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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
I lost my virginity the other day With my boyfriend and I didn’t really see what the hype was about. I didn’t really feel anything pleasing but it didn’t hurt either. I just want to know how many time do I have to have sex to actually feel pleasure.
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Dunnig Kruger
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#2
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#2
It's not how many times. It's who you do it with that counts.

Most men are poor to mediocre at satisfying their partners in bed.

Give this one a few chances to improve a lot on this area. If he doesn't, dump him and start your search for a man that's comeptent at giving you the sexual pleasure that you deserve.

You might have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince.
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Hellohsjakodsmka
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#3
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#3
(Original post by AM.TSR)
It literally bugged out my screen so I had to delete it 😂😂
Omg I literally just deleted it too
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Anonymous #1
#4
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#4
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
It's not how many times. It's who you do it with that counts.

Most men are poor to mediocre at satisfying their partners in bed.

Give this one a few chances to improve a lot on this area. If he doesn't, dump him and start your search for a man that's comeptent at giving you the sexual pleasure that you deserve.

You might have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince.
I really do love my partner though and he does really try with me
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Anonymous #2
#5
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#5
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
It's not how many times. It's who you do it with that counts.

Most men are poor to mediocre at satisfying their partners in bed.

Give this one a few chances to improve a lot on this area. If he doesn't, dump him and start your search for a man that's comeptent at giving you the sexual pleasure that you deserve.

You might have to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince.
lol no one 'deserves' sexual pleasure
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Anonymous #2
#6
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#6
(Original post by Anonymous)
I really do love my partner though and he does really try with me
Ignore that, you don't have to 'dump him' just because the sex isn't great.
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Anonymous #1
#7
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Ignore that, you don't have to 'dump him' just because the sex isn't great.
I was thinking that too lol
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PTMalewski
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#8
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Just read on the anathomy of vagina and apply if you want to feel any pleasure.

I genuinely don't know why some women want to have men for sexual pleasure. One has to be daft to keep a whole pig for one sausage.
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Dunnig Kruger
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#9
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#9
(Original post by Anonymous)
I really do love my partner though and he does really try with me
I've said this so many times in so many threads:

Love is great. But it's not enough for happiness in a long term romantic relationship. You need compatability in a few key areas as well. One of those key areas is sexual compatability.

You are not sexually compatible with your boyfriend at the moment. There's a chance that he may become compatible with you, which as I've said you should give him. If he can't or won't take that chance you should dump him and start your search for someone that will love you and you will love back that is also sexually compatible with you. There are enough men out there that will fit this bill.
(Original post by Anonymous)
lol no one 'deserves' sexual pleasure
Everyone with reasonable levels of integrity deserves sexual pleasure. In the same way that everyone deserves to have a roof over their head and food in their belly.

I can't think of any reason why any person who acts in a reasonably moral, ethical and legal way would not deserve sexual pleasure. Can you?
(Original post by PTMalewski)
Just read on the anathomy of vagina and apply if you want to feel any pleasure.

I genuinely don't know why some women want to have men for sexual pleasure. One has to be daft to keep a whole pig for one sausage.
It's not just the sexual pleasure. It's the whole companionship and partnership thing that comes with having a romantic partner.

If you have a romantic partner, you might as well have one that gives you a satisfying amount of sexual pleasure. You might as well be with someone that makes you happy in the bedroom and outside the bedroom.
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Anonymous #2
#10
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(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
Everyone with reasonable levels of integrity deserves sexual pleasure. In the same way that everyone deserves to have a roof over their head and food in their belly.

I can't think of any reason why any person who acts in a reasonably moral, ethical and legal way would not deserve sexual pleasure. Can you?
I suppose you also think that every guy is entitled to a girlfriend? Why does acting with integrity make someone deserving of sexual pleasure? Food, shelter, safety etc. are basic human rights. Sexual pleasure is not, and is not necessary for survival.
(Original post by PTMalewski)
Just read on the anathomy of vagina and apply if you want to feel any pleasure.

I genuinely don't know why some women want to have men for sexual pleasure. One has to be daft to keep a whole pig for one sausage.
LOL I've never heard that one before :rofl:
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Dunnig Kruger
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#11
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I suppose you also think that every guy is entitled to a girlfriend? Why does acting with integrity make someone deserving of sexual pleasure? Food, shelter, safety etc. are basic human rights. Sexual pleasure is not, and is not necessary for survival.
People who do serious crimes deserve to be locked up in prison.
People who are horrible nasty people don't deserve to have a romantic partner either.

Driving a car is not a basic human right. But everyone that has passed their driving test and acted in a responsible enough way and has paid the money deserves to drive a car.

There are lots of things that aren't human rights and that aren't necessary for survival that the original poster deserves to have.
That's just the way things are in the modern world.
Where we all have certain freedoms - as long as we act in a law abiding way (or don't get caught).

There is no law at all - thankfully - that says that the original poster must stay with her boyfriend that isn't giving her sexual pleasure. There is no law at all that says that she shouldn't keep trying different men as sexual partners till she finds one that loves her and who she loves back that enhances her life outside the bedroom as well as inside it.
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Anonymous #3
#12
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#12
(Original post by Anonymous)
I lost my virginity the other day With my boyfriend and I didn’t really see what the hype was about. I didn’t really feel anything pleasing but it didn’t hurt either. I just want to know how many time do I have to have sex to actually feel pleasure.
He’s probably the wrong person to feel pleasure u need to be with someone u love
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Anonymous #2
#13
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#13
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
People who do serious crimes deserve to be locked up in prison.
People who are horrible nasty people don't deserve to have a romantic partner either.

Driving a car is not a basic human right. But everyone that has passed their driving test and acted in a responsible enough way and has paid the money deserves to drive a car.

