The Student Room Group

How to claim for an independent student when you're stuck with an abusive mother

I need to somehow claim enough SFE max maintenance loan using my P60 instead of my mother's. I'm currently 19 soon to be 20 and while I still live with my mother, she has been well.. damaging my mental health via emotional abuse (and physical but that happened when I was younger). Not only that but her controlling behaviour makes it hard to make my own decisions or even stand up for myself because she views it as a rebellious attitude and will try to scare me for instance pay half of the rent (£80 every week so it is around £300 for a £700 flat) even though I already pay £99 council tax, her water bill debt which is nearly £300, gas £10 each week and electricity bill £23 a month, on top bus fares for work. For anyone asking why I haven't discussed with her about paying so much (I earn £800-£1,000 a month) it is because she is too entitled to listen and will always push her own agenda that is somehow smarter than mine.

Recently, she's been getting worse and kept calling me names and belittling me, so I've decided that I need to cut her off. The problem I face is how do I use my own finance (I work in Costa) to get the maximum amount from SFE. I'm not 25, I don't exactly have any police reports of her actions which I should have done but tbh there is this fear that I can't explain exactly. Thinking about it, I really should have reported her especially when a social worker came to our house. I thought maybe she would change or become better but... it's like she knows she is bad but she won't do anything to become a better parent. I honestly don't know what to do. Perhaps I should talk with Student Finance about it and see if there's anything to do. I don't want to associate with her but it's tricky when I'm still classed as a "dependant " student.
I honestly want to get out of here and never ever see her because her attitude and actions are impacting me personally and is making me feel worse. What are your suggestions? Is there anything I can do?
Without some evidence of irreconcilable estrangement (which means that you no longer have ANY contact with her) then I’m afraid SFE will consider that you are still dependent on your parents.

Evidence includes things like a letter from a teacher, social worker, your university, a doctor/health professional or a faith leader confirming that you are not in contact with your parents and that that situation is not going to change.

In terms of getting out of such a destructive environment and getting evidence then you need to start off with talking to people and seeking help.

Quick Reply

Related discussions

Latest

Trending

Trending

Articles for you