Is this guy online needy?

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Anonymous #1
#1
Report Thread starter 4 weeks ago
#1
He hasn't tried to chat me up or anything like that, and sometimes we do have deep convos. Basically he isn't a creeper however, he does get a little needy I think.

So in the past I have got irritated with him because he would say "I need a girlfriend". Now be said it the first time and I told him he will find someone one day, he said it another day and I ignored it and spoke about something else. The third time I got irritated and left a comment that showed my frustration, he said he was joking. Which I responded to saying I know. Which I do, he is joking when he says this but come on. How many times do you feel the need to repeat something and what response are you expecting?

I stopped speaking to him for about 2 months and I felt bad about it so I messaged him hi. Now he is always the one to message first, and he does it a little too often for my liking but that's not big deal on its own. But now he answers all of my threads to have some sort of interaction with me.

I've never answered any of his threads, there's no reason as to why. I'm just not interested in answering the questions he asks, so he messaged me saying "How come you never answer my questions?" I thought it was a dumb question so I answered with "...I just answer what I want" he responds with "K". He also mentions how I never ask him how he is doing, or ask him anything in joking form. In the end I responded with "What do you want from me?" and he goes "Wow that sounded like go away" I told him that wasn't my intent but this is where he goes and tells me he's joking. And be responded with "Actually that's how it came across for real" I just responded with OK since I've already told him that wasn't my intent.


Anyway what do you think? is he needy?
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Scottishlad888
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#2
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l think the guy is a bit immature he was maybe hoping he could have a date l think he is needing some one to talk with l dont think he is any kind of harm to any one
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999tigger
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#3
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He hasn't tried to chat me up or anything like that, and sometimes we do have deep convos. Basically he isn't a creeper however, he does get a little needy I think.

So in the past I have got irritated with him because he would say "I need a girlfriend". Now be said it the first time and I told him he will find someone one day, he said it another day and I ignored it and spoke about something else. The third time I got irritated and left a comment that showed my frustration, he said he was joking. Which I responded to saying I know. Which I do, he is joking when he says this but come on. How many times do you feel the need to repeat something and what response are you expecting?

I stopped speaking to him for about 2 months and I felt bad about it so I messaged him hi. Now he is always the one to message first, and he does it a little too often for my liking but that's not big deal on its own. But now he answers all of my threads to have some sort of interaction with me.

I've never answered any of his threads, there's no reason as to why. I'm just not interested in answering the questions he asks, so he messaged me saying "How come you never answer my questions?" I thought it was a dumb question so I answered with "...I just answer what I want" he responds with "K". He also mentions how I never ask him how he is doing, or ask him anything in joking form. In the end I responded with "What do you want from me?" and he goes "Wow that sounded like go away" I told him that wasn't my intent but this is where he goes and tells me he's joking. And be responded with "Actually that's how it came across for real" I just responded with OK since I've already told him that wasn't my intent.


Anyway what do you think? is he needy?
He sounds inexperienced and a bit lonely.

You sound really harsh.
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Atlas!
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You are clearly irritated by him and he seems to want something more. Stop talking to him, you will be doing him and yourself a favour.
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999tigger
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(Original post by Atlas!)
You are clearly irritated by him and he seems to want something more. Stop talking to him, you will be doing him and yourself a favour.
Would agree with this. You arent treating him as an equal or a friend or very nicely, more contempt. You dont have anything positive to say about him, so let him go and he can talk to someone else who he is a bit more compatible with, so can you. Just be honest.
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LovelyMrFox
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He sounds a bit immature, and you sound annoyed and like your not putting up with it. Not a good mix for a friendship.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by 999tigger)
He sounds inexperienced and a bit lonely.

You sound really harsh.
OK everyone. I told you what was relevant to my question,if I was a total bi*** he wouldn't want to talk to me either, and he is very opinionated like myself.

I'm a very friendly person which is why he is talking to me in the first place. He also has other online friends, I'm not his only hope or anything. But for some reason he is being needy towards me, and I'm not responding to it very well, you're right.

