So I was at a friend of a friend’s birthday party and I got smashed. I started out alright, talking to new people and familiar faces. But I kept knocking back the Jaeger and Strongbow, and at one point I was leaning on a fish tank to pour a glass and accidentally caused part of it to shatter. Cue profuse apologies and offering of Jaeger to the hosts by way of consolation. Later, I went to the toilet and was sick.
I didn’t know this at the time but I busted the toilet seat partially, and caused a big mess in the sink that one of the host’s boyfriends had to clean up. I wanted to clean it myself but they were demanding that I come out and go home. So I opened the door and the boyfriend carried me home with my duffel bag. I kept telling him how sorry and appreciative I was and he was like “no worries, it happens to all of us”.
Then I wake up in the morning and have to face the music. My heart was beating really painfully and I was scared of what was happening; my body felt like a melee and my head was fine. Worst of all I felt so shameful and sorry for what I had done. So I walked back to apologise and pick up my gear that I had left.
The birthday girl was not there but two of her flatmates were; I apologised and meant it. They kept echoing “it happens, meh” but I didn’t feel like they should be justifying it. Picked up most of the stuff (the booze was gone but fair play to whoever drank it, I got most of it) but I couldn’t find my glasses despite finding the case, which is a bit worrying but hopefully they’ll turn up.
I later got in touch with my friend and she seemed to be fine about it too; but attempts to call the birthday girl and make up were rejected, she text back saying “leave it, everything’s fine, don’t call me”. I’m going to talk to my friend again tomorrow but I don’t want to just leave it like this, I’m intensely regretful and hate myself for what happened. Most people WOULD leave it but she has to see me say sorry to her face. Plus, I’d like to fix/pay for any damage and recover my glasses.
Can anyone offer any advice or anything. I was celebrating my own 19th and freedom from work/studying but noone deserved the havoc I wrought. I feel like I'd have to take a bullet for the poor girl to put things right. I don’t want any scorn or anything negative besides constructive criticism so please don’t start. As they said it happens to all of us
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acting stupid at a party watch
- 27-08-2008 03:10
- 27-08-2008 03:14
Don't hassle her for apologies. It's really annoying, happened to me once and I kept getting the OMG IM SO SORRY and it's like shut up, you were drunk.
Yes, you'll have to deal with a bit of laughter coming your way or something like that, but that's your own fault since you were a mess.
Happens to everyone who gets drunk once or twice :P
- 27-08-2008 03:14
Let it blow over a bit, I'm sure it'll be fine...
- 27-08-2008 03:19
It does happen to all of us!
Trust me, give it about a week and everyone will have forgotten about it.
To be honest, all this calling around etc is drawring attention to the fact that you embarrassed yourself so you are probably best of leaving it a few days especially as you have already apologised once.
They all sound very understanding about what happened so don't go worrying yourself about it.
Honestly, I really have done much worse things when drunk, some so bad I wouldnt want to talk about them on here.
Some of the more cringy things include, throwing a bowl at a collegues head and telling them I hated them, breaking my mates hoover and lots of CDs, punching my best mate in the face when out of control.
Mates will usually forgive and forget, just give it a few days to cool down!
- 27-08-2008 03:23
Best thing to do is just, do nothing.
These things happens, let the dust settle, you can bet the next time you go out it'll be one of your mates will do somthing similar, i know i have.
- 27-08-2008 03:43
I wouldn't worry about it. Apologising continuously will only annoy her.
- 27-08-2008 04:22
Obviously you're Anonymous, so I can't tell which country you're from, but whichever it is they certainly have one great citizen, in you! Takes a real ..je ne sais quoi.. to feel as remorseful as you seem, I'm sure, and to go to such lengths to apologize. Most people just wouldn't give a damn.
Hopefully you've learnt your lesson about the booze (I myself don't touch the stuff lol), but yeah everyone makes mistakes. You just need to "see it human" (as Arthur Miller wrote ). Advice to you would be to leave it now - the birthday girl was probably preparing for some mishaps either way, and it's not like you ruined the night.
- 27-08-2008 04:31
Jeez sounds like you're causing more bother by not just letting it go tbh
- 27-08-2008 04:33
Ahhhh it happens to everyone. Don't smother people with apologies, they really don't care after a while. Just don't do it again like.
