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    (Original post by Sugar_Gems)
    I think you missed the whole point of my post
    Do you think men really care about all that, when there already reaping the benefits?? :p:
    *they're.

    The essential question in your post was 'why bother getting married?'. I answered it.

    However, how a MAN would respond probably depends what he is in the relationship for. If he actually loves the woman then I think my response is pretty reasonable. If he's there just for a quick screw then you're probably right, but your post did make some pretty sweeping generalisations.
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    (Original post by Angelil)
    *they're.

    The essential question in your post was 'why bother getting married?'. I answered it.

    However, how a MAN would respond probably depends what he is in the relationship for. If he actually loves the woman then I think my response is pretty reasonable. If he's there just for a quick screw then you're probably right, but your post did make some pretty sweeping generalisations.

    Jeeez
    Calm down dear you're going to give yourself a nose bleed :p:
    The 'essential question' in my initial post was a rhetorical question, you know, a question asked for a purpose OTHER than to obtain the information or answer to the question asked?
    Kinda like me asking 'Why are you such a sullen, miserable little thing?' which is more a statement regarding my opinion of you, rather than a genuine request to know

    Blimey, my initial post was made in JEST woman.
    It was clearly tongue in cheek! :p:
    Take the stick out your backside and lighten up already!

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    How charming of you. I hope I never meet you in real life. No need to resort to insults just because it's difficult to read the tone of people's posts over the internet.
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    (Original post by Helenia)
    maybe he's just waiting for the opportune moment?
    And you mentioned he kept talking about diamond cuts etc, who knows what might be around the corner! If you rush him or nag him it might ruin his amazing surprise that he's been planning for months!
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    #2

    my boyfriend (now fiancee) proposed to me afta just 5 months of been together, not planning on getting married for quite a few years but every onei s different, we had decided on xmas time for engagement then he went and suprised me everyone is different, doesnt mean he doesnt want to .
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    my boyfriend (now fiancee) proposed to me afta just 5 months of been together, not planning on getting married for quite a few years but every onei s different, we had decided on xmas time for engagement then he went and suprised me everyone is different, doesnt mean he doesnt want to .
    Pretty much the same situation as you, it wasn't planned. I knew it was gunna happen at some point, just didn't think it'd happen so soon! Every relatioship is different though, some people wait longer than others!
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    Ugh, I know the feeling! I'm trying so hard not to end up like Charlotte in Sex and the City but it's wearing thin!! :shifty:
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    #1

    Oh, I hate anon-ing not letting you know when you're quoted and I obviously don't hang out in H&R enough. So a bit of thread necromancy. :o:

    (Original post by dancingqueen)
    Do I take from your comment above you are engaged?!
    Hmm, well - I started over thinking (have been doing general diamond research, ahem, it's interesting) and thought perhaps I had got over-excited by the prospect and that specific ring wasn't absolutely perfect and felt guilty about him spending £££s on something that wasn't. So we didn't get it in the end.

    Feeling a little impatient, but the whole actual "proposal" thing is important to me. I have a hunch he has just bought one though and we have an anniversary coming up (which he has actually asked about where we should go for dinner :eek: ), so we shall see. :woo:


    (Original post by (Sugar_Gems) )
    Basically these days men are thinking:
    'Why marry the cow when I'm getting the milk for free'
    see where I'm going with this?? lol
    Men have been spoilt to the point of no return: regular sex, love, companionship, dinner on the table (maybe? lol) etc, etc.

    WHY would they want to change anything??
    Get married?? For what benefit exactly?? lol In most relationships, they're already getting whatever they would be getting out of being married to their partner, long before they have signed any wedding certificates
    Yeah, I've heard that argument before and in part might agree with some of it for some people.
    Although I don't think it holds true in our case, because things would change. Neither of us plan to have children outside of marriage and we both definitely want them and have been thinking about the time frame now my degree end is in site! We don't officially live together at the moment either and I would prefer to be at least engaged before that too.


    Wren, I'm not sure about the romantic gesture planning for months being his style! But I think he does now realize that a proposal with a ring rather than just an implicit assumption/practical discussion is important to me. Trying hard to keep my lips sealed.

    alibertine, how is your love life going?
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    The OP is really too young to get married.

    By all means do it, but don't expect it to last.
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    (Original post by ms500)
    The OP is really too young to get married.