But to say I'm harsh is a bit much.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
He sounds a bit immature, and you sound annoyed and like your not putting up with it. Not a good mix for a friendship.
He is a 25 year old mechanic who boasts about how smart he is. A lot of things he says come across a little rude, I've only spoken about the times I get annoyed since this is my side of the story.

I'm 23 BTW, since I revealed his age I might as well.mention mine.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Atlas!)
You are clearly irritated by him and he seems to want something more. Stop talking to him, you will be doing him and yourself a favour.
I'm.not sure he does, he doesn't even know what I look like. I've never given him any information on myself about where I live apart from telling him I'm from the South East of England. He is a lot more open like that, but again this isn't just to him. I've only exchanged phone numbers with one person I've met online, and we get on very well. But I was speaking to him for about a year before I gave him.anh personal.details.

I doubt he wants something more with a female profile he barely knows anything about.
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Anonymous #1
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oh yeah, I didn't mention hes also asked me how many friends have my personal details, comparing himself to other people I talk to. There's nothing wrong with the question itself, but its the fact that he's wondering and comparing himself to other people I openly talk to online.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Atlas!)
You are clearly irritated by him and he seems to want something more. Stop talking to him, you will be doing him and yourself a favour.
I think you're right though I should just stop talking to him, even though I still feel a bit mean ditching someone after talking to them and following them
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by Anonymous)
He is a 25 year old mechanic who boasts about how smart he is. A lot of things he says come across a little rude, I've only spoken about the times I get annoyed since this is my side of the story.

I'm 23 BTW, since I revealed his age I might as well.mention mine.
You sound like you dont like him much. Id suggest you end the 'friendship' ( although it already seems to be a bit one sided at the moment ), since you are obviously unhappy around him.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by Scottishlad888)
l think the guy is a bit immature he was maybe hoping he could have a date l think he is needing some one to talk with l dont think he is any kind of harm to any one
I agree, like I said he isn't a creep. Just a little needy and it does irritate me a tad
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
You sound like you dont like him much. Id suggest you end the 'friendship' ( although it already seems to be a bit one sided at the moment ), since you are obviously unhappy around him.
Yeah just guess I don't. I never called us friends, and he hasn't either but we do chat online. Sometimes it is long discussions and I like it when we do get talking about some things but other times he does get a little irritating and messaging too.often. Like every other day.
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LovelyMrFox
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(Original post by Anonymous)
Yeah just guess I don't. I never called us friends, and he hasn't either but we do chat online. Sometimes it is long discussions and I like it when we do get talking about some things but other times he does get a little irritating and messaging too.often. Like every other day.
You need to set boundaries. Tell him that you would only appreciate it if he could message you once a week, or something along those lines. Also tell him that you do not like when he replies to all of your posts.
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Anonymous #1
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yeah he isn't happy at where he is right now, we have spoken about this before. He has also lost his job back in May, so he is a little depressed nowadays.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
You need to set boundaries. Tell him that you would only appreciate it if he could message you once a week, or something along those lines. Also tell him that you do not like when he replies to all of your posts.
I don't necessarily mind him responding to my public posts, its just that he never answered them until we stopped talking as much. So it was obvious to me that he wants my attention since we weren't talking as much in the DMs and he was messaging first everhtime.

I'll try to set boundaries and be a little more polite. It will be a little awkward though
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Anonymous #1
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yes so do I, and I don't like being mean to the guy or being impatient even though sometimes it does get to me (clearly)
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LovelyMrFox
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#19
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(Original post by Anonymous)
I don't necessarily mind him responding to my public posts, its just that he never answered them until we stopped talking as much. So it was obvious to me that he wants my attention since we weren't talking as much in the DMs and he was messaging first everhtime.

I'll try to set boundaries and be a little more polite. It will be a little awkward though
Ah, okay.
Setting boundaries is never comfortable so to say, but it will be better for you and him. Much less awkward than you trying to ignore him or being snappy.
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Anonymous #1
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(Original post by LovelyMrFox)
Ah, okay.
Setting boundaries is never comfortable so to say, but it will be better for you and him. Much less awkward than you trying to ignore him or being snappy.
thank you for your help
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