Does anyone else feel angry all the time - for literally no reason whatsoever

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Anonymous #1
#1
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#1
I don’t really know why I feel like this way all the time. Everyone and everything aggravate me so much that screaming into my pillow has become a daily routine.

I was depressed from yr9 to yr11. I’m in yr12 now and I can confidently and proudly say that I no longer am. That’s a bit of context for the conclusion I’ve come to - I feel like their were so many things I kept quiet about when I was feeling low and insecure as hell and now I don’t really care how people react if I decide to go off on them about every little thing they do that I dislike.

Why should I act happy and calm around people who i feel like abandoned me when I really needed help.

The thing is, everyone I know didn’t notice - not my family or my friends which is why everyone thinks I’m going through something now instead of when I actually was,as I’ve done a full 360 from being the quiet girl at the table to being the dismissive and irritable one.( bear in mind I used to be really loud and had the most obnoxious laugh, all the teachers knew me because I was in the isolation room all the time - people should have noticed something was off when I became quiet, not the other way around).

Honestly, at this point I’m waiting on university so I can move out and have a chance of starting over, a real chance to be happy. I’ve been sad for 3 years, I’ll probably be angry for the next 2, now I’m just waiting for the year I can be happy.

This was supposed to be a question for people to help my figure out why I was angry but I started writing and it seems like I’ve figured it out on my own. So instead I’m gonna ask for advice on how I can be less irritated by people - I literally don’t leave my room anymore unless it’s for food because any time I see someone my body seems to be craving an argument, but my mind is too tired to deal with people and their noise. Also do things honestly change when you get to university - I’m scared that it won’t and that I’ve stuck it out the last couple of years just to be disappointed by the fact that I’ll be around the same people and live in the same house.

Feel free to read my rant, or not. Your choice. But if you do, thanks for listening it means a lot.
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GabiAbi84
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Anger can be caused by a lot of things so there’s no one way to stop from feeling angry.
Finding a way to let it out can help-like writing here helped realise why you were angry.
Other outlets can be physical like running/boxing even dancing. Yoga and meditation can be a great way to release energy whilst also learning about letting smaller things go.
Being irritable is often another way of depression coming out. Were you in therapy for your depression at all?
Smaller things you can do in the immediate present can be silly things like counting to ten (I know I know but it can work) or closing your eyes to think of the beach.
It may change when you got to university as you can have a fresh start and leave the anger and blame behind but it often will follow you there and creep back into your life if you just suppress it and pretend everything’s fine. I wish I could say it would disappear-it might but it might not. X
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
Anger can be caused by a lot of things so there’s no one way to stop from feeling angry.
Finding a way to let it out can help-like writing here helped realise why you were angry.
Other outlets can be physical like running/boxing even dancing. Yoga and meditation can be a great way to release energy whilst also learning about letting smaller things go.
Being irritable is often another way of depression coming out. Were you in therapy for your depression at all?
Smaller things you can do in the immediate present can be silly things like counting to ten (I know I know but it can work) or closing your eyes to think of the beach.
It may change when you got to university as you can have a fresh start and leave the anger and blame behind but it often will follow you there and creep back into your life if you just suppress it and pretend everything’s fine. I wish I could say it would disappear-it might but it might not. X
Thanks for the response and to answer some of your questions, I didn’t go to therapy. I was ashamed that my family and friends would start asking where I was going all the time and I wouldn’t be able to give a proper answer without ‘exposing’ myself. I get where you’re coming from when you say it may not disappear. It was the only piece of hope I was holding on to that kept me going through the years where I felt low. It’s easier to see now that I was somewhat deluding myself into a false sense of future happiness and that my past wasn’t suddenly going to be erased.
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GabiAbi84
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I didn’t mean for you to lose hope. Getting away from the issues can be the freedoms you need to be able to separate the anger from yourself. And a fresh start is often the catalyst to enable you to work out your problems.
I’m sorry that I made you feel that way, it was not my intention.
I’m also sorry that you felt ashamed to go to therapy.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by GabiAbi84)
I didn’t mean for you to lose hope. Getting away from the issues can be the freedoms you need to be able to separate the anger from yourself. And a fresh start is often the catalyst to enable you to work out your problems.
I’m sorry that I made you feel that way, it was not my intention.
I’m also sorry that you felt ashamed to go to therapy.
You have nothing to be sorry for, it’s honestly how i’ve been feeling these last couple of months - it wasn’t you who made me feel that way.
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TabithaFord99
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I'm going to try and respond to all your posts here - in no particular order. A couple of caveats - obviously I don't know you, and it is difficult to draw any conclusions from these limited exchanges, but I hope that receiving an objective view here, from someone who has no dog in this fight might help you.