    By all means do it, but don't expect it to last.
    What age should one marry at to guarantee longevity? :hmmmm2:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    What age should one marry at to guarantee longevity? :hmmmm2:
    I would say >25 but <35 would be the ideal window. You can never guarantee that it will last, but rushing to get married in your early 20's is a bad idea, there's so much more to life you have yet to experience.
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    (Original post by ms500)
    I would say >25 but <35 would be the ideal window. You can never guarantee that it will last, but rushing to get married in your early 20's is a bad idea, there's so much more to life you have yet to experience.
    There is such a thing as a biological clock cockarse. She said she wants kids but (understandibly) not out of wedlock.
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    (Original post by ms500)
    I would say >25 but <35 would be the ideal window. You can never guarantee that it will last, but rushing to get married in your early 20's is a bad idea, there's so much more to life you have yet to experience.
    Hmm, well 'early 20s' I take to mean 20-23, so it's quite possible by the time it would take to plan a wedding I won't be a million miles from 25.
    But anyhow, as I mentioned - we've been together for coming up to 5 years it doesn't feel very rushed to me? The experiences idea is interesting, but I don't think you can generalize that time alone gives you "experience", other than getting older! can you be any more specific about what sort of life experience you think is necessary?

    (Original post by Tufts)
    There is such a thing as a biological clock cockarse. She said she wants kids but (understandibly) not out of wedlock.
    Tehe.
    Yep, we both like the idea of a big family (~4 or so), so logistically would need to get started before 30 and I think it makes sense to be established as a family unit and have been married for a while first.
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    I wish I knew who you were so I could pos rep you! You seem to have your head totally screwed on and to have a stable healthy relationship! Good luck with everything xxx
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    OP so what is the current situation? Why his reluctance?
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    (Original post by Tufts)
    OP so what is the current situation? Why his reluctance?
    Hopefully there isn't really is reluctance, when I updated the last time back in September we had picked out a ring - he had placed the deposit and we were going to tell his parents (staying overseas with them) when we collected (after setting and resizing). I then got concerned that I had got carried away in the excitement and gone for something that were there right then but wasn't perfect so didn't want to spend his £££s on something that wasn't. So we didn't announce anything and there wasn't an explicit proposal.

    Probably a bit silly to place so much emphasis on a ring, I obviously realize it's only a symbol etc. and not necessary, then neither is the whole proposal question it could have just been an extension of discussions we've had and an agreement.
    But... I'm not usually particularly high maintenance I don't think and he realizes that both of those together before making anything official would mean a lot to me. :o:

    He was on the receiving ends of some 'so why haven't you proposed yet?' s at a function where we saw lots of old friends a few weeks back, muhaha and looked sort of wistful. I have a hunch he may have ordered a ring though, so fingers crossed it will be forthcoming! :woo:



    dita_parlo - Thank you. We have had our wobbles but got through them, which is why I'm intrigued as to whether there's anything specific ms500 thinks should be experienced before committing!
    I suspect if it does happen I'll get overexcited and mention it in the discussion thread of my usual subforum haunt, so can PM you if I get an rep-whorey urge. :p:
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    Hopefully there isn't really is reluctance, when I updated the last time back in September we had picked out a ring - he had placed the deposit and we were going to tell his parents (staying overseas with them) when we collected (after setting and resizing). I then got concerned that I had got carried away in the excitement and gone for something that were there right then but wasn't perfect so didn't want to spend his £££s on something that wasn't. So we didn't announce anything and there wasn't an explicit proposal.

    Probably a bit silly to place so much emphasis on a ring, I obviously realize it's only a symbol etc. and not necessary, then neither is the whole proposal question it could have just been an extension of discussions we've had and an agreement.
    But... I'm not usually particularly high maintenance I don't think and he realizes that both of those together before making anything official would mean a lot to me. :o:

    He was on the receiving ends of some 'so why haven't you proposed yet?' s at a function where we saw lots of old friends a few weeks back, muhaha and looked sort of wistful. I have a hunch he may have ordered a ring though, so fingers crossed it will be forthcoming! :woo:



    dita_parlo - Thank you. We have had our wobbles but got through them, which is why I'm intrigued as to whether there's anything specific ms500 thinks should be experienced before committing!
    I suspect if it does happen I'll get overexcited and mention it in the discussion thread of my usual subforum haunt, so can PM you if I get an rep-whorey urge. :p:
    What was the agreement re: the ring?
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    :woo: Just a final update to say that we are engaged.:love:
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    Oh.
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    (Original post by Anonymous)
    :woo: Just a final update to say that we are engaged.:love:
    Awwww, congratulations! :woo:
    I was wondering if that was why this thread had popped up again!
 
 
 
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