Boyfriend going to a party with girls there

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Anonymous #1
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How do I deal with this Calmly and not overthink? Things have happened way in the past that has ruined my trust slightly so I’m a bit uneasy about things like this so he usually wouldn’t go to a party where girls were but it’s his friends 18th. Does any girls have any advice how to take my mind away from him being near pretty girls that will be drunk?
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RoyalSheepy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How do I deal with this Calmly and not overthink? Things have happened way in the past that has ruined my trust slightly so I’m a bit uneasy about things like this so he usually wouldn’t go to a party where girls were but it’s his friends 18th. Does any girls have any advice how to take my mind away from him being near pretty girls that will be drunk?
Do you trust him? Simple yes or no answer.
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YaliaV
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A relationship is nothing without trust.
Last edited by YaliaV; 4 weeks ago
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by RoyalSheepy)
Do you trust him? Simple yes or no answer.
Yes.
(Original post by YaliaV)
A relationship is nothing without trust.
I do trust him but it’s more than natural to be slightly worried in situations like this all im asking is to get some help on how to take my mind of it. I’m not asking for people to analyse my relationship please
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RoyalSheepy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yes.

I do trust him but it’s more than natural to be slightly worried in situations like this all im asking is to get some help on how to take my mind of it. I’m not asking for people to analyse my relationship please
Then why are you worrying then? There's no need if you trust him.


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For the record, none of the posts so far have been analysing your relationship. If you feel this way, don't post on this forum :dontknow:
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by RoyalSheepy)
Then why are you worrying then? There's no need if you trust him.


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For the record, none of the posts so far have been analysing your relationship. If you feel this way, don't post on this forum :dontknow:
Any girl I know would feel uneasy in this situation as it’s more high risk, drink is involved, accidents can happen. And no they are analysing it, I’ve asked for methods to stop myself from worrying not for people to say wether my relationship is good or not.
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Anonymous #2
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He is 100% cheating on you. Might as well start looking for a new boyfriend right now. Get tinder if you haven’t already.
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RoyalSheepy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Any girl I know would feel uneasy in this situation as it’s more high risk, drink is involved, accidents can happen. And no they are analysing it, I’ve asked for methods to stop myself from worrying not for people to say wether my relationship is good or not.
But you said you trust him.... You're contradicting yourself here.

Where in this thread has myself or YaliaV said the latter? That's a psychologist/counselor's job, not a job for a forum of students.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by royalsheepy)
but you said you trust him.... You're contradicting yourself here.

Where in this thread has myself or yaliav said the latter? That's a psychologist/councellor's job, not a job for a forum of students.
yes but drink is involved so accidents can happen so i was asking for ways to distract myself
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username5301604
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What are the things that happened in the past that made your trust in him become shaky, as you mentioned in your OP?
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RoyalSheepy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
yes but drink is involved so accidents can happen so i was asking for ways to distract myself
Play a game, watch a film, FaceTime a friend, post on TSR, etc.
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twinklelittlstar
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okay, imma tell u how this looks like to me. if u trust ur bf, prove it. give him a vote of confidence, see how that turns out. u need to understand that what you're feeling most probably doesn't stem from stuff he's done, but from ur own insecurities. i suggest writing down what you're feeling right now (ur fears, basically), so, for example, i'm pretty sure it'd be something like: "i'm afraid he will leave me for a prettier girl" or "what if I'm not enough?". from there, write down why u feel that way, for ex: "I don't think I'm pretty" or "I always feel like he expects too much of me", whatever it is. write it down. once u get to the bottom of why you're feeling this way, work on trying to dismantle how u feel, always calmly and taking into account that u can't help how u feel, but u can help what u do with how you're feeling. right now, u're feeling insecure. well, find out why you're insecure, and try fix it. once u get to the bottom of the problem and do this more than once, u'll start to figure out patterns and problems in ur self-esteem. be patient w yourself, but don't hold ur bf accountable unless he really has done stuff to make u distrust him. trusting is especially hard when you're insecure, but it's essential in a relationship. good luck <3
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DrawTheLine
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(Original post by Anonymous)
How do I deal with this Calmly and not overthink? Things have happened way in the past that has ruined my trust slightly so I’m a bit uneasy about things like this so he usually wouldn’t go to a party where girls were but it’s his friends 18th. Does any girls have any advice how to take my mind away from him being near pretty girls that will be drunk?
If you trust him, then there is no issue.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Synergy_)
What are the things that happened in the past that made your trust in him become shaky, as you mentioned in your OP?
He kissed a girl at a after party (while drunk)
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by RoyalSheepy)
Play a game, watch a film, FaceTime a friend, post on TSR, etc.
Games a good idea, thank you
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RoyalSheepy
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Games a good idea, thank you
You asked, I provided. You trust him, there's no problems.
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lazerbeem
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#17
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Do puzzles, rubix cube, jigsaws. Paint, learn to draw, improve maths skills, watch movies, watch a boxset, read, go for a walk, do intense exercise, have a clear out or big tidy up of your bedroom, browse Google maps for places you've never been to (I spend loads of times ariel and street viewing random places and then imagining how it would be to live there), learn all the capitals of the world, watch a documentary, YouTube wormhole, practice hairstyles.

Phew. OK theres some activities you can do.
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YaliaV
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#18
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I do trust him but it’s more than natural to be slightly worried in situations like this all im asking is to get some help on how to take my mind of it. I’m not asking for people to analyse my relationship please
You can’t control his behaviour because you don’t own him and possessive behaviour will drive him away. Distracting yourself won’t deal with the problem. A relationship is nothing without trust and it doesn’t seem like you trust him.
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Anonymous #1
#19
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(Original post by twinklelittlstar)
okay, imma tell u how this looks like to me. if u trust ur bf, prove it. give him a vote of confidence, see how that turns out. u need to understand that what you're feeling most probably doesn't stem from stuff he's done, but from ur own insecurities. i suggest writing down what you're feeling right now (ur fears, basically), so, for example, i'm pretty sure it'd be something like: "i'm afraid he will leave me for a prettier girl" or "what if I'm not enough?". from there, write down why u feel that way, for ex: "I don't think I'm pretty" or "I always feel like he expects too much of me", whatever it is. write it down. once u get to the bottom of why you're feeling this way, work on trying to dismantle how u feel, always calmly and taking into account that u can't help how u feel, but u can help what u do with how you're feeling. right now, u're feeling insecure. well, find out why you're insecure, and try fix it. once u get to the bottom of the problem and do this more than once, u'll start to figure out patterns and problems in ur self-esteem. be patient w yourself, but don't hold ur bf accountable unless he really has done stuff to make u distrust him. trusting is especially hard when you're insecure, but it's essential in a relationship. good luck <3
He kissed a girl while drunk a few years ago- that’s why I now have slight trust issues. I’m not showing to him that I’m worried as he deserves the benefit of doubt. I trust him but whilst drunk it’s different. Thank you, I appreciate it
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username5301604
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He kissed a girl at a after party (while drunk)
How did you find out? Through him, or?

Just trying to get some context before I can give you my opinion (:
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