The Student Room Group

Boyfriend doesn't want sex..

He's not gay, firstly. :p:

We're each other's first serious partners and been sleeping together for a few months. He has no problems getting it up, and only has problems coming when he is drunk. He seems to enjoy it, I know he fancies me, so all seems fairly normal.

Until recently we only saw each other once a week, or maybe twice if lucky, so we would always have sex and before we did that, we would always do other stuff every time we saw each other. However now we see each other very frequently, almost every day or every other, and he just seems less interested. I feel like I'm always the one who initiates sexual stuff. Once he's turned on he gets really into it. but he has said more than once that we don't always have to have sex and that he loves spending time with me (I think this was to reassure me that he didn't just like me for physical reasons but it kind of worried me). I've had weird issues with pills and periods so he hasn't been able to do anything to me for a fortnight but I'm always willing to give him oral or whatever. he did say "omg I'm so lucky" but has also been unwilling to let me do anything, saying he's tired or feels bad as it's no longer a mutual thing cos he can't do anything back.

I'm not a sex maniac at all, this is only once a day or something. Am I right to be worried? Should I say something? I have said it feels like he never wants to do anything before but he just says what I wrote above. any advice?
It just sounds like to him sex is not his number one priority. To be honest, you should be pleased in someways lots of girls want guys that are so considerate.

From what you have said, he sounds very intrested in you and he likes the sex you do have so I don't really see why there should be a problem. Maybe he just doesnt want a relationship which revolves around a sex life. Some people don't actually want sex once a day. I think the average is once every two or three days. But this doesnt mean he doesnt want sex with you at all!

Maybe you should talk to him about this, as I'm sure hed be able to reassure you completely. I'm sure if he knew you wanted him to initiate things more he probably would as well.
Just sounds like the bloke has a low sex drive, its different in all people! Personally I don't get the whole period thing putting you off but its a common thing apparently according to past TSR polls and what not so I guess we can't blame him too much there.

I find in my experience that the longer I spend away from a partner of mine, the better the sex is when we see eachother. I used to pratically live with my ex and while I enjoyed spending time with her we didn't actually have sex very often which isn't like me. So if you really want sex ... see him less often?
Reply 3
Reconsider your first line OP. Maybe he is gay
Reply 4
Maybe he has other things on his mind like whether to have crunchy nut cornflakes or coco pops in the morning.
Reply 5
Ah I know how you feel. When my boyfriend lived in Fort Knox (so named because of the tight security- I could only stay there two nights a week) he initiated sex everytime I was over there, although now we live together, it's always me (he blames the new meds- a side effect is increased sex drive :wink:) but he never seems to himself...so he gets the first (and sometimes only, until I screamed at him that I needed satisfaction too!) orgasm.
Anyway, not entirely sure what to do about it, but I do know that it is common.
Reply 6
It just sounds to me, like he feels a bit bad that he cannot do anything sexual to you because of your pills etc. Maybe its worth talkin to him about it just for a while? It doesnt sound like it is a massive problem or anything to big to worry about.
I would say talk to him and see what he has to say about it all.
Reply 7
Deep1989
Reconsider your first line OP. Maybe he is gay


what he said.
Probably he just has a low sex drive, and I find the more I see a boyfriend the less I can be bothered, but if it's been a while then I am very bothered!
He sounds fine! Unless you are actually sexually frustrated which it doesn't sound like you are, don't go worrying yourself about it.
Some people just have lower sex drives. *shrugs* It's just a stereotype that all guys are gagging for it.

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