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    (Original post by shamrock92)
    Grow up. You call yourself a Democrat? Fundamentalism doesn't mean anything, it's just a value term.
    Nice buzzwords. £10 says you can't explain any of them or why you hold that opinion.

    Fundementalism certainly does exist. Al Qaeda all a conspiracy theory?
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    She's being petty and narrow-minded.

    My girlfriend is a catholic and I'm a very strong atheist.
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    you know, this is a simple question with what is most likely a very complicated answer. she may likely believe that to "yoke" herself to an unbeliever is wrong, a la paul, or she may feel that she wants to share everything with a potential boyfriend, including her religious experiences and have them on the same spiritual page.

    most people would describe me as a unitarian raised in the judeo/christian tradition, and i seriously dated two atheists. joe, especially, was very firm in his belief that there is no such thing as a soul, and told me one time that i didn't have a soul. not only was this a source of an argument, but it showed me that he could never understand something that was extremely important to me, the belief that the beauty of humanity comes from not only our ability to reason, but our ability to see beyond obvious divisions and unite as people through love and faith.

    kooky, yeah. but she may be afraid that you won't be able to fully know her, and thus are not worth the romantic effort.
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    Hmm, well I don't know about 'wrong', but if they'd prefer to have a relationship with a Christian, I think it's because they feel like they'd share a set of common values, something they can bond over. That's why I want a Muslim boyfriend, someone who I don't have to explain my every move to (e.g., I have a curfew, I find Muslim parents tend to be a bit stricter.)
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    Christianity is a major part of a person's life and alot of decisions are made using your religion.
    Someone who is non-Christian won't be able to understand the difficulties, they may not agree with some moral issues and decissions and also the Christian may want to discuss Christianity but can't.

    I'm a Christian and wouldn't go out with a non Christian for these reasons. I would rather have a Christian boyfriend so as to discuss our religion, help each other through difficulties, have a good influence on each other ect.
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    I think she's using it as an easy non-conflictual way to say she doesn't fancy you.
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    (Original post by AustralAlien)
    It is possible she is just using it as an easy excuse to not hurt you by saying she doesn't have feelings for you. Now I am not saying this is the case it's just a possibility
    I doubt it very much. I agree with the statements its a clash of beliefs, it just becomes really difficult
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    To be honest, I think you should just ask her exactly why. I know it hurts you now, but if she really feels this way, it's probably for the best. I honestly can't blame her to be honest, as I an see myself in the opposite position. I'm an atheist, and I could very well imagine being annoyed if my partner was very religious.
    I would definitely never date a smoker, as I'd be worried about their health and very annoyed at their disgusting habit.
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    we don't say we don't want to go out with non-christians as such, it prob just means that you'll end up compromising your relgion as the expense of spending time with your non-beleiver partner. I'm not saying they are necessarily a bad influence but with a christian gf/bf, one is more likely to live the life God wants them to live with someone that will help spur them on religiously when times may get harsh - it also means that christians are less likely to sin against God as they and their partner will share similar christian values.
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    It's realistic really. If a Christian has a real love of Jesus, then that is what they choose their spouse by. They want a spouse who has a devotion to Jesus which outweighs any devotion to you, because in being devoted to Jesus, this will in turn mean devotion to you as their spouse. (And also, no human can give the kind of attention one needs in life because humans are so fickle- and that attention can only be met and given by Jesus).

    Also, as a Christian grows and grows in their love for Jesus, this will drive a wedge in the marriage because the unbeliever will not be able to understand why they want to devote so much time to doing things for Jesus. Paul did not say do not marry Christians because we're some part of an elitist group. No, it's realistic and is a means to protect your faith. Moreover, a Christian should want to marry another Christian because it will be an opportunity to share in a growing faith.

    There can be no compromises simply because otherwise you overestimate your ability to conquer a) temptation, and b) ability to grow in faith for Jesus alone. No human is superman/woman, and they cannot master their own lives in the way God can. Therefore, it is imperative that Christians marry other Christians- because otherwise it's a death sentence, in more ways than one.
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    ^^ perfectly put
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    +rep for that too ^^
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    (Original post by Democracy)
    Nice buzzwords. £10 says you can't explain any of them or why you hold that opinion.

    Fundementalism certainly does exist. Al Qaeda all a conspiracy theory?
    Fundamentalism isn't inherently wrong. It's not wrong to be radical by nature. It just means you're at odds with conventional doctrine. Indeed, fundamentalism as a term isn't immutable, but is just a handy word - people who opposed slavery would have been called fundamentalist. Therefore, don't oppose Al Qaeda because it's fundamentalist, oppose it because it has negative effects on the world.

    Similarly, don't oppose what you call fudamentalism in Christians just because they're at odds with most of society's views. Oppose it, if you must, because you think it's wrong.
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    (Original post by shamrock92)
    Fundamentalism isn't inherently wrong. It's not wrong to be radical by nature. It just means you're at odds with conventional doctrine. Indeed, fundamentalism as a term isn't immutable, but is just a handy word - people who opposed slavery would have been called fundamentalist. Therefore, don't oppose Al Qaeda because it's fundamentalist, oppose it because it has negative effects on the world.

    Similarly, don't oppose what you call fudamentalism in Christians just because they're at odds with most of society's views. Oppose it, if you must, because you think it's wrong.
    Fine.Anyone who adheres that literally to a religious text is a fool. They are at best metaphorical and symbolic and at worst a pack of lies. Absolutely no need to wreck your love life over it.

    Okay, you do know what you're talking about. *Gives you £10* :p:
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    (Original post by Democracy)
    Fine.Anyone who adheres that literally to a religious text is a fool. They are at best metaphorical and symbolic and at worst a pack of lies. Absolutely no need to wreck your love life over it.

    Okay, you do know what you're talking about. *Gives you £10* :p:
    *buys Democracy pint with tenner and sits him down to debate and discuss*
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    I once went out with a Christian guy who later said we couldn't be together because I wasn't a "proper Christian" i.e. not into church going etc.
    I later found out he'd been two-timing me.....:rolleyes:
    That annoyed me a bit to be honest....hypocritical or patronising much?
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    (Original post by shamrock92)
    *buys Democracy pint with tenner and sits him down to debate and discuss*
    How very amiable of you

    *gets the second round*
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Apologies for lack of '?' - ran out of space in title bar.

    Keep as anon, person in question uses this.

    So, as per the question, why would someone who is a strong Christian feel unable to even think about getting into a relationship with someone who was respectful, tolerant and understanding, but not a fellow believer?

    I'm not trying to find arguments to fire back at her, she's made her decision, I respect that and I'll walk away if that's what she wants. I just want to be able to understand why she's made the decision she has.

    I just feel kinda hollow about the whole thing. Any words of advice would be appreciated.
    I think this is a repeat thread - there's another one called "Christianity vs Buddhism" which is pretty much the same.
    • #1
    • Thread Starter
    #1

    Thanks to everyone who's answered. It's helped a little.

    Yeah, as people have said, it does still grate a little, while I don't share the beliefs, I'd never criticise or belittle them, having been out with a Christian - though not of as strong beliefs as this one - before.

    To those who were saying it's an excuse for her simply not liking me that much, I do hear where you're coming from, perhaps I'm wrong for trusting her, but I do, and I believe her when she says it's not an excuse.

    Thanks all, something to think about.


    Guess there's not much chance of changing her mind?
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    (Original post by shamrock92)
    Because God says not to.

    Also because there will be a clash of ideas about sex etc.
    Lol, where?

    Negged.

    EDIT: Seems I've already recently negged you, lol. I wonder why that could be?
 
 
 
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