Having sex for the first time

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Quirkychey
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So my moms ex boyfriend, they used to date for about 3 years. They met on an app and when the got together my brothers and I Went out Maine to live with them. He had a son named Austin only 2 years older than me. Long story short in didn’t work and we moved back to New Jersey. Years later I am 17 Now, they are back together but- it’s a 3 couple relationship. He had remarried, my mom and his wife are both bisexual so they are in a relationship of three. I started talking to Austin and found out a lot about him. Took an ultimate liking to him.. even though I shouldn’t have.. we have been talking for 2 weeks now. I had just been cheated on when I went back out to Maine 3 weeks ago by my ex and we just got into a conversation about Relationships. He told me he wants to lose his virginity, so I said I did too. The more we talked the more we decided we wanted to see if he could come out here and we could take eachothers virginity. Now that’s fine and I am excited but one problem. His parents and MY mom are doing a “wedding” they won’t actually be married to eachother because they can’t, but technically he will become my step brother- he has NO idea. Could I get in trouble for doing it? I mean he isn’t my brother or related to me at all and he won’t be through marriage because the marriage is more between him a step mom and my mom . So to me I don’t see how it would be wrong but I need help. I really want him and I feel like I can’t say no if I see him
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w8d72
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You can say no.
The brilliant thing about human beings is having the ability to not do something.

In my personal opinion the ability to not have sex could become very useful to you in this situation. Tell Austin you're finding this uncomfortable given how you know each other. This is called not giving consent. Consent is important.

What you have described is, from a UK perspective, quite bonkers. My advice long term would be to put some geographical distance between you and your mother to understand how strange some of this stuff really is and then return to the family situation with a bit more of the real world about you.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by w8d72)
You can say no.
The brilliant thing about human beings is having the ability to not do something.

In my personal opinion the ability to not have sex could become very useful to you in this situation. Tell Austin you're finding this uncomfortable given how you know each other. This is called not giving consent. Consent is important.

What you have described is, from a UK perspective, quite bonkers. My advice long term would be to put some geographical distance between you and your mother to understand how strange some of this stuff really is and then return to the family situation with a bit more of the real world about you.
I would give him my consent. I trust him 100% and he is an ideal person to do it with I am just asking if it is wrong to lose my virginity at 17 and all that?
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Anonymous #2
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You are both wanting to get in a sexual relationship for the wrong reasons. It's about more than being on the rebound or just losing your virginity; at it's best it's an intimate act to express loving feelings between 2 people.

Family situation aside, don't do it. Wait until you are having sex with someone you truly care for, and who returns that. There's a good chance you'll regret doing it this way.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Anonymous)
You are both wanting to get in a sexual relationship for the wrong reasons. It's about more than being on the rebound or just losing your virginity; at it's best it's an intimate act to express loving feelings between 2 people.

Family situation aside, don't do it. Wait until you are having sex with someone you truly care for, and who returns that. There's a good chance you'll regret doing it this way.
I understand 100% but I really do love him, and we of course plan on meeting first.. and dating. He suggests we wait till I turn 18 to have sex but is it wrong to do another things? I really want too and it’s not just because I want to lose my virginity and all that is it because I trust him and he wouldn’t hurt me.. and he has been very emotionally supportive. I just don’t know what my mother would say
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Anonymous #2
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I understand 100% but I really do love him, and we of course plan on meeting first.. and dating. He suggests we wait till I turn 18 to have sex but is it wrong to do another things? I really want too and it’s not just because I want to lose my virginity and all that is it because I trust him and he wouldn’t hurt me.. and he has been very emotionally supportive. I just don’t know what my mother would say
You don't really love someone after 2 weeks of talking, you barely know the guy. You're building it up too much because of the (vague) family connection. If he lives far away, how are you going to 'date' properly, hasn't he got studies or a job? That's not the opportunity for doing 'other things', that's when you really get to know someone, particularly as just talking online/on the phone doesn't give a true picture as you cant see the body language.

You can't put a timescale on having sex and already discussing it with "we'll do it when you're 18" is creepy by him and immature by both of you; even asking 'is it wrong at 17?' shows you aren't ready for that kind of relationship. It might sound nice, but it is already putting pressure on you that there's some kind of deadline and what will happen when you turn 18. There's no rush to have sex with anyone.
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YaliaV
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I hope to god that this is a fictional story.
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