First of all, you say you were "depressed". I'm not sure if this is a conclusion you have arrived at yourself or if you were diagnosed by a clinician, but if the latter, i'd suggest you need to follow up and go back to your GP and talk about your current emotions. This is not a criticism of you, but I am aware there are a lot of people posting on here who state "I'm depressed" when they are experiencing low mood, but who have not had a medical diagnosis of depression. This is important, because anger is often just a different expression of depression. You articulate that yourself in fact - you used to express your anger/upset as sadness, and now you vocalise it. I can relate to this myself, in fact, I went through a period of grief recently, and was very sad and then became very angry. Both were just expressions of the same underlying issue.

So - in terms of solution - I think a trip to your GP to talk honestly about your mood and how you are now expressing your feelings in anger.

This is not the way you want to be. It is draining, and stressful and nobody wants to be around an angry person - it may feel cathartic in the moment, but you will get to the point where you become angry at yourself for being so angry. In short, there are options here for you not to feel this way.

You mentioned a couple of things which worried me slightly - firstly, is the expectation that going to university will re-set everything - "I'm waiting for the year I can be happy." I regret to be the bearer of reality here, but the human condition is one where absolute happiness for 365 days a year is simply impossible. We can, of course, live at peace with ourselves and others, but university brings its own challenges and strains, and being "happy" the whole time is just an unrealistic expectation. You can aim to be "happier" than you are now, but don't raise the bar so high that you will be disappointed.

The second thing that concerned me was your response to the other poster, when you said : "it wasn't you who made me feel that way." OK - so other people, of course, have a bearing on how we feel, but part of being an adult is recognising that very often people do things not with the intention of deliberately hurting us or making our lives awful, but because they are screwed up themselves, or negligent, or dealing with other things. We have to forgive people, or we continue to feel angry, and the only person that hurts is ourselves. While other people hurt us, we have agency over our own lives. We can choose to ignore them, forgive them, move on, focus on other matters - in other words, you have choice here. You can choose to continue to feel angry, or you can choose to start letting go of the anger and live in the light.

I obviously know none of your circumstances, but I can tell you that you are missing out on your life by holding onto anger. I hope this helps you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by TabithaFord99)
I'm going to try and respond to all your posts here - in no particular order. A couple of caveats - obviously I don't know you, and it is difficult to draw any conclusions from these limited exchanges, but I hope that receiving an objective view here, from someone who has no dog in this fight might help you.

First of all, you say you were "depressed". I'm not sure if this is a conclusion you have arrived at yourself or if you were diagnosed by a clinician, but if the latter, i'd suggest you need to follow up and go back to your GP and talk about your current emotions. This is not a criticism of you, but I am aware there are a lot of people posting on here who state "I'm depressed" when they are experiencing low mood, but who have not had a medical diagnosis of depression. This is important, because anger is often just a different expression of depression. You articulate that yourself in fact - you used to express your anger/upset as sadness, and now you vocalise it. I can relate to this myself, in fact, I went through a period of grief recently, and was very sad and then became very angry. Both were just expressions of the same underlying issue.

So - in terms of solution - I think a trip to your GP to talk honestly about your mood and how you are now expressing your feelings in anger.

This is not the way you want to be. It is draining, and stressful and nobody wants to be around an angry person - it may feel cathartic in the moment, but you will get to the point where you become angry at yourself for being so angry. In short, there are options here for you not to feel this way.

You mentioned a couple of things which worried me slightly - firstly, is the expectation that going to university will re-set everything - "I'm waiting for the year I can be happy." I regret to be the bearer of reality here, but the human condition is one where absolute happiness for 365 days a year is simply impossible. We can, of course, live at peace with ourselves and others, but university brings its own challenges and strains, and being "happy" the whole time is just an unrealistic expectation. You can aim to be "happier" than you are now, but don't raise the bar so high that you will be disappointed.

The second thing that concerned me was your response to the other poster, when you said : "it wasn't you who made me feel that way." OK - so other people, of course, have a bearing on how we feel, but part of being an adult is recognising that very often people do things not with the intention of deliberately hurting us or making our lives awful, but because they are screwed up themselves, or negligent, or dealing with other things. We have to forgive people, or we continue to feel angry, and the only person that hurts is ourselves. While other people hurt us, we have agency over our own lives. We can choose to ignore them, forgive them, move on, focus on other matters - in other words, you have choice here. You can choose to continue to feel angry, or you can choose to start letting go of the anger and live in the light.

I obviously know none of your circumstances, but I can tell you that you are missing out on your life by holding onto anger. I hope this helps you.
Thank for the reply, and to answer a few of your questions: yes, I had been diagnosed about a year ago. I stopped feeling this way since the summer however so I guess I just assumed I was better. I was a lot happier at the beginning of the year however I still hung around with the same people who I partially blamed for how I was feeling. Forgiving them really isn’t at the top of my to-do list at the moment, I tried many times but it’s hard not to remember how the use to act when they are always around. You’re post really did help so thank you for the advice.
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