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Am I being really unfair? watch

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    Back story:
    [My parents split up when I was 5 due to my Mum having an affair with the man she is now married to. He and I have never got on in all the 13 years I've know him, and whilst I would think it's partly down to resentment, the fact is he's the most abhorrent character I've ever met. Not only does he put my Mum down at fairly regular intervals (I swear he's having a detrimental impact on her health as he is a complete control freak and she seems to be slowly losing the will to live) but I never seem to get anything right either. I've been verbally abused for trivial things like not washing a plate as soon as I've used it, opening a can of tuna on the kitchen side instead of over the sink and all sorts of other crap basically. It's a case of his way is the right way and any opinion anyone else has is ignored or rapidly shot down.]

    Long story short:
    My Dad has booked a restaurant for tomorrow to celebrate my A Level results, and has done it provisionally for 2/4. I asked my Mum if she wanted to come and she seems adamant that her husband should join us, but I just can't bear the thought of how awkward it will be, as neither of us talk to each other unless it's him criticising me. I don't want to fall out with my Mum, as I would love her to be there, but as I'm going to uni in a few weeks it would be nice to see the pair of them without any tension before I go! So really, what should I say to her? Or should I just leave the pair of them out and go with Dad?!
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    Well, how well do your parents get on anyway? Whether your stepfather is there or not, surely it would still be a bit awkward for the two of them? And while I can understand how you feel, I can guess that your mum might feel bad about leaving her husband at home to go out for dinner with her ex, even if you are there. It may not be exactly what you want, but perhaps it would be best for just you and your Dad to go alone- maybe you can do something with just your Mum another time.
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    My parents get on fine, in fact they probably get on better now than when they were married as I have been told many times they were never 'in love', just had me and thought sod it.
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    (Original post by Symph)
    My parents get on fine, in fact they probably get on better now than when they were married as I have been told many times they were never 'in love', just had me and thought sod it.
    I think that your mum needs to be more considerate about your feelings and that this meal isn't about her or her husband but about you. I think that you need to explain to your mum that she either comes alone or not at all. I think that it is a disgrace that she would make you chose between her and her husband coming or not at all especially seeing as though you two obviously don't get on and that it should be fairly obvious to her that you don't get on.

    I think that if she can't spare one night out of the whole year to go out and celebrate results which you won't do again then sod her. I know it's harsh but what she's doing is also harsh.

    And yes I have thought of the idea that maybe she also is being pressured from her husband not to go unless her goes but at the same time, get a grip. She has to do this for you.
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    Just go with your Dad.
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    I suppose going with Dad would be the easiest. But it always seems to be Mum who's complicating things, she hasn't been in the country for any results days, she's missed about 10 birthdays, and my leaver's day this year so perhaps I should just tell her to stuff it
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    (Original post by Symph)
    I suppose going with Dad would be the easiest. But it always seems to be Mum who's complicating things, she hasn't been in the country for any results days, she's missed about 10 birthdays, and my leaver's day this year so perhaps I should just tell her to stuff it
    bloomin eck.

    either that husband of hers is as you say a COMPLETE control freak or your mum just really doesn't care.

    I just hope this lesson teaches you what you should not do to your kids anyways.

    why are parents so crap?
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    You know you said your dad booked it for 2-4 people right so thats you, your mum, your dad, invite another mate or someone really close and tell your mum sorry but there is no space
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    TSR Support Team
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    Have a special day with your dad! He's the one that stuck by you and if your mother is going to be so mean then she doesn't deserve the chance to celebrate with you!
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    Maybe so, he is the one who books all the holidays after all, which for some reason can never be changed even though they always drive to the same caravan he owns in France.. It all makes sense!
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    I don't think it's unfair. It's your evening and should be up to you who you invite.
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    Tell her you'd like it to be sjut her and you dad and if she still wants her husband to come then just go with your father.
 
 
 
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