lonley

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 1 year ago
#1
i feel lonely. im not a loner as ive got friends who i keep in touch with loads, i live with huge family but i still feel lonely. i feel lonely in the sense that im not being true to anyone. im the oldest so i have to always help out siblings or parents. with my friends, we talk about things we are interested in but im naturally quite closed so i never talk about me. and now i have this feeling where i dont want to be closed anymore but at the same time i dont trust anyone.

is that weird? is it common? im a guy and 21 if it helps. maybe i need a girlfriend as i feel i can trust girls more but ive never had a girlfriend/saving it till marriage

i even ended up messaging an old friend, a girl, who i thought would be my wife but we ended up not being with each other as we didnt think we'd be allowed to get married. i havent spoken to her in years so me messaging her the other day was probably a big red flag for her.
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Anonymous #2
#2
Report 1 year ago
#2
Start trusting your friends with what you really feel, think and want. If they react badly then... they're not really your friends are they? People are much more closed than you think- you're not unusual. Most people are extremely insecure, so appear sociable and emotionally open but when you listen to what they're really saying, it doesn't actually directly tell you very much at all.

If you can talk enthusiastically and not take yourself too seriously, the right people will be drawn to you, boys AND girls alike. If you're lonely and withdrawn, perhaps you need some practice on your communication before embarking on serious relations with the opposite sex? Meanwhile, focus on things you enjoy, to stop sad and distracting thoughts from creeping in.

Just throw yourself out there and be slightly more open and vulnerable. It makes a person seem far more messily and beautifully human.
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Anonymous #3
#3
Report 1 year ago
#3
is good at giving advice.
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hagrid69
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#4
Report 1 year ago
#4
Ah I totally understand...(well maybe not about the girlfriend part lol). I’m also quite reserved when it comes to other people and try to avoid talking about myself because I don’t think others would care lmao.

The feeling of being alone despite being around lots of people is so real. You mention that being the oldest you always have to help out? Maybe you avoid talking about yourself to other people because you are used to caring for other people’s needs? And therefore you don’t feel ‘true’ to anyone because you don’t really talk about your own life/struggles? (Sorry if that’s too personal of a suggestion to make).

I don’t think it’s weird at all and probably quite common (I mean I can relate if that helps). Maybe as a guy you are less used to be emotionally vulnerable to other people? Especially with other guys I assume? (I wouldn’t know lol).

I’m not sure if looking for a girlfriend will solve your issue, but it might help to have someone you can trust and open up to, it doesn’t have to be a romantic partner (obviously it can be if you want to).

Ah it could be useful to reach out to your old friend (I don’t really know what you meant by not being allowed to get married to her? I don’t want to pry though). It might be a bit awkward if you haven’t spoken in years but if you think it’s valuable to restart that relationship, I think it’s worth a try.

Honestly I’m not sure what to tell you because I kind of feel the same way about being closed and not expressing my true self to other people for whatever reason. I’m really lucky that I have family members and friends who understand me and are willing to listen to me when I open up. I think it would be valuable to reach out the people you are closest to and feel like you can talk to.

Again, I know it’s a struggle to start opening up to people, but it’s really only with experience that we can change that. So I hope you can try to open up more!

We’re in this together don’t worry ✨
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