- 27-08-2008 04:42
Well I texted saying "can I come over and apologise and explain myself" then attempted to call three times over the day but then she replied with the aforementioned text. It had the F bomb in it so either she's annoyed about the calls or just really mad because of the state I was in. So no more contact for a bit is fine.
However, the three I saw at the flat the next day did seem willing to accept my sorrys, and my mate bless her seems indifferent, she was more worried that I got sooo bad. Shall chat with her tommorow and try and figure out the score. I'll just let this cool off for a week or so, and try and see her friend around then and make it sincere. It'll work out, hopefully.
Also, I was chatting with a guy in this circle (my mate, him and the girl both of whom I had only met once before) on MSN tonight and he seemed quite haughty, as if nothing could ever be done to fix it ("long term damage" and "never show your face there again" ) and that my mate was harboring a real hatred for me ("you can forget about a relationship with her!").
I disagreed strongly and assured him that I was ashamed and would make ammends. Besides, me and her are just mates, I know that. He then removed me as a friend on Facebook but meh, I don't know him that well. As a matter of fact my mate is the main one I care about, as long as she stands by me that's all that counts.
Aside from that I'll let her friend chill and make up in a week or so. Maybe even this guy will stop taking the cream puff (I didn't do anything to hurt him so he's just being a git) after a fortnight or so. You think he was over-exaggerating with his claims? I don't need him to tell me I can't make up with people, he was out of order.
I don't mind being ripped for this, it was disgraceful but I suppose also darkly funny. I did make a "give me catharsis and let me stop being such a fool" status on FB but I have ceased contact with the birthday flat for the time being. Apart from them, my mate knows me well and surely won't mind if I keep discussing it with her. She'll help me sort it.
What do you think happened to the glasses? I'll be quite upset if they are broken. Also, the thing about my heart; I had gone to my jitsu class before this and realised I was out of shape (need to get more aerboic exercise and water) as I nearly blacked out from the wooziness. My heart was sore then as well when performing rolls and being thrown. Any advice?
- 27-08-2008 04:46
It's called a "hangover".
- 27-08-2008 04:51
No but the heart was hurting BEFORE the drink, as if I was being slammed directly onto it when rolling over my partner's belt and even breaking the fall didn't help. Then it hurt badly in the morning. What does the former indicate? Poor eating habits, or just being generally out of shape as I reckoned? And thankfully as I said the hangover did not extend to my brain. No hangovers for a year, please; I'm usually deft at avoiding them..
- 27-08-2008 15:43
Any follow-up advice based on my last few posts? I'm phoning my friend later on and I'll try and arrange a meet with her to share knowledge of what happened. A nice birthday surprise: I got my ID back from home so I can go clubbing again now
And about the heart? It really was quite worrying at the time although given three healthy meals a day and a bit of swimming, running etc. I should be prepared for the next jitsu session.
Thanks for all the support so far, and hopefully you're right and I didn't ruin the night
- 27-08-2008 16:10
Forget about the whole thing. Stop saying sorry. It makes no difference. The fact of the matter is that you did get drunk and you did cause damage. Saying sorry, even to their face (gasp) does **** all but irritate those who were affected.
I think you probably did ruin the night for a few people, and I think you should feel guilty. Be more careful next time.
- 27-08-2008 16:25
Well I’m trying to forget about the ordeal but its difficult. I do intend to say sorry to the hostess when things cool down because I owe her that and she’s the only one I know of who hasn’t heard it. I’d have thought if she’s calmed down about the whole thing next week, an honest and “lets make up” type of apology would be helpful (I can’t imagine just saying “hiya” to her next time and nothing else, how awkward would that be?).
Plus I need to talk to her about damages. Whether I ruined the night or not, I’ll make it next week’s priority to put things right for that flat. Depending on what my friend thinks of course. And its quite clear that I’m guilt personified now and intend to be damn sensible for as far forward as possible. Now, what about the health questions I had?
- 27-08-2008 16:31
Go see a GP.
- 27-08-2008 16:36
Someone punched in my door at a party. Not a big deal if people have parties there's bound to be some damage and you didn't really do it on purpose.
- 27-08-2008 16:41
Please stop apologising to her. If she is going to have a party, she has to expect for someone to get plastered. It really does happen to the best of us. She might be annoyed about some of the stuff, but you can't keep apologising or she will have reason to resent you and make it into way bigger of an issue.