There are lots of things that aren't human rights and that aren't necessary for survival that the original poster deserves to have.
That's just the way things are in the modern world.
Where we all have certain freedoms - as long as we act in a law abiding way (or don't get caught).

There is no law at all - thankfully - that says that the original poster must stay with her boyfriend that isn't giving her sexual pleasure. There is no law at all that says that she shouldn't keep trying different men as sexual partners till she finds one that loves her and who she loves back that enhances her life outside the bedroom as well as inside it.
Ok, I still don't agree that a good person 'deserves' sexual pleasure though. I don't see the logic there, which is on the other hand apparent in the examples you gave.

Yeah I didn't imply that there should be such laws. It's just that you told her to dump him, not suggested it, when that's very unlikely to be the right decision. Not everyone has 'quality of sex' as such a steadfast dealbreaker in a relationship.
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DrawTheLine
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#14
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#14
(Original post by Anonymous)
I lost my virginity the other day With my boyfriend and I didn’t really see what the hype was about. I didn’t really feel anything pleasing but it didn’t hurt either. I just want to know how many time do I have to have sex to actually feel pleasure.
Your first few times having sex probably won't be amazing. You are both still quite young and inexperienced so it'll take a bit of time to figure out what you like, what you don't etc. Don't be worried or concerned, just keep trying different things. Talk to each other. If something isn't feeling quite right or you want to see if something else feels better, communicate that and try it out. You'll get there eventually. Nobody is an expert in sex on their first time, so give yourself and your partner a break. You'll get there.
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Anonymous #1
#15
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#15
(Original post by Anonymous)
He’s probably the wrong person to feel pleasure u need to be with someone u love
But I do love him a lot actually
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Anonymous #1
#16
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#16
Honestly lol I feel like alcohol just spices it up lol
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Dunnig Kruger
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#17
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#17
(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah I didn't imply that there should be such laws. It's just that you told her to dump him, not suggested it, when that's very unlikely to be the right decision. Not everyone has 'quality of sex' as such a steadfast dealbreaker in a relationship.
That is a gross misrepresentation of what I actually said.

I said "Give this one a few chances to improve a lot on this area. If he doesn't, dump him and start your search for a man that's comeptent at giving you the sexual pleasure that you deserve."

There's a huge difference between giving him a few chances to improve a lot in his love making (and then dumping him if he doesn't improve). And telling her outright to dump him.

Dumping him after giving him a few chances to improve at his love making is 10,000% the right decision.
Because staying with him would come from a position of scarcity. Whilst leaving him would come from a position of abundance.
The abundant mindset is a way better one to have than the scarcity mindset.

If anyone doesn't have sexual incompatablity as one of their core relationship dealbreakers, then that is up to them.
However it is not possible for two people to be happy together in the long term if they are not sexually compatible.
I know it's anecdotal evidence, but every couple that I know of where they haven't been sexually compatible has either been unhappy or has broken apart. With there usually being a period of unhappiness leading up to the relationship breaking down. And by breaking down I mean either the couple separating or one or both of them having sex with someone else.

Sexual incompatability isn't so bad in the short term. In the long term it is.
There is zero chance that the OP will be happy with her boyfriend in the long term if he doesn't become sexually compatible with her. She will always be wondering why her friends tell her about the fantastic sex they've been having whilst she's getting this ho-hum, unsatisfying sex.
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Anonymous #2
#18
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#18
(Original post by Dunnig Kruger)
That is a gross misrepresentation of what I actually said.

I said "Give this one a few chances to improve a lot on this area. If he doesn't, dump him and start your search for a man that's comeptent at giving you the sexual pleasure that you deserve."

There's a huge difference between giving him a few chances to improve a lot in his love making (and then dumping him if he doesn't improve). And telling her outright to dump him.

Dumping him after giving him a few chances to improve at his love making is 10,000% the right decision.
Because staying with him would come from a position of scarcity. Whilst leaving him would come from a position of abundance.
The abundant mindset is a way better one to have than the scarcity mindset.

If anyone doesn't have sexual incompatablity as one of their core relationship dealbreakers, then that is up to them.
However it is not possible for two people to be happy together in the long term if they are not sexually compatible.
I know it's anecdotal evidence, but every couple that I know of where they haven't been sexually compatible has either been unhappy or has broken apart. With there usually being a period of unhappiness leading up to the relationship breaking down. And by breaking down I mean either the couple separating or one or both of them having sex with someone else.

Sexual incompatability isn't so bad in the short term. In the long term it is.
There is zero chance that the OP will be happy with her boyfriend in the long term if he doesn't become sexually compatible with her. She will always be wondering why her friends tell her about the fantastic sex they've been having whilst she's getting this ho-hum, unsatisfying sex.
I'm not saying you told her to dump him right now, but that you told her to dump him given that condition. That's still telling someone what to do, rather than suggesting it, which is my point. I don't think 'sexual compatibility' is as black and white as you make it out to be. Maybe given some time it'll improve, may not be amazing but the couple might be ok with that and value other aspects of the relationship a lot more. There are inbetweens and compromises in any relationship. I do not agree with telling couples that they should break up just on account of one aspect of the relationship when we don't know how important it even is to them.
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Anonymous #1
#19
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#19
(Original post by Anonymous)
I'm not saying you told her to dump him right now, but that you told her to dump him given that condition. That's still telling someone what to do, rather than suggesting it, which is my point. I don't think 'sexual compatibility' is as black and white as you make it out to be. Maybe given some time it'll improve, may not be amazing but the couple might be ok with that and value other aspects of the relationship a lot more. There are inbetweens and compromises in any relationship. I do not agree with telling couples that they should break up just on account of one aspect of the relationship when we don't know how important it even is to them.
I agree with you fully
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