealing than a night on the town.. i currently work full time in a lab, and hope to go into medicine (psychiatry) in the future, i also still live with my parents.
So i guess i’m asking for advice as i’m going to be the same in my 30’s, 40’s 50’s etc.. is having kids and being with the wrong person, better than being on your own for the rest of your life and potentially having regrets on my death bed? I guess i’ve thought about everything far too much for my own good, i’m now scared to do anything.
“Don’t be so open minded, that the wind passes straight through your ears”

Reply 1

Anonymous #2

I have no advice but I am 29 and in the same boat as you. I'm very social at work with people, but I love spending my time off on my own. I love living on my own and don't see that changing in my 30s or beyond.

Reply 2

Anonymous #3

Original post by Anonymous

i never feel as if i have anything to talk about with anybody

often think a ponder far too much about life’s big questions.

i just get the vibe that i bore people

These are definitely all immediate consequences of spending too much time alone, and I relate very, very strongly! I'm a similar age and I've been too introverted for my own good to lol. Was too happy to just do nothing at university and enjoy my time alone. But I missed out on so many opportunities, social, sport, work experience, everything. I've resolved to change though. I do think it's possible to enjoy your own company too much to the point that you miss out on the important things in life. At some point you'll end up regretting it. So even if it feels a bit unnatural, put yourself out there and make the most of life!

Reply 3

BadgerboyJC

Original post by Anonymous

Thank you for the advice! At what age, and what was it that made you realise you had to change?

Reply 4

Anonymous #3

Original post by BadgerboyJC

Thank you for the advice! At what age, and what was it that made you realise you had to change?

I've just graduated from a Master's, but I realised at the end of third year. I had a much better experience in my final year as a result, but regretted not bothering for the previous three years! I still could've done better (still didn't talk to my flatmates) but I did well enough to turn things around and land myself a good job, which is great. Going into the working world I'm determined to take all the opportunities that I get to talk to people and experience life, three years of reclusion is enough for one lifetime lol.

Reply 5

Anonymous #3

Original post by BadgerboyJC

Thank you for the advice! At what age, and what was it that made you realise you had to change?

Sorry so I mean to some extent at 21, and properly at 22 (age I am now). I'll be 23 soon after starting work so I suppose we're at the same stage in life :smile:

. I feel like the change was just a result of finally maturing a bit and realising that time is ticking, the last thing I want to regret a misspent